What are the first steps to take re divorce?

[PumpkinZulu]

Pretty self explanatory. I have no clue where to go from here, aside from knowing we need to be separated 12 months and do counselling, which is fine. But where to from here?

[Phteven]

How do I apply for a divorce?

You need to follow the steps outlined on this page.
And get an appointment with a legal aid person ASAP just in case it gets ugly.

[Amity]

If there's no property and there is agreement as to arrangements for the children then what you do is ... Wait!! That's all!!

[Beatrix]

Im pretty sure if you have been married under two years when you apply you have to do mediation between the two of you and then do parenting mediation and have a parenting plan in place.



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[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Under your circs, could you get an annulment?

[PumpkinZulu]

Under your circs, could you get an annulment?

Nah I don't think so.

[LionsandBears]

To nullify:

Nullity

Not likely

[Amity]

Nope no nullity

[Sopdet]

Major thing to have is an agreed to date that the marriage ended (or proof like a text message, email etc), this allows you in 12 months time to go and lodge the paperwork.

[Diamond75]

It is important to get some parenting orders in place. For example: if I didn't have parenting orders with my ex husband (Daniel's father) there would be nothing stopping him from picking him up for a visit, not return him but instead taking him back to NZ. The police wouldn't be able to do anything as technically he isn't breaking the law and I would have to apply to the courts for an order which would give my ex a few days to go into hiding some where. As it stands we have orders so if he was to take DS he would be breaking these orders and the police would act on it instantly.

I certainly don't want to scare you and I'm sure he isn't going to run off with Isla but it is important to protect yourself and Isla.

Big ((hugs)) I wish this wasn't happening for you hun.

xx

[PumpkinZulu]

So if we both agree on the date the marriage ended, I could lodge on that date, is that correct? Because really, it ended the day I found out everything in the beginning, even B said he would agree to that as the date if we were to divorce, he's said that a few times now. Which would mean 6 months until I could lodge, have I got that right? (date was July 9).

[Sopdet]

12 months and one day after that date, the forms need to be witnessed on the year and a day date.

Then once you lodge, you get a court date, once the divorce is granted, a month and a day after that it is all over.

[PumpkinZulu]

So July 10 I get the forms witnessed and signed and lodge? (sorry if I sound thick here!)

[PumpkinZulu]

Also Div...so I don't need to do counselling or mediation or anything yet? Ben will agree to any arrangements I set down re Isla.

[Sopdet]

There is info in the divorce kit as to the timings etc. Because you and Ben tried reconciling, I think that may be taken into account in the 12 month separation time period, can't remember exactly but the info is in the kit. Onyx put the link in her post.

[PumpkinZulu]

Thanks Hun, I'll have a read. I wish I never tried to fix things, he didn't try, it was so not worth it

[Melbournemumma]

Thanks Hun, I'll have a read. I wish I never tried to fix things, he didn't try, it was so not worth it

I don't have any advice but just wanted to say that at least you can walk away and know in your heart that you tried everything to save your marriage even if b didnt.

[beckoes]

no advice, just wanted to say i think you were amazing to try and fix things, i really admired you for sticking around and working on things even though it was a totally *hitty situation. atleast you know you tried!! i wish you all the best and an easy path.