Sitting down for dinner with the family

[EsJay]

Hi all, i just wondered what you do in your house?

DH and i had a bit of an arguement tonight about the fact that we dont sit together at the table to eat anymore, before we moved we used to do this every weekend when DSD would come up, and the plan was that once DD was old enough to know the difference we would do it everyday. We then moved, things were a bit busy at the start and the table covered in stuff waiting for a home, days turned into weeks, turned into months and over a year later we havent once sat down at that dinner table to eat as a family in this house.
Tonight it got the better of me and i said when are we going to start doing what we always said we would and eat like a normal family at the table, together, with no tv? DH replied with never, i only went along with that to stop your nagging, i have no intention of sitting anywhere except in front of this tv. I pushed DD's chair over to the table, got my dinner and we sat there and ate, i turned her away from the tv and talked to her while we ate. DH remained in front of the tv, i said why dont you eat with us as a family, its the only time youre ever going to get the kids to sit quietly and talk to you, he said no i told you where im eating and here i'll stay, what you want is out dated, irrelevant in this day and age and i think youre expecting too much.
DH's family always sat in front of the tv its the norm for him, whereas mine sat together, maybe this plays a role in it too?

So i guess the question i'm asking is, do families sit together to eat dinner, turn the tv off (or down) and talk?, or is it out dated and i am expecting too much?
I just want to get an idea of what other people do in their home these days, not looking for a way to justify my desire, just wonder is it no longer the norm to do this?

[Maruschke]

Ahh I'm sorry he and you disagree on this issue.

We have dinner together at the table every night, no TV. My family did the same thing when I was young.

[Traveller]

we do, most nights. Although admittedly I often eat a different meal from the rest of the family. But we usually don't have the TV on at that time of day so we take it as a chance to talk and share our day.

[nothing2lose]

I don't think it's outdated. There are lots of studies that support the fact that it has real merit.

We do it. Not absolutely every night, but very often.

[megs]

Yes we all sit down at the table to eat.....always at tea time, sometimes at lunchtime and breakfast we eat at the table but not all together.

We live in an old style farm house (not open plan) so our dining table is in the kitchen, but there is also a TV. Now that my older kids have started school I like to have a rule that the TV isn't on during tea time. (My DH wasn't as keen on this rule) some nights we do turn it off, mainly during the week, weekends I'm a bit more flexible. But I do enjoy the fact that we are all sitting together and eating.

[Phteven]

We do it almost every night. Even when we eat take away we sit at the table and I turn the TV off. It's very rare that we have a dinner in front of the TV.

Breakfast the boys eat together at the table while I make their lunches. I eat breakfast standing after I make their lunches.

Lunch at the weekend is usually a sit down meal but sometimes we just graze.

ETA - I can't stand the TV on while we're at the table. There is nothing I dislike more than someone craning their neck to look around you at the TV while they eat.

ETA - I love the conversations we have at the table. they crack me up. And it gives me a chance to teach them their table manners.

[sahbear]

We sit at table most nights and have a chat. Sometimes with the tv on, sometimes without it. DS is in bed or having his bottle normally when we eat, but otherwise he joins us. (unfortunately his only contribution to the conversation is mumumumum and dadadadad and dogdogdog!)
My family never ate at the table growing up, and I always felt like I was missing out on something which is why I like to do it now.

[Kazzo]

We eat at the table every night. Breakfast and lunch never seem to be eaten by anyone at the same time so they are eat anywhere meals. We normally have the TV on the news so we can hear it but we don't watch it. We never sat at the table when I grew up but I love the time we sit there together now so it will be something that we always do now.

[Netix]

Our family sits at the table, with the tv off. THere are odd occasions where we will sit on the floor in the lounge on a rug, and have an "inside picnic", usually with the idiot box on. When it was just the Man and I we usually sat on the floor in front of the tv, but it was something we both wanted to change when DD and DS came along. He didn't seem to want to when the Boy was over, unless I put my foot down. Whilst he said he wanted to, the actions didn't usually say the same thing, and more often than not, the tv was on during dinner, even if we were at the table.

I don't think that it happened "overnight". My Mum would tell me jsut to turn the tv off, but I know that is easier said than done. When we grew up, we ate at the table, no tv. I'm not sure about how the Man grew up. My kids accept it as a house "rule" that the tv is off, and if it is left on, DD will say the rules are being broken, and get up to (first pause the tv then) turn it off. I don't think it is outdated. Reasons of support for your argument would include: family life is getting busier and busier, so this time together everyday is special and will be remembered and appreciated by your children. Modern tv allows recording and pausing of shows, so there is no excuse for (heaven forbid!) him "missing" a show. Eating together as a family is STILL recommended by experts (don't ask me who, but I have heard it lots), to develop social skills, table manners, family interaction and appreciation, sharing the day's events. ETC. ETC.

Good luck, keep working at it.

[Boo Boo]

Yep, TV off and all sitting down at the dinner table, always dinner and more than likely breakfast and lunch too. I also did the same growing up too.

[Trillian]

Tell him to pull his head out of his bum! I wonder what makes him think that it's an outdated and irrelevant practice? I think it's never been more relevant to sit as a family to eat. We do it every night and it's great. Some of the random stuff that gets talked about makes for a really good meal together kwim?

[Phteven]

It's also a healthier way to eat. People are more aware of being full if they sit at a table instead of in front of the TV so it reduces overeating.

[nickle730]

We sit at the table most nights with the TV off. We play 'Best part of your day/worst part of your day' and everyone gets a chance to speak. It's a great way to get a peek inside the kids heads! Weekends we sometimes eat in front of the telly or have a 'Carpet Picnic' at the coffee table. The kids prefer to eat at the table or a carpet picnic, they enjoy spending the time together as a family.

My family was exactly the same when I was growing up. DH's family was heavily involved in sport and his dad worked late so he tells me they all used to eat separately and the meal was generally whatever they could grab.

[OceanPrincess]

It's also a healthier way to eat. People are more aware of being full if they sit at a table instead of in front of the TV so it reduces overeating.

Interesting!!

We sit at the table most nights. DH and I both insist on it. Family time. No tv, no iDevices, no phone. If DH's phone rings, he mostly ignores it, unless he's waiting for an important call (own business).

[belle75]

We have all our meals at the table as a family - no TV. Was the same growing up.

[~Hestia~]

I can't remember the last time we didn't sit at the table to eat dinner...would've been when Moo was a baby. We eat as a family when DH isn't working, when he is Moo and I still sit together and one of us always has breakfast with him. DH likes the telly on in the background and while it annoys me I let it go as he'd never see any news otherwise!

[shan23]

We dont. Its only DS & I 5 nights a week as DP is a chef so is at work. We also dont have room for a table & chairs, so we eat in the lounge room. DS eats earlier than us around 5.30pm (we are late eaters, 8pm onwards late (habits formed from working in hospitality for years, we just arent hungry earlier on), so I sit down with him (he in his highchair sitting in front of me) and have a snack with him while he eats. The days DP is at work the TV is off, its usually on when he is home as he is watching it.
We done a bit of both growing up, it wasnt a hard and fast rule to eat together every dinner time. DP I assume has always eaten with family around the tv, its what they done when I started dating him and went over for dinner, and we have always done before having DS.
When we eventually move though to a bigger house that has a dining room (or even just room in the kitchen for a table & chairs!), I'd like to eat all dinners at the table (or at least every meal when its just DS & I, at least 1 night when DP is home). DS loves watching us eat and reaching to steal our food, so it'd be easier to deal with that sitting at a table lol

[Amity]

Children who grow up eating meals as a family have better relationships with each other and with their parents when they grow up.

It reduces drug and alcohol use and assists in identifying mental health issues. It improves communication and discussion. It assists with education and personal development.

These are all verifiable advantages of eating meals together as a family. It is something we always did as children (my parents are both educators, my mother is a specialist in gifted and talented children and this is where I get the above information from). We never had a TV. My parents still don't have one in the house. In my family, I go out of my way to ensure that we eat together Monday to Thursday. Weekends are different, but during the week it is a "tradition" that I intend to continue.