Some of you might remember I posted in Nov about a friend of mine losing her 14 month old DS to pneumococcal meningitis. I told you that she had taken him to two different GPs as well as to the children's hospital twice in the week before he died.
I have just found out (as she wasn't up to discussing it earlier) is that she was actually convinced on the Wed that he had meningitis (he died on the Sat). She told the second GP that she thought he had it and was told she was being "silly". She also told the doctors at the hospital when she took him in due to a 40 degree fever and a swollen face that she believed it was meningitis. They wouldn't test as she couldn't say whether he had been exposed or not. She was treated like a neurotic mother, especially after they found out that she had found the list of meningitis symptoms on the internet. She wasn't believed when she told them that his face was swollen as it didn't appear abnormal. As she said, it just wasn't her son.
On Saturday (after being at the hospital thursday night) he passed away after suffering two seizures brought on by the temps and swelling in his brain.
I don't know where I'm going with this except to say that this information has affected me deeply. How often do mothers push aside their concerns/beliefs when confronted by "expert" advice. And now this mother will spend the rest of her life living in guilt that she should have "fought harder" (her words). My heart breaks for her every day.
That's so sad. I'm so sorry for your friends loss, and yours.
It's disgraceful that no one ever listens to mothers.
I think that a lot of little lives could have been saved had the "experts" listened to mothers instincts.
Believe it or not, most emergency workers are taught that it is the golden rule to trust a mothers instincts..... That won't bring this boy back tho . I am so very sad for this mother. We should always trust ourselves and as emergency workers, we should trust mammas. I used to tell mums if they got to the carpark and something made them worry, they should turn around and come back, because we believed that a mothers instincts should be trusted.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk..... I'm probably feeding my cherub
I am so sorry to read this but it is very close to my heart. DS was suffering similar symptoms and I took him back to the hospital three times. They attempted an iv 7 times before finally giving him a shot of antibiotics in his bum. His temp improved within hrs. The pead looked at him the next day and said he suspected meningitis but chest X-rays from emergency showed pnomenia (sp?) also. It really was only because of one dr (on my third visit) that said lets just do an X-ray on his chest that got us admitted and treated. The rash that quickly covered his body (and did not fade with pressure) did not concern anyone other than the pead who didn't see him till the following day. I am so sorry your friend was let down by the health system. I fear it fails many. Sending strength and love
I took DS to the GP last week because I was worried that he seems so upset all the time. Sounds silly now but I couldn't ignore my instinct to have him checked. I told my lovely dr that I wanted to rule out anything medical before I attempted any kind of tough parenting. His results were clear, as I suspected. But not once was I made to feel stupid. The dr simply said if I was concerned that was enough for him.
On the flip side., when I presented to the ED with DS when he was 7mths old, I was treated like an idiot. My themometer is not the best, and I struggled to keep it in place long enough to get an accurate read. When it went up to 38.5 and was still rising slowly, I became worried. DS then power spewed like I've never seen, and was lethargic and floppy, as well as very pale. "We don't get excited over a fever under 39". I was told. I've never been more enraged. We were shoved in a room and made to force feed DS water to get a urine sample. We were left holding a cup, and our semi-naked son in a cold.room.for hours. When I saw that DS was improving, I told them I was leaving, and thanked them for.nothing. Yet again, a hospital leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.
Sorry for rambling, I get so upset when I hear of mums being disrespected by medical personel. Whether it's before birth, during birth, or anytime at all, really. Bit of a sensitive issue for me.
My heart aches for her loss. I hope she gets her vengeance.
Oh Glenny, i only just saw this. That is so tragic.....And how could you ever move on as a mother from that. Its bad enough when there is nothing that could have been done, but when you fight and no one listens. The guilt must be terrible.
Dumb question but how is your friend doing? How does she cope with you and DD? Your pregnancy must be hard for her too.....Its all just so messed up
Hugs to you, i am so sorry this has touched your life!
Tegam,
She's a mess as you would expect. She and her husband are seeing counsellors each week. They go together and they both have individual sessions as well. They're both back at work now and she says that helps but coming home is hard and the weekends are horrible!!
She's beautiful with Katie. She didn't come to dd's birthday (I wasn't surprised) but she did email asking for photos.
I found it hard to tell her I was pregnant. I was actually 14 weeks pregnant at his funeral and I hadn't told her yet. I was worried that she would see the bump but in retrospect, I should have anticipated that she wasn't seeing anything that day!! I finally told her when I was about 18 weeks and she has been so excited.
She is an amazing mummy and such a strong woman! She is talking about having another child in the future sometime and I think it's amazing that she can be so positive. She's just a beautiful person!!
When Dd2 was ill with meningitis we were told by the staff at the surgery if we were not happy leaving to just sit in the waiting room. I am so thankful for that advice as this is the reason she is alive.
Many Dr's never see a case of meningitis, this was from the Dr himself, so don't really know what to look for and not every one has the same symptoms, she didn't get the rash. It was only until another Dr came on duty did he suspect meningitis as he has seen his firsst case earlier that month.
I am so sorry that this Mum was not listened to because as a parent you know your child far better than anyone.
I hope when she is able that she will write a letter to all concerned letting them know that she was not listened to as a mother and her concerns were dismissed.
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Trust your instincts Mummas!!
.
. I am so very sad for this mother. We should always trust ourselves and as emergency workers, we should trust mammas. I used to tell mums if they got to the carpark and something made them worry, they should turn around and come back, because we believed that a mothers instincts should be trusted.
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