Adorning girls

[onthefly]

If you have a daughter, do you feel it necessary to make her look pretty?
If you have sons as well, do you do the same for them?

If so (or not), why?

I have almost zero interest in my appearance, as anyone who's ever met me can attest, and I think I will die if my daughter grows up interested in fashion and stuff like that. my god, what if she wants to wear makeup!!!?? What if my son wants to?
I felt no pressure to make DS look "good", but with DD I detect - so far subtle - pressure to ensure she is pretty. I hate that. I don't ever want my kids to feel defined by the way they look. I also just cannot be arsed with things like that.

I'm not alone in eschewing those girly headbands - so noone thinks your baby is a boy - and dressing my daughter in her brother's hand-me-downs (yep, she gets called he all the time) am I?

[Cranky Kitten]

Nah, not alone. I never put one of those silly headbands on my DD either, and often would dress her in whatever muck-around clothes I could lay hands on. At least until she was 2 and started expressing a preference for frilly dresses. Usually coupled with gumboots to jump in puddles and play in the mud though.

I do however like the boys stuff I've got for DS. Mostly because it's brightly coloured and practical. I really really don't like those soft pastel baby blues and pinks and rarely ever put them on my babies even when I've got them.

[beansbeans!]

i dont dress my girls so they look pretty but I dress them so they are comfortable.

When DD1 was a baby, I remember having a conversation with one of dh's friends who had 2 girls. He said that he loved that he had 2 'high maintance' girls because it meant that when they got to the dating age, the boy or man who falls for them wil be in love for real....
That comment has stayed with me. But not only do I want them to be comfortable in their own bodies I want them to use their brains and demand the best for themselves. And now that Ive lost my train of thought Ill have to come back later.
Yes I do feel pressure to dress them pretty, to make them fit in...

btw,, I can assure that Im similar to you in the interest in looks and makeup thing,

[Kazzo]

My girls can pick whatever they want to wear, I just sometimes have to add something or take something else with me depending on the weather. I don't care how their choice works. While I do like to have a certian neatness about myself, I don't put a lot of energy into it. I don't wear makeup and on the few occasions I have put a bit on, DD1 has not noticed or shown any interest.

[Calluna]

I have no desire to make DS look "pretty" or "good", but he is always presentable. Starts the day looking tidy (doesn't last long though LOL).
I love looking at all the little girly clothes though, so if we ever have a little girl things may be different.

I'm in no way "girly", but I try to look presentable and make sure my clothes match and my hair is brushed before leaving the house.

Eta: someone mentioned comfort- that is the #1 reason I pick things. Quality is next, then looks.
I don't feel any pressure at all. Never really cared what people think about my appearance so I guess that has transferred to DS too.

[HotI]

I like my kids to look clean and dressed nicely when we go out. My DD is only 2, but many of her clothes came from the boys section at the shop because they were warmer and had funkier colours than what was available in the girls section. i like making them clothes, because i like more variety in colours and design than i get in mainstream shops. DD is often called he, mainly because she is not dressed in pink (i think).

i have tried getting her to wear hair clips to hold her back while it grows, but she isn't keen.

bbl

[Trillian]

I"m with you on the headband front!! I can't stand them! I don't see babies and think "oh yuck" or anything like that, I just don't like them - they are a PITA and I just don't see the point in them? Or maybe I'm missing the point of them? But I would put their hair up as soon as it was long enough just so it would stay out of their eyes and face - my girls have really thin hair that always looked ratty and wispy so it was better if it was kept up.

Its never really been an issue for us though. The girls haven't even asked to get their ears done, but they have asked why I don't have mine done. I used to, in fact I used to have 4 in each ear but pulled 3 pairs out when I was 15 and I pulled the remaining pair out and let the holes close over a few years ago after a got a nasty infection that made the whole side of my face swell up.

I agree on it all being too ****ing hard. I'm not dreading having girls that are into that type of thing, but just that doing all this stuf can be so hard to maintain. Heck, I don't even shave anything anymore because I don't think I should *have* to fit in and look a certain way just because I'm a woman.

[MummaBee]

MMMMM interesting thread
I guess I do feel the need to brush my sons hair in the morning and wash his face after he brushes his teeth in the morning and honestly I had never thought it was to make him look pretty but I suppose some people might look at it that way.
Every day I myself was taught to do my hair/makeup and wash my face so I guess it was something I was passed down, and now I am doing it hehehe.
but in saying that I'm not super uptight or anything he's welcome to play in the mud and get messy
As for my little girl she has no hair so nothing going on there but when she does I cant wait to do it, and will try to most days as I had done for myself as a child

I guess I feel I am defined as a person by the way I look as i put on makeup and dye my regrowth often, but I dont feel I judge anyone who doesn't do those things I just feel more confident when I do those things in myself.

[Phteven]

I love fashion. Not as in dressing in the same outfit as everyone else and trying to keep up with the latest 'style' but the costume aspect of it. Being able to be ghetto today and prissy princess tomorrow kinda thing.
So I love to dress my boys but as they get older they don't always play along and that's ok. DS2 likes to wear his wizard clothes to the shops and has been known to demand to wear a tie to school so I think he likes clothes too.

I like dressing DH too but thus far he has resisted my attempts to get him into a pale suit....

[onthefly]

Grah! Woman power Trill!

I don't mean to say there's anything particularly wrong with being nicely presented, btw. I can appreciate the art behind the perfectly presented person - though I tend to just think "wow, that must take a long time."

[Novella]

I love buying girly clothes for my girls, I enjoy it. Maybe it is superficial but meh I dont think Im hurting anyone, they need clothes and I like buying pretyy things when I get them clothes.

My girls have a mix of trackies and daggy cheapo tshirts and nice jeans/ tops/skirts that match. I will not buy my girls something that is pretty if I think it is going to be uncomfertable or that is going to limit what activities they can do (I dont get long dressesfor thid reason). Most days my girls pick their own clothes and while their idea of what goes well together generally does not match mine I let them go or it unless it is inappropriate to the weather. I also dont like them wearing their best clothes outside if they are painting or playing in the mud as they have plenty of other clothes to chose from.

I dont like kids wearing jewelery as I think a lot of the time therer are safety issues with necklaces etc getting caught or being a choking hazard but I do buy sparkly hair ties and my girls like these (possibly because I am setting an example of things that I Find nice)

I really dont spend much time on the girls hair though. I brush it and pull it back in a pony tail. I look at the hair styles on other children and I know there would be tears and tantrums from all of us if I tried to do anything like it!

[~~Snoogans~~]

Nope!

Have no intentions on making my girls dress to *make them look pretty*...truth is, they are STUNNING as they are (hehehehehehe had to add that, you know, the whole proud mama thing!)

Miss H currently wears a lot of cargo pants and t-shirts. She will occasionally request to wear a dress...with tights underneath, and possibly sketchers to finish it off! if not her gumboots!

Miss Z wears cute lil clips in her hair, but that is because, even after a haircut, her fringe still gets in her eyes! So it's more of a necessity than an adornment!

I shudder at the thought that one day they may turn into lil * princesses* ! I have no idea how to deal with princesses! seriously...NFI!

[PumpkinZulu]

Ehhh, yes and no. I take pride in my appearance (mostly) and I do for DD too. That doesn't mean necessarily conforming to what's conventionally seen as pretty; just that DD is presented nicely, as in, clean clothes, clean face etc. I enjoy makeup and hair and clothes, but I'd just as readily go out with crazy, unstraightened hair, no makeup and trackies. I like to put DD in 'girly' things, like pink and such, and have just started putting a hair clip in her hair. But the there are days like today, where she wore a novelty 'Happy Turtle, Cairns 2012' onesie, and brown pants I don't put bracelets etc on her, the only jewellery she wears is her teething necklace.

[briggsy's girl]

i don't dress all girly girly, but i do take care to make sure i'm wearing "nice" clothes. i guess being a larger lady, i tend to think i can either dress nicely, or i can get the "walmart" label. we do come from a low socioeconomic area, and i guess i don't like to be "one of those" people that lives in trackies and jumper, with moccies, going down the street

as a result of my own expectations of myself, that i dress nicely to go out, i do the same with DD. She has her home clothes that can, and do, get trashed - and she has her "good" clothes. her good clothes may only be a pair of jeans and a nice jumper (hand knitted etc) as opposed to the trackies she kicks around in at home - and a nice clean(er) pair of shoes. she has her hair brushed and tied up rather than a curly ratty mess when we go out

when she was little, i'd dress her in her "pretty" clothes to go out, so that she actually got to wear them and show them off - people bought them as gifts and i'd hate to think she never used them! now, she gets the choice of her clothes (as long as her choice is weather/outing appropriate), how she wants her hair done, and whether she wants clips etc. we have clear hair ties - any extra adornment is her choice. she has jewellery that she has been given as gifts (two bracelets) and she only gets them on if she asks. she used to wear one all the time cos it was a gift for her first birthday, but it got broken. she generally asks to wear them if i am wearing mine.

i don't "do" make up very often, but sometimes i do (i think i have three times this year lol) - and if she asks to wear some, i put a light bit of eye shadow and clear lipgloss on her (cos that's all i wear lol).

[Trillian]

Grah! Woman power Trill!

I don't mean to say there's anything particularly wrong with being nicely presented, btw. I can appreciate the art behind the perfectly presented person - though I tend to just think "wow, that must take a long time."

Yeah, I think there is a difference between making them look nice and presentable and going way OTT on the body maintenance. My girls have loads of those curly ribbon hairbands and clips and I think they look nice - they have school colour ones and ones in our footy club colours that they wear when they play netball and it does look nice, but that's as far as it goes - their hair is only ever pulled back into a ponytail or plait, not blowdried and straightened like some of the girls do. It's like they take it that one step further - it's not enough just to pull your air back in a ponytail, it has to be dead straight or styled a certain way. And the boys don't care - I keep their hair cut short enough that they don't even need to comb it LOL.

[Nai]

I like my girls to be coordinated in what they wear but I also like it to be practical. Dd1 loves clothes but has her own style, which I sometimes cringe at but I let her wear what she wants, after all it isn't hurting anyone. Dd2 looks like she is goin to be similar, she has her own idea of what she prefers to wear.

[toomanyshoes]

I feel no pressure to dress DD "pretty" or DS "cool". I encourage them to define their own style, DD is quite at home wearing a dress as much as tracky daks and DS has a fondness for flennelet, as well as carrying my handbag for me.

I'm as open to DS wearing makeup as I am DD, when they are older.

I range from going all out with makeup and getting dressed to going out in "house" clothes and bare faced.

I don't feel pressure to dress any particular way I dress in what makes me happy, what puts a smile on my face and a spring in my step, don't care if it's "fashionable" acorrding to anyone else or not. And hopefully I can pass that on to my children.

[Jellyfish]

I enjoy fashion to an extent and do enjoy it through my girls but my girls often get called boys because my idea of fashion does not include pink and girly. For example I love sweater dresses at the moment but in navy and cream, grey or muted olive greens. It doesn't bother me what gender people think they are and I am happy for DD1 to dress herself which usually means she will wear blue with blue or yellow with yellow. I let her go to the park or the shops or speech therapy in costumes too and have to say, I think she does look adorable as 'Alice in Wonderland' but that doesn't mean I just focus on looks or anything! I think she is brave and helpful and intuitive too.

I don't wear makeup or anything but I do like wearing things that suit my figure and put a little thought into things. I actually went looking for my makeup today as we were going to lunch with some of DP's highschool friends and didn't want to drag him down too much, he told me not to bother and in the end I didn't because I couldn't find it haha... guess I don't even own makeup anymore.

I have personally never felt any pressure to make my girls look 'girly' or 'pretty'. I think comfort and practicality (toilet training, nappies, knee coverage for crawling etc) are the most important in the end for me. Availability comes next as we get most things second hand.