Baby showers with no kids.... thoughts?

[BrightSparkles]

I didn't want to hijack the other thread so started a new one.....

I have been invited to a baby shower at the end of the month where. There are a few things not sitting right with me and wanted to know your thoughts.

First: The invite went out by FB. Ok whatever, this appears to be the normal thing to do these days. Invite states "NO KIDS". First thought was ok, your party, whatever, but since it was sent there has been other 3 reminders that this baby shower "NO KIDS" are allowed.

Second: I would usually offer to make something to take, just who I am. This person though commented on something i put on FB that "you can make them for my baby shower except it has to be gluten free. Everyone is making something". No asking, just told, thats what I can make. Is it just me, or is that just rude? To be told and not asked if I can make them? (FYI - What I made wasn't gluten free...)

Third: I KNOW people have guft registeries and thats fine, your choice but again. The invite was worded "i have a gift registery, it's all the things I want so please choose from here. Hmmm....me...I am like NO WAY! Not when you ask like that and don't give an option. And FYI I can't afford what you have on there.

So, Im not going to go, because I feel so uncomfortable with the lead up to it and how she has gone about it (and I don't really want to hear the first time mum telling me that i'm not raising my kids right because i didn't do xy and z)

So, what are your thoughts.... am I the only one who finds this weird/rude?

[nothing2lose]

Yep. Weird and rude. I wouldn't go either.

[Traveller]

I wouldn't be surprised if she had a low attendance, seems quite abrupt and rude.

[LionsandBears]

I don't necessarily think the concepts are out of line, but the way she's put it is rude.

Personally, if I invite people to something then I provide the food. If it's a 'bring a plate' kind of thing and there are dietary requirements, that's fine, but it's nice to be asked. All those things should be included in the invitation.

we had a gift registry for our wedding, as that way we could help people choose things we would like. There were some people who couldn't use websites, so they bought us something else, which we were also happy with. Gifts are a nice to have, not a must have. Saying that, I can understand people not wanting 100 of the same thing, but, as with all registries, there should be items at different price points to meet different budgets.

maybe if she was a close friend, you could talk about how it has been handled. Some people don't have great social skills. If she's just a self-absorbed cow though, then no, I wouldn't go either. Life is too short to accept being treated badly.

[myturn]

yep, I agree... weird....

but.... apparently "people are weird..."

someone should have told me that before I went to university for six years to try and figure them out....

...nope... still don't get them....

[BrightSparkles]

yep, I agree... weird....

but.... apparently "people are weird..."

someone should have told me that before I went to university for six years to try and figure them out....

...nope... still don't get them....

I'm always told i'm weird lol

Shes not an overly close friend so i'll just end up leaving it. I wouldn't say shes self absorbed, more so thinks that because shes read all thebooks she now knows everything about having/raising a baby and has no qualms in telling people that they have done it all wrong because it doesn't follow what a book says.
Not to mention, DH won't be around to have the girls so that kinda makes the decision a little easier lol

[Joeve]

I totally wouldn't go rude all around !

[littlelara]

Has she always been this way? Only I totally lost any capacity for editing when I was pg

[Sunny Love]

Ignore her invite! Or, as I would do, get something that is not on the registry and take a bottle of plonk to enjoy yourself with! ;P

[AliBaby]

I wouldnt go either hun.

She sounds like she is a pregnant version of bridezilla!

[Amy_jellybean]

Haha this is interesting considering I have just ordered the invites for my baby shower.

First of all I think the Facebook invite is tacky! For a bbq or catch up - yes, for a baby shower - no.

I dont think asking for no kids is being rude personally but there is a way to word it. I have just put on my invites:

Please note - to keep the atmosphere casual and relaxed please let your children have a daddy and me day. We are sure you will enjoy the break as well!!!

For some people this may come across rude but I have a few friends who have kids that are absolute brats and I know that unless I specifically put something about no kids on there then they will bring them.

In terms of a the gift registery, my friend suggested that I have one but I didnt feel confortable. I dont like people feeling pushed into buying something off of there. Everyone has a different budget and i'm having a baby shower to spend time with my friends, not so I can expect gifts. I am seriously organised and have bought pretty much everything I want for bub already so I have put RSVP's and gift idea's to: ******
That way if people want suggestions on what I need or want then they can find out.

As for the bring a plate thing - downright rude!

[BrightSparkles]

I can't remember her ever being like it.
As for the kids thing, it wouldn't have worried me if she wanted no kids, we had and kids wedding, however the way she has worded it and constant reminders on fb that its kid free irks me.
The food thing, I'm glad it not just me. I normally offer but to be told...there's ways to ask.
As for the gifts, like I said, if people want registered, fine, but rather than having all expensive things have things for a range of budgets.

[PumpkinZulu]

Very weird way to word things! She'll realise she hasn't got it all going on soon enough, sounds like she REALLY likes to be in control, one of the first things I learned when I actually became a parent was that you need to relinquish control quite often.

I don't have a problem with bring a plate or FB invites. Maybe I'm just tacky and rude by nature

[Amy_jellybean]

I was more relating the bring a plate to :

"here is my registery list and can you bring xyz on a plate".

Not so much if the person offers to bring a plate....

[PumpkinZulu]

Yeah I agree, you can't really stipulate that sort of thing. Like, you're asking people to come to you, buy expensive gifts off a registry for you AND bring exactly what you say? Okaaaaay...

[Nai]

I have no issue with any of it but the way she has gone about it is rude IMO. I like it when there is a group gift that I can contribute to so that something big or more expensive can be given.

I would just RSVP saying that sorry hubby is away so you have to be looking after the kids and hence won't be able to make it. Perfect reason for not attending.

[Meercat]

Like others have said, what she is asking isn't really rude but her way of saying it is ruuuuuude!

I am having a gluten free baby shower. My dd is the only child attending because she is hosting with me and she has Coeliacs. I simply told people I am providing a picnic and then I will handle the food requirements. I would never demand someone provide gluten free for a party I invited them too! It is expensive and fiddly ... And it really isn't anyone's problem but mine you know?

I don't like gift registries. I refuse to pick a gift from them. It doesn't feel like a gift anymore if I have been sent to pick up exactly what they chose for themselves. Half the fun is choosing something special!!!

[surprised]

If the invite was via Facebook why not send a present via Facebook? Something from FarmVille or that bedazzled game?