thread: Disowning your child (VENT)

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Geelong
    3,438

    Disowning your child (VENT)

    My nephew 21, was disowned by his parents about 2 years ago, it just breaks my heart and I just don't understand how it could be done. They have missed out on his engagement, 21st and just everyday things. My nephew had his 21st party on the weekend and we were his only family there, DH said the most beautiful speech but it should have been his dad standing up there proud of his son. The only contact he has with his younger brother is via facebook and mobile, just breaks my heart but at the same time I feel so angry towards my BIL and SIL, just don't get it .

    Regards,
    Dianne

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    8,986

    That is quite sad. Why have they disowned him?

    My cousin was shunned by his parents for religious reasons. I could never understand it, and still don't understand how you could totally ignore your child's existence.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Geelong
    3,438

    Originally it was all over the engagement party, his parents wanted the party here in Geelong but it was held in Melbourne and they told him if it wasn't in Geelong he was no longer part of the family. There has to be more to it, SIL has a drinking problem and does crazy stuff, who knows really what's going on.

    Regards,
    Dianne

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    8,986

    That's quite petty

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    On the other side of this screen!!!
    11,129

    Dianne, I've been disowned by my mother more times than I care to remember. It's a good sign that your nephew's home environment was a toxic place for him to be, and, as painful as it is now, he's probably better off without that sort of abuse in his life. Yes it is sad but his parents have made it clear that they are not up to the task of loving him unconditionally. Hopefully he can stand tall and his courage will attract other caring adults into his life.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    country victoria
    1,055

    Agree that is a really petty reason. So glad your nephew has you sed your husband in his life

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Geelong
    3,438

    Marydean he is such a loving, caring and mature young man, you are so right, as sad as it is he is probably better off without them.

    Regards,
    Dianne

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    Home with my Son :)
    2,611

    That's so very sad. I'm glad he has you and your DH.

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Add Butterfly Dawn on Facebook

    Aug 2008
    Climbing Mt foldmore
    2,894

    I also think it sounds like he is better off with out that toxic environment. it doesn't mean that it makes it hurt any less.
    I too don't understand how u could dis-own somebody.
    have you talked to him about it? he might be happy to have another family members point of view. some valuation that he's great and they have behaved not so great.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    That is very sad...

    It happens a lot...

    I know a teenager who has had a rough life, shes been a bit of a turd, putting it nicely, at 16 her mother sent her a message saying "not to contact her again, shes wasted 16years of her life on her and shes not going to waste anymore"

    Thats just how some people deal with things...

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Brisbane
    1,621

    That's very sad. He's lucky he's got you and your DH in his life.

    Sorry in advance for the coming comment, but his parents sound like complete idiots if that's the reason they've disowned him. Now, if he'd sold their house and valuables out from under their feet without their knowledge, I could possibly understand it. But not for a silly thing like the location of an engagement party.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    That's very sad. He's lucky he's got you and your DH in his life.

    Sorry in advance for the coming comment, but his parents sound like complete idiots if that's the reason they've disowned him. Now, if he'd sold their house and valuables out from under their feet without their knowledge, I could possibly understand it. But not for a silly thing like the location of an engagement party.
    I think that its very unfair to call them idoits... You don't know thats the only reason. Keyhole judging try not to do it...

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2008
    In snuggle land
    4,499

    Is this the same SIL who desecrated Emmanuel's grave? If so, I remember enough about previous posts to know they are awful people who are missing out on a relationship with a lovely young man.

    i'm glad he has you and your DH.

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Geelong
    3,438

    Yep, she's the one.

    Regards,
    Dianne

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Brisbane
    1,621

    I think that its very unfair to call them idoits... You don't know thats the only reason. Keyhole judging try not to do it...
    I did quantify my opinion by saying "if that was the reason" they disowned him. And I'm generally far from judgemental, but from what Dianne has said it sounds as though the parents have dealt her nephew a very raw deal.

    Apologies Di if I've caused offence by referring to your BIL and SIL in this manner.

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Geelong
    3,438

    No offence taken hun.

    Regards,
    Dianne