Waxing Vs Shaving - Young Girls

[Rouge]

Ok so up until recently I swore black and blue that when DD asked to shave I'd start taking her to get waxed. It's what all the older and wiser mums had said and done before me. I distinctly remember sneaking razors to shave my legs at 11/12 /13 because my parents wouldn't have a bar of the notion that hair removal was something I needed. So I figured waxing is better and I would do this too whenever she felt ready because I wanted to listen to her rather than her sneaking razors as I did.

This was until DH weighed in. As he does because heck it's his daughter too

DH "Why can't she just shave?"
ME"Because waxing is better for her."
DH "So you'd rather put her through pain for the sake of what exactly?"
ME "Because that's what others have done, it's better for her and I'll know that she's serious then."
DH "Right so put of those who went for waxing when they were younger... How many of those now shave?"
ME "Ahhhh all of them actually."
DH "Right so basically it's some morbid torturous right of passage just because they want hairless legs... But actually doesn't mean anything because they end up shaving anyway? Ok that makes total sense."

Yanno. I thought about it and he's right. Why exactly are mothers dead set on waxing and plucking their daughters instead of letting them shave like we do? What are we teaching them besides an unhealthy association between pain and grooming as a woman?

And before everyone jumps on me with the view that shaving is somehow anti feminism and teaching poor body appreciation please don't. I can shave my legs and still fight for women's rights thanks. I believe in allowing my daughter a choice in all aspects of life. I hope I can guide her as much as possible but as it stands she actually has an awesome load of self worth and appreciation for her own body. So in that department we're all good.

So that aside if you took your daughter to have her legs/underarms waxed instead of letting her shave, why? And I realise embarrassing body hair is different and if we had that situation we would wax too.

[Ms_Fi]

My eldest daughter has been having her legs/underarms waxed for the past 2 years (since she was 13). She's left handed and not at all coordinated so I wasn't prepared to take the risk of her cutting her legs/underarms badly.

She understood that the waxing would hurt to start with but she also understood that razor cuts hurt more!

We did have a problem finding a beautician that would wax her so young but the lady she uses is lovely and really good with her.

[Astrid]

Shallow reason for the girls to be shaving. $$$$. I cannot afford full waxing on a regular basis, so there is no way I could afford 3 of us.

Honestly I see no problem with shaving, the razors are so much better than what they where when I was a kid. Now that was a painful experience when one of those suckers knicked you!
As for the old argument that is toughens/thickens the hairs, well personally I think that is a load of rot. I know if I let myself get hairy and the hair has a chance to go through a full growth cycle, my legs look like they have never been shaved (hey I have fooled waxers)

I think though I will get them waxing for eyebrows and bikini line (over summer).

[RhiChiChi]

I dont shave, I wax and wish I had waxed when I was younger rather than start shaving then switch.
I would encourage my DDs to do what they want but go through all of the options and pros and con's of each. I don't know why some would push one way or the other, particularly if they don't use that method themselves.

[LionsandBears]

This isn't answering your question, but I'll share my experience. Mum bought me a razor when I was about 11/12. I shaved legs and underarms until I was about 18. Then I had my first wax and have been waxing for over 20 years now. I have a lot of body hair normally, so it took about a decade of waxing to thin it out.

Waxing hurts. I may be used to it, but it still hurts. That's something I choose to do for myself so I can go 3-5 weeks without stubble. I also pay about $130 every 6-8 weeks for this. It's expensive and it hurts.

I have also had IPL to reduce pubic hair. I am now trying to grow back some of the bush because I've changed my mind about a bald bikini line. I have been struggling to grow back overplucked eyebrows for about 5 years.

My opinion based on my experience is, buy her a razor, show her how to use it properly and let her try waxing in her own time and when she can pay for it. Teach her not to overpluck her eyebrows. If she wants to shave everything off, it's her body, her choice. I'd just leave the waxing until later.

[AnyDream]

I've never had my legs/pits/ladybits waxed and so I've never considered that it might be "the thing to do". I've never done it because it appears to be a) painful b) time consuming (in that you have to make appts & wait, etc) and also c) expensive. I'm just not sure the benefits outweigh the costs.

On the other hand, I had reservations on letting my still-young-in-many-ways DD loose with a razor blade or chemical depilatories, so I took the middle route and offered her a battery shaver. It's fully in her control how frequent/infrequently she shaves and the injury factor is nil. She hasn't complained or asked to do any differently so I'm guessing its sufficient to her needs?

[Rouge]

That's what we are doing MD we are giving her an electric razor. Sorry I should have clarified.

And I've asked her what she wanted to do and waxing is something she doesn't want to do nice offered epilady too. Again she would rather shave.

[Astrid]

An electric razor never crossed my mind!

I could always sent the girls off on a waxing course, that way they can wax each other.

[TeniBear]

I distinctly remember sneaking razors to shave my legs at 11/12 /13 because my parents wouldn't have a bar of the notion that hair removal was something I needed. So I figured waxing is better and I would do this too whenever she felt ready because I wanted to listen to her rather than her sneaking razors as I did.

The thing with this though, is that your DD wouldn't be sneaking razors like you did. She wouldn't need to, because you do know that hair removal can be important and you're offering her ways to do it. She's choosing her own way of doing it rather than being forced into either waxing or sneaking around.

I never really had this problem, as soon as I thought I needed to start shaving my underarms my mum taught me how and that was it. I didn't start on my legs for a long time and even now I go for months without doing them (admittedly my legs are one of the few places the hair grows very slowly so I don't need to do them often.) I had my legs waxed about a month and a half ago because I wanted to help my cousin out with her beauty therapy course, but I'm not fussed about that happening again. I'll get her to do them again if I want another wax, otherwise it's back to shaving for me in a couple of months I've never waxed anywhere other than my legs (twice), eyebrows (twice and never again), and lip (same time as my last leg wax). I think underarm waxing sounds torturous but each to their own!

I'd probably encourage Amelia to go for shaving when the time comes, but if she wants to be waxed so be it. I'm not sure I'd be happy with paying for it every however-long-it's-supposed-to-be-between-waxes, but I suppose she could always go to my cousin

[Tinks]

Last Christmas we got DD an epilator, it's also converts to a shaver so she has the best of both worlds. She prefers shaving with a razor though.

[Phteven]

My cousin got waxed instead of shaving and her leg hair has never ended up thick and gorilla like like mine. It's soft and downy not *****ly.
On the flip side it can cause ingrowns which can cause scaring.

If she knows the pros and cons and wants to shave then I would be inclined to say her body, her choice.

[PumpkinZulu]

My mum was a beauty therapist and did my waxing (eyebrows, bikini line, legs, underarm, upper lip) from when I was about 13. She's very anti shaving, shaved all through her early 20's and is on the shaving-causes-thick-hair camp. Now, after waxing for about 30 years, she hardly grows hair on her legs or underarms at all. No idea if a 50+ year old woman who shaved would be the same. For me, waxing didn't work. I'm very hairy, with pale skin and dark hair. I waxed until I was 17, because my mum wouldn't allow shaving. The hair would start to grow back after 2 days, and would be very noticeable after 4 days...and the hair wouldn't be long enough to wax again until 1.5 weeks. So in the summer I'd have a very small amount of time hair free. Shaving is easier for me, I can shave every day. If I shave in the morning, by the next morning it's grown enough that you can see it. I remember sneaking my first razor and not knowing what to do and cutting my legs up something awful. Honestly, I think I'll just let my girls shave. It can be their choice. If they want to wax, I can teach them to do their own waxing (I do my own eyebrows, and can do my own legs, underarms and bikini line). It's very inexpensive to do your own waxing at home. I'll probably encourage DD1 to hold off on her legs for a bit, because she's blonde and has blonde fine hair on her legs, she probably won't need toad much as DD2, who is dark haired and very hairy.

[Floweryfields]

You can't deny your daughters the 'cut a chunk of skin off your ankle' right of passage surely lol. Seriously, I've never had a professional wax and only not very positive home experiences so mostly shave. I think shaving is a sensible option for starting off.

[Heaven]

I'm with your DH. My Mum made me get my legs waxed the first time and it HURT! I never did it again. I would just tell her the pro's and con's of both and let her choose

[MissM]

Lol. This was me! I was adamant it was better for DD to wax. She done it once. Now she shaves (we only started this year) and shaves every 3 months. DD's argument is its quicker & easier lol.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Started with battery shaver, progressed to razors. Had shadow by noontime. Started waxing and epilating in my late teens and never looked back.

I may have a high pain threashold, but the only time it hurt was one drunken home wax (lesson learnt when I removed a lot of skin too!) and a full bikini wax. I wish I could afford regular waxing as it's so relaxing. Instead I epilate at home.

Shaving: thick dark hairs
Epilating: leg hair of a normal 9yo. Not my hirsuite 9yo legs.

[Rouge]

Thanks guys.

See I'm not sold on the plucking is better thing. My hairs are not much different to DD's now. And haven't changed much since I started shaving. Yet nasty hairs I've pulled out always grow back black and thick.

I remember a gf of mine told
Me that her mother was a nurse and wore pantyhose constantly and this caused her hairs not to grow back as they rubbed off. I'm not sure on that one either!

[Tinks]

I remember a gf of mine told
Me that her mother was a nurse and wore pantyhose constantly and this caused her hairs not to grow back as they rubbed off. I'm not sure on that one either!

I have no hair on the backs of my legs because my pants rub on them, so she could be telling the truth.