Scared do go through ivf

[Niksterx]

My partner and I have been trying to concieve since 2010.. (I was 20 and my partner 22)
In 2010 my partner had to undergo surgery to have a testicle removed as it had twisted, after his surgery we made the decision to try for a baby as it was abit of a scare for both of us.. however a year later we still hadnt concieved and decided to see a doctor who did a sperm analysis and we were told that my partner had 0% sperm activity.. we were both devestated and it almost tore us apart.. thankfully we fought to keep our relationship strong and in 2012 we finally we to a fertility clinic where we both had tests to find out what the problem was..

My partner underwent a Pesa/Tesa and the phone call we received the next day was the best phone call ever as they had gotten 8 samples of sperm!! We could finally see ourselves having a future with children..

However this is where it gets really hard for me... I am perfectly healthy and able yo undergo ivf.. but I am so scared about going through it that I get very stressed and anxious and I start to have panic attacks every time we decide on a time and date to start the ivf process..

I feel very lost and scared and I dont know what I am supposed to do...

This might sound very selfish but it also worries me about the amouny of money that all this ivf it going to cost us... like what if it doesnt work the 1st time and thats $5000 just gone....

I talk too my partner about how I feel.. and he fully understands and has suggested that maybe we shouldnt have children if its all to hard.. but I just dont know

I know we are still only young (me 23 and my partner 25) ..but this is her hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with so far in life...

Any opinions would be greatly appreciated....

Thank you

[myturn]

It is really scary doings something new. And you are right, it could be a waste of money if it doesn't work first time. But I guess you have to decide if you really want to have children, because this might be the only way. For me,I desperately want to be a mum. So I will keep trying until it happens. I do see a psychologist to chat about how I am feeling about everything and that really helps.
There are cheaper options you can consider too. I think the royal women's in Melbourne is the public IVF... But of course it depends where you are.

There are other younger people in here who have done IVF, and its worth it!! In fact you have a really good chance of success because you are young. Use BB as a support.. It keeps me sane!

Its scary at first becaue its all new, but it isn't so bad, and you can do it. We will be here every step of the way to reassure you.

LTTTC sucks so it makes sense you are scared

[Lily Dust]

Hi Niksterx!

DH and I started IVF at 21 and it was so scary! In the end none of it was nearly as bad as I expected it to be. Yes, it is very expensive (more so now than when we were going through it) but like myturn said it could be a waste of money but it could be the best thing you have ever put your money too as well

I guess if you decide not to try are you always going to wonder what if? Don't put your age on it hun, being 23 doesn't mean you want a baby any less that someone who is 43

There are alternatives that are cheaper but also don't necessarily have the same statistical success rate- doesn't mean it isn't for you though.

Best of luck! Hope to see you around here more in the future

[DizzyLizzie]

Hi Niksterx,

My DH and I are doing IVF with donor sperm at the moment because of our severe male factor infertility issues. We wanted children so badly that, when this became our only option, we dived into the process without hesitation. Like the docs said to me, your odds should be good because you are young and healthy and have no fertility issues yourself.

This is our second round of IVF. I did a cycle back when DH had his surgical sperm retrieval because they knew that they would not find enough to freeze but gave us a 20% chance of finding one or two lame ones. They didn't find a single sperm so now we are onto plan B (donor sperm) and IVF cycle 2. I don't regret spending money on the initial cycle because I know that my DH will always know that we did everything possible to try to have his biological child.

The actual physical process of IVF is really not that bad. I have found it all relatively pain free and easy to fit in around my work. The science is pretty amazing and so far I’ve mostly managed to enjoy the excitement of the journey. That said, it is very emotional – the high points are awesome and the low points are utterly draining. I’m having my pregnancy test on Friday so hoping that will be a high point!

If you go for it, either you will succeed and it will all be worthwhile or you’ll always know that at least you exhausted all options.

Good luck!!