Reply With QuoteOh my gosh, 9 months already. Well done. You still have a lovely BF road ahead of you so big fat raspberries to anyone who would wish that away from you. Your bubba your choice.
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Those comments...
We are just a few weeks short of bfing for 9 months and I'm finding myself defending my choice to keep feeding my DD.
I'm not righteous about it, I'm actually almost feeling like I am apologetically justifying it. (not sure that's the exact right way to say it)
I aimed for 6 months and am stoked to be almost at 9 months and I'm setting my next goal for 12 months but.... I'm getting those comments
"oh can I only mind her for 4 hours seems like a short visit" - from family
"have you tried just dropping her feeds"
" formula is just as good..."
I'm all for doing whatever works, I'm not against formula at all I used it to comp feed the first week if DDs life but I just needed to write down that I'm feeling pressured to stop feeding. I know I shouldn't care, I know it's natural, I know I'm doing the right thing for us I just wonder why people think it's of major concern to them that I'm still feeding a 9 month old baby!
Ok I feel better just blurting that out
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Oh my gosh, 9 months already. Well done. You still have a lovely BF road ahead of you so big fat raspberries to anyone who would wish that away from you. Your bubba your choice.
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*Hugs* I can't believe your family is being so unsupportive! Whether you're feeding or not, four hours is a lot for many parents to be away from their little ones....and a lot for them to be away from you. Can you politely tell them that their comments make you feel defensive and you'd like them to stop?
As for the other comments, pffft! Do what feels right for you and don't feel like you have to justify it to anyone. You know the benefits, you know why you've chosen to do it for this long and you know your options in regards to cutting back or swapping to formula. Your body, your child, your choice!
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Ive never understood why ppl start wanting babies weaned before they are even 1! I mean if you need to wean them onto a breast milk substitute, designed for those who (for whatever reason) don't have access to breast milk, then isnt it logical to keep using breast milk if you do have it and its going well for you?
last night my sil saw me tandem feed the twins (8 months) for the first time ever and said it was the weirdest thing she'd ever seen in her life!
Some ppl are just unable to fully think before talking I think.
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you have done a great job..
I get asked if im going to put her on normal milk at one.. umm normal milk? so you want me to stop giving her milk made by me for her to give her milk made by cows which is technically made for calf's?
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I've learned to just smile and say that what I'm doing works well for me, thanks. Kill 'em with kindness and all that.
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It was when my DD was around that age that i started to feel the odd one out at mother's group. I didn't get that many comments, but still felt i had to justify or explain why we were doing what we were doing. I then got in contact with my local ABA group, and it was like a breath of fresh air to just see breastfeeding as normal, and part of life. Do you have any real life contacts you can meet up with when you need a boost to remind you of the reasons you do what you do?
Also, Yay for you to reaching your goals, and setting more!
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It is unfortunate that when you have your first, everybody is ready to pounce on that vulnerability and push their own ideas and agenda. Now that I'm 22mo (22mo??? how did that happen??) into feeding my second and armed with confidence and knowledge, I have no-one to use it on, no-one is saying anything!
I second surrounding yourself with others, the more you do it and see it, the more ridiculous anyone suggesting you should stop will seem. When people questioned me before 12mo, I'd just kind of gawk and be like oh, no I'm way too lazy to start worrying about cleaning and mixing and heating and carrying bottles now. After 12mo I transitioned my lazy reasoning onto how quick and simple settling, fixing booboos and tantrums was and ensuring a balanced diet with zero fussing. If you turn it on yourself like that, no-one can argue plus you get some publicity for those benefits of breastfeeding lol.
It sucks though, I still remember one cousin saying that at some point it starts to border on pedophilia. I was so shocked, I mean how do you even start to dissect that? The only opinions of any real weight is yours and your daughters and I'm sure she is showing you loud and clear what she thinks should be happening
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I like that the WHO recommendations are for two years. That's what my sister, currently bfing her first DD who's 17 mths, uses. Everybody gave up making any opinion known to me ages ago. I'm the token hippie who bf for four years.
On a positive front, you probably aren't aware of the great influence you and your DD are having on those around you, including your own family. I personally found I had several friends and both sisters come to me for bfing support/advice because they trusted me. Of these, at least four bf (or are still bfing) toddlers beyond when they thought they would, or did for previous children. I don't for a moment think that's because I bf, but it helped them reconsider their own expectations and bfing goals, just seeing an alternative. One of these friends is a GP too and I know it will make a difference to many mothers she sees that she is positive about bfing beyond infancy.
Well done to you on 9 mths!
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Hmmm. I'm not sure too many mothers would be sexually excited by pinching, scratching, biting, toddler gymnastics, and such like that goes on while feeding a toddler!
It sucks though, I still remember one cousin saying that at some point it starts to border on pedophilia. I was so shocked, I mean how do you even start to dissect that? The only opinions of any real weight is yours and your daughters and I'm sure she is showing you loud and clear what she thinks should be happeningI hope you told her where to go Jellyfish!
Congrats on 9 months! My response was just to smile and nod and let it wash over me. I have an excellent selective memory. I know people made comments but I can't say I remember too many of them because I stopped listening once I realised what they were about to say.
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
Nice work!
Do you know many people who breastfeed? Being in the company of people for whom it's normal is really, really helpful when you're faced with this sort of attitude.
Stick with it, you're doing great
Moderator
I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I'm sad that there are still people who find breastfeeding weird. I'm pleased that there are places where you can 'blurt it out' and feel a bit better.
I got comments at the walking stage. Yuck, you wouldn't feed them when they can walk up to you. And talking. Yuck, fancy breastfeeding a child who can ask for what they need. And when they can eat solid food. 'Cos that's just gross - breastfeeding a child who can eat meat and veggies.
Just stay strong. You are educated on the real facts. Hopefully our children will know better.
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Those comments....suck
I don't get them any more, but I have had plenty in my time. I'm good at smiling and waving, and 'this works for us'.
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Oh my gosh!!! What a horrible comment. How do people think it is okay to say that sort of thing.It sucks though, I still remember one cousin saying that at some point it starts to border on pedophilia. I was so shocked, I mean how do you even start to dissect that? The only opinions of any real weight is yours and your daughters and I'm sure she is showing you loud and clear what she thinks should be happening
I am the only person I know IRL (besides some ladies from here that I have got to know but never met) that has BF their baby for longer then 6 months. A little sad to think that.
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Thanks everyone xx
I know in my logical head all the great things you have all said thank you again for reinforcing it
Its just so strange that people make some wacky comments.
Beatrix I laughed at the "normal" milk comment umm makes you wonder who the first "normal" person was that bent down and drank from a cow udder to access "normal" milk lol
I think I need to just let me wash over me you are right.
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Good for you for hitting another goal! I've just hit my 3 month goal
My SIL on dp's side likes to point out how enormous my nipples will be forever and how saggy my boobs will be also. She used the word "gross" to describe a part of my body. Thanks SIL. People are idiots. And uninformed. Take pity on them for being such.
I'm not surrounded by people who bf either so I know how you feel.
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It was mostly older women who had their own children during the formula 'revolution' that would say that to me. I just said logically, why would I bother spending money on and preparing formula when I have plenty of milk?'
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All I can say is wow 9 months, good job. It is funny how there is a big push to BF but once they are at solids age there also becomes a push for formula. Just play dumb, when people make comments like " you should try formula" just say obliviously "no we're good" LOL.
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