DS likes to test me!

**Kalina** · January 17th, 2014, 07:17 PM

Hi everyone.
My DS (6.5 years) loves to push the boundaries ALOT!

We are currently undertaking paediatricians appointments and school assessments in relation to Aspergers/Autism, ADHD and Conduct Disorder.
I have had several appointments with several paediatricians who all told me that I was over reacting to his behaviour. Finally after 2 years I finally saw one who listened and is now doing all the assessments.

Anyway, (going to vent a bit here, sorry) just today he's bitten DD (3.5 years), stolen more food out of my fridge and cupboard than I could eat in a day (and eaten it along with all his meals and snacks that I have given him), made a concoction in the bath tub of random soaps, salt and chocolate sauce and (I think) he's peed in it (wtf??), decided that the lounge was a trampoline multiple times today and, took a sharp knife into his room (got it out off the top of the fridge) and (last one I promise) pulled all the toilet paper off the roll and then pooed on it and left it on the floor.

I am seriously at a loss as to what to do with him. I have tried EVERYTHING the paediatrician has advised as well as some if my own things.

I guess I need to know I'm not alone and to see if any of you have any advice. Also, how can I stop DD following his behaviour?

Any help, or even comforting words would be very much appreciated. They are both in bed now and I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out because I'm just soooo frustrated!

**Arcadia** · January 17th, 2014, 09:02 PM

You sound like you need a hug.

I don't have any experience but I think you're doing the right thing to get assessments.

What relationship dies he have with his dad or grandfather or uncles? I think sometimes older boys respond better to a male figure as a role model and to keep them in line (in a gentle way).

Sorry you're going through this.

**Miss.B** · January 17th, 2014, 09:33 PM

Firstly, big hugs hun. I have an almost 4 year old who loves to test and push the boundaries a lot too. Sadly, what works one day here doesn't always work again, even though I am trying to come up with new strategies all the time. I also pick my battles daily, otherwise some days, I would be telling him off all day long, it's just too draining and exhausting. I try and be consistent as much as possible, but that's sometimes hard to do. I try and reward his good behaviour and always correct his bad behaviour with consequences. Naughty corner worked for just a little while. I suspect that DS doesn't always understand what he is doing wrong. When he is bahaving badly, I explain to him what he is doing wrong, but sometimes he just shakes his head with a 'no', like he doesn't think he is doing anything wrong?? I dunno hun, I wish I could give you the magic answer. I listen to what the psychologist says in his early intervention program, trying to understand why he does the things he does, but it's hard sometimes. Don't get me wrong, he's not always naughty, sometimes he has those random 'crazy' days when he's very hard to talk to/discipline. I know he acts out more when he is trying to get my attention and after some foods, particularly those with the 'bad' colourings. He does seem to behave better with his dad and listens to him more, but then as soon as I'm in the picture, he starts to act out again. Again, sorry I couldn't give you more advice, I would say try and do what the professionals say but also try different approaches and see what works. Do you think he is doing certain things for stimulation? I know my DS is a lot more destructive if he is indoors, when he gets on that trampoline and we go to the park etc, he burns off that excess energy.

**Kalina** · January 17th, 2014, 09:51 PM

Thanks ladies. Yes, it's definitely indoors that he plays up more but with the heat we have been having the last few days I have tried to limit outside time to half hour intervals as it's just way too hot to be out there all day.
Being in the early stages of pregnancy doesn't help as a lot of the time it's my hormones going crazy.
He's a very "hands on" child and would much rather do a puzzle than sit and watch tv but getting him to sit for more than 10 minutes is so much of a challenge.
His "father" has been out of the picture for over 3 years now but he definitely responds to my DF and brother a lot better than to me.