I'm having a bit of a dilemma. My DD is 7 1/2. She has been invited to a birthday sleep over. First it's the party at a play centre, and then DD is invited to stay at their house and have a sleep over.
That's all fine and dandy, DD is super excited and has had sleep overs before. But the dilemma for me is that we have just moved to the area, and I don't know these people.
The friends DD has slept over with before, I have known for many years, since the kids were 2-ish. I have babysat the kids and their siblings, had coffee with the mums and BBQ's with the families. I knew them well.
But this time, I don't. I have met the little girl, just at school drop offs, and we've chatted a little. She seems lovely and DD adores her. I met the mum very briefly this morning, she was explaining that there was an invitation for DD, and what would happen with transporting the kids from the play centre and to their house. She seemed really nice, but I just don't know her.
What would you do? I'm worried about all those unthinkable, horrible things parents worry about happening to their kids. Am I over reacting, or being too sensitive? I know DD will absolutely love to go, and I really don't want to say no. If I called her to see if she was ok, would that be enough? How can I trust people I don't know with my girl??
No at 7.5 I would not be letting my child stay at someone's house I don't know. Simple as that really.
I would let her go to the play centre and then make some excuse to the parents about having other plans etc etc. And as for DD, you are the parent and in charge so I would simply explain your reasons to her and tell her that when you know the family more then perhaps you could arrange a sleepover.
Yeah 7 is young for me too. We don't do sleepovers till 10. And even then if I'm not comfortable they might only stay till late but not sleepover. My kids haven't found it to be a problem. They still have a great time. And the older they get the more relaxed we get.
I am not really a fan of sleepovers simply because due to size of our flat is hard to reciprocate. But if I were you I would let her go, if she wants to and is keen and has had other sleepovers (so she has an idea of what happens at a sleepover and what doesn't happen at a sleepover). I don't really see it as any different to going somewhere for a playdate. My kids are in the care of people I don't know all the time, at daycare, at art class, at friends places where I only know one of the adults, etc. It is a personal decision though and if you don't feel comfortable with it, I don't think any problem with not allowing it, just offering my perspective.
Thanks ladies. I'm so unsure of what to do, mostly because I know DD will be dreadfully disappointed if I say no. I'm still not sure what DH has to say anyway, if he's as hesitant as I am, we will say no. I just needed to have a bit of a gauge because I wasn't sure if it was just that I've come from a small remote place and knew all of my kids friends and parents well, since baby hood, or if I was being a meanie thinking the things I am. I'm sure they're lovely people, but this is my kid...
DD is 12 and has never been to a sleepover at someone's place that we did not know the parents. Actually she has never been invited to a sleepover anywhere we didn't know the parents so I think much of our school community probably have a similar attitude. I would not even have considered it at 7.
I always tell DD that if she is ever uncomfortable to stay at someone's place, either for a play or a sleepover, she should just tell them she doesn't feel well and that I will come and get her.
Can you make the effort to get to know the parents?
My daughter is turning 8 and she has invited one friend to sleep over for her birthday, I don't know the girl well. New to school etc but I would be more then willing to meet them and invite them into my home.
I think I will call the mum and try to organise a play date before the birthday party. It's school holidays now, so hopefully they're free. She has other kids around my other kids ages too, so it might be good for them to come and play too!
Make the effort to get to know them better. Are there other people you do know well who also know this family?
I wouldn't have an issue with my DD1 sleeping over at someone's house I didn't know well, personally.
I wouldn't allow my child on a sleepover without knowing the parents again, I've done it once and DD was 12, I had my doubts to start with and will NEVER do it again.
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Kids sleep-overs with people you don't know
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