Gay & Lesbian Pregnancy General Chatter #1

[BellyBelly]

Here you go - chat away

[TwoMums]

Yay i'm first to start, where are we all upto?

Ursula, you guys must be getting pretty excited, not long to go now huh?

Leasha, you go ok on the 50mg of Clomid. Kim did well, she only ever got 2 on 50mg she may have got 3 on 100mg.

Jesseeangela, how are you guys? Has Jessee only just started the treatment, how much longer does she have to go? I had a bit of endo when i was younger and i had to have a laparoscopy and diathermy then 6 months on Danazol tablets? That was about 17 years ago mind you, have the treatments improved?

DrGirl72, Has AF started? Are we onto cycle 3 yet??? Hope you guys are getting there...

As for me and kim we are madly dieting to lose some weight before January when kim will try IUI with injectables (maybe clomid) again and we are one month down two to go at this stage!! Also i am 2.5kgs down and kim is 4 kgs down, so we are doing really well!!

Anyhow take care everyone, hope to chat to you guys soon!!

[TwoMums]

Oh and a big welcome to Marlo & Dan!

[D&M]

Hello and thankyou for the welcome
Congratulations for the weight loss twomums, its not an easy trip
I'm trying to get a grasp on the treatments some of you are experiencing as i'm not up on it, but I think slowly i'll gain more insight. I thought I might throw a topic up in the air, have any of you have sought legal advise about the legal standing your partner has after the child is born, for example, god forbid, something happens to *the birth mother* and she no longer has the capacity to look after the child? Or even guardianship and surnames etc.
Dan and I have spoken at great length about this topic and have researched a little, by the looks of it, Dan doesnt have much in the way of legal standing, which isnt something we like at all

Gosh I hope I havnt opened a sad can of worms, but I wanted to hear some of your ideas/thoughts and so on..

ok cheerio

[Indadhanu]

Yeah, the 50mg treats me better than the 25mg, or maybe I'm just getting used to it... dunno, but at least I'm not too bad this time, just some hot flashes which are completely managable! Did Kim ovulate on 25mg? Did you try 25mg? I'm a bit nervous because I had great sized eggs on 25mg, and am worried that i will have something like 10 eggs there when we go in for the scan. I know, its a bit extreme, bt I'm a bit nervous considering I responded so well to 25mg IYKWIM.

Is that the fertility drugs making me gain weight! WOOHOO! I have an excuse. I felt like I've packed it on since starting in July, at least now I have an excuse, instead of me sitting here and going "how the heck did that happen!".

Oh boy D&M!
I'm not sure you want to hear our saga with that... we've looked this up... and done a lot of deciding... my parents have outwardly said that when we have kids they would contest if Shel got custody if something happened to me. Which really puts us in a horrible spot... I think if you've got supportive family around, if somehing happens to you, your partner would be able to get custody. As long as the 'blood' relatives agree. If not, theres a WHOLE other road you've got to go down...

We've got to get a will made which will state who i do want to have custody, and I'm also going to put in who I don't want (my parents!). My parents do not know we are actually in the process of TTC, they just think we were thinking about it... I don't plan on telling them when I gt pregnant, and if they ever want to see our child/ren they will have to sign an agreement acknowledging Shel as the other parent, and the rightful full-time guardian if anything should ever happen to me. If they don't sign it, they won' be allowed to see our kids. We're also going to get a parenting order. Something else we are doing is keeping a journal and photo record of our time together and TTC, to prove, if it ever needs to be proved, that we intended on doing this together.

I'm changing my surname to Shel's surname... I personally don't like my surname as a constant reminder of my father...

[DrGirl72]

Am currently cd 14 of a likely 35 dayish cycle. Hope to ovulate around day 19-21. Statred doing OPK sticks on the weekend. Am VERY bad at remembering to take my temp before getting out of bed, so that is not really useful for me- any tips would be great. Also get up a t different times as on gym days (about 3) the alarm goes off at 5.30am, other days i get to sleep to 6 or 6.30. When my partner and I got "married" in march she changed her name to my name, we are in the process of updating wills etc which include intentions around children etc. You can apply for some from of legal rights through guardianship ( I think this is fedral law but you would need to check, I am in SA). Hope this makes sense! I am being quick as I am at work and between patiens so should go!

[Ursula]

Just found this thread - didn't know it existed........

Thanks for asking abt me TwoMums - def. getting excited over here and also quite keen for things to get under way. Feeling rather like the beached whale and movement is becoming limited as I now own two footballs for feet!!!!! WTG on the weight loss too!

D&M - great question. We've tossed it around alot but nothing formal has really been decided upon. I personally would probably like Mum and DP to share custody cos DS has a great relationship with his grandparents but he needs to be with DP and the other girls plus this new little person. Def. something that we need to devote more time/thought towrds, unfortunately I don't like discussing stuff like that cos I feel like its bad karma - inviting something bad to happen - I know silly huh?

Alisia - good luck with the 50mg clomid, hope you get a successful result from your scan in the next couple of days.

DrGirl - good luck using the OPK's, I found them the most useful sign of O, was useless with my temp as well and found temp taking to agonising in the TWW. I hadn't temped for 4/5 months when I fell pg (finally after 27mths TTCing), just picked the middle of the cycle as possible O day and timed insem for such and then had OPK confirm speculations the night of insem with positive OPK.

OK off to do some much needed uni work, need the distraction to stop thinking abt impending labour - just bring it on!!!!!!

[Indadhanu]

Hi DrGirls... Lucky for me Shel gets up to go to work at 5.30 every weekday, so those days aren't a problem, but I would recommend setting an alarm... say at 5 every morning, so that you can temp at the same time each day... and so you remember that the alarm is for you to take your temp... then you can go back to sleep til 5.30 or whenever...
I set an alarm for weekends, and I've got a digital thermometer, so it saves my temps and now I just take my temp and roll back over.

Yep, a parenting order is (I'm pretty sure) is federal law. There is an article you can read... it is from NSW, but one of the best resources to start at IMO...
Just google... iclc
And click on the result that says "Talking Turkey"

[TwoMums]

Hey Girls

Well i'm 3.5kgs down now, i'm sitting on 100kg so i need all the encouragement i can get!! I started off at 70kgs when i started all this fertility treatment, i think it was the injectables that did it but clomid has a bad rep for putting on weight too!!

Those OPK tests are pretty accurate at detecting the LH surge and if you are using fresh sperm they are great! Inseminating on the day of the surge and the next day should cover you. Not so much with the frozen donor as timing needs to be a little more accurate than a 2 day window, hence the trigger injection with HCG so you can pretty much be certain that you will ovulate 36-40 hrs later. Frozen sperm doesnt last as long as fresh.

D&M after the baby is born you can apply to the family court for a parenting order, so if anything were to happen to you, your partner would get automatic custody of the child. That is from what i understand. Ironically if you were to separate, your partner has more rights to the child then when you are together. They have rights to shared custody and also are required to pay maintenance amazingly.

Kim never tried 25mg, i guess because of her age... our fertility is probably not as great as someone thats 21 so our doctor just started her on 50mg. She always got one or two on 50mg and always got 2 or 3 on 100mg so i wouldnt be too worried about getting 10 follies!! Good luck with your next scan!

Ursula you will have to keep off those footballs eh? I hope you are feeling well tho and you dont have to wait too much longer!!

[Indadhanu]

LOL, TwoMums... you'd think I'd be nice and fertile huh! I'm not too scared about 10 eggs, just really don't want to have to cancel this cycle.

I have a question about the process you have to go through to get a parenting order... I've heard it's very intrusive and grueling... has anyone been through it?

[DrGirl72]

Thanks Alisia for your tempin ideas. I like the idea of a thermometer that saves the temp as waking at 5am, turning on lights, finding pen, writing etc is a bit overwhelming. Will go hunting for such today. Will keep my trusty OPKs in the meantime but it would be nice to have a back up!

[D&M]

Hello everyone, thanks for all ur replies, it was a good start and its always good to source opinions. As for the toxo from cats, we both need to be tested, we were aware of that, so that test can be added to the long list. I have been considering and sourcing thoughts on returning to work and when etc after the birth. It's going to be necessary for me to do this, but the idea of day care is scary as well, for eg, kids getting sick. child care versus Dan leaving the baby down the paddock in a wheel barrow. (im joking!) what are your thoughts? We are travelling with options and its always great to hear what others choose.
ok, time to go reading again
cheers everyone.
D&M

[DrGirl72]

Well, I'm into the TWW again - at the very start and already obsessed! Need some distractions as it feels like it will be a long 2 weeks! So any posts gratefully read!

[Cheryl]

Hello all,
Wanted to just tell everyone I am cheering for you. My partner and I tried for almost 3 years, one of those years non stop! We did have success with our first round of Follistim but lost that one at 8 weeks. Then 4 more cycles with Follistime and no luck. They believe the mild endometriosis was not allowing the egg to get to the tube. So we bypassed that and went for IVF and actually had success. Then 8 weeks into this pregnancy after seeing the heartbeat I developed a subchoroinic Hematoma (massive bleed) and we thought we lost again. I now can proudly say I am 15 weeks pregnant and there does not appear to be any further complicaiton. It is a long road and I had so much support from other women that I wanted to return the support. I hope everyone is able to realize thier baby dream, and I will add IN PEACE:-) I do understand the tough road. Good luck to all.

[Indadhanu]

Hi all... Well I am on the TWW as well... IUI on the 11th, and O on the 12th (well, thats what FF reckons) ... so CD29 and 10 DPO today, and have an appointment on Friday with the FS, and probably a blood test on Monday if I haven't got AF, which I'm 100% certain that I will, because I have the worst PMS ever at the moment, I feel as though AF could come today...

DrGirl72... when is your TWW up?

D&M... Day care is scary for me too! While our bub is under 3, I'll only use it if absolutely necessary. Of course, theres not an issue for me going back to work, so its not a huge drama, but I am hoping to go back to uni at 6 or 12 months depending on how it all goes lol! Luckily Shel's mum has a great track record of looking after the kids whenever its needed, so bubs will be having nanna bonding time instead of day care

Cheryl... Congratulations on getting to 15 weeks! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is just as good! Wow, a whole year non-stop... I couldnt do that!

[Uncle Amy]

Hey everyone!
Introducing myself - 'Uncle Amy' - so named by a 15 year-old neice. Due tomorrow, had a really good pregnancy in a really bad situation. Very luckily to concieve naturally (not so lucky choice of male 'one-night-stand', old friend from uni who has refused any responsibility, and just found out he is working with my ex-girlfiend at the moment - someone I would have LOVED to concieve with AND her new girlfriend and neither of them know he's the dad. I really want to poke his eyes out with a fork for being so childish. I'm angry at myself for being so angry in a situation many would think was heaven, and it's really not that bad but I am sooo frustrated coz the baby is due TOMORROW and I want it NOW!!!!!! Ha ha - such impatience reveals so many truths - to impatient to wait for a good relationship to bring up a child in! This is probably silly to post coz I'm a bit bonkers right now, but really glad this forum exists on belly belly, was getting really lonely in my due dates group, and being too unstable have ANY sort of routine (i moved tomums 2 or 3 weeks ago, haven't worked for 5 months, my story is stupidly complicated) haven't managed to get on and say HI - THANKYOU for being here, thankyou Kelly for making this space, and big fat fertility vibes to all trying to concieve. I feel guilty doing it so easy, so there is plenty of overflow here enough for all. Each time I post I will be delivering more. xoxoxoxoxo

[Curmon]

Hey everyone,

My name is Claire and my partners is Donna. We have been together now for almost 10years...gee its flown on by. We (Claire) have been TTC for 7 months using AI with unknown donor sperm which has not worked. I have just completed my first IVF cycle with 1 blastie transfered this tuesday just gone and 5 more on ice. So lovely 2WW for me....with OHSS, feeling much better now though.

I noticed everyone was talking about parenting orders, I actually have copies of consent orders, so if anyone wants a copy let me know and i can email it to you.

Claire

[DrGirl72]

Alicia, my TWW should have been up 6 days ago but in fact AF came 11 days ago. Haven't even logged on to BB since then as was feeling miserable, convinced I am infertile or going through early menopause or something! (I tend the the histrionic side of life at times). After breakfast yeatserday morning with my ,ore grounded DP and our lovely donor they have encouraged me to see that two months of actually trying without a BFP doesn't equate with my being infertile! OUr donor did say someone told him he should be having "sperm food" which is actually some sort of diet to ???encourage lots of healthy sperm. Anyway back to counting the days to trying again...how is everyone else going?