Hi everyone! I'm not sure if this is the right area to post this question so please feel free to move it lovely mods
Now first of all, I am NOT pg with #3! DH & I are tossing up whether or not we should have a third child. DH has always wanted three children, but since DS2 he has had second thoughts! We had some big issues with DS2 for a few months (sleep issues, grumpiness, seperation anxiety, etc) and I nearly went around the twist. DH doesn't want me to go through that again and I kind of agree LOL! But, DS2 & I got through all of that, he now sleeps all night and is a really happy cheeky boy again.
I never thought I'd want a third and I'm still not sure, but I kind of feel sad that this is it IYKWIM? It's so fun to watch your children grow and learn new things and I sometimes think it would be nice to experience it with one more child. Gender is not an issue, I love having boys! If we had a third boy though would it be chaos?
I don't know! I need help weighing up the pros and cons! So...those of you that had number three - Was it a rude shock? Was life so much harder? Was it not as hard as you expected? How did you cope with a bub and two other children? Would you recommend having a third child? (Silly question, I know no-one regrets having their children, but you may like to warn others it's best not to have another one!).
Sorry for my long rambling post, I just feel so confused about it all. I'm not 100% sold on either choice and I NEED to feel 100% certain! We want to have our minds made up within the next few months so we can move forward in our lives.
Hey! We found that the transition from 2 to 3 was not bad at all. I think going from 1 to 2 was more difficult for us. With the third, the older girls were both used to having to "share" mummy, and so sharing with one more was not a big adjustment for them. Of course there will be times where you are at your wits end, but I think those days happen no matter how many or how old your children are. I'd say go for it! But then, I have always hoped for a bigger family, and we'd like to have more, so the idea of only having 2 would be very strange to me!
I've heard some say that it's hard adjust to not having enough hands to hold your kids when you go out, and that is true. But I've found that one in a wrap/carrier, and one on each hand works pretty well. And besides, the days of having to hold on to your kids at all times are limited - they grow up fast! A sibling-friend is for life.
As far as spacing goes, we've never planned our babies, but they've been about two years apart thus far, and I find that pretty nice. Again, I think there are pro's and con's to different age gaps, and your child's personality will make a big difference too, and that's something you can't plan for!
But as you said, you don't regret having children - when they come, you love them to bits and couldn't imagine life without them.
They are about 20 months apart. It would have given me more time to get DS sorted sleep-wise etc. It does depend on the kids personality a little too I suppose.
DS would have had just a little more maturity to cope with it all, from what I've seen (and this was in a thread a little while ago), that a 3 year age gap seems to be perfect and thats the way I'd do it again.
I'm not sorry though - and anyway I had to hurry and have the next one so I could still qualify for mat leave with my employer and get my home loan before they realised I was pregnant! At the time I had started my business and knew that it would be very hard getting a loan as a single person running a business. Actually impossible!
So I did hurry it through and still hurting from losing a surprise baby before DD, so everyone is different. For me it would have been better leaving a few more months between them!
To late for me to think about going 2 to 3...its on the way....i cant wait.
For me i think smaller age gaps are easier to manage (not that i know what a big age gap is..and what its like) the girls are in the same routine, both in nappies and both as demanding equally. DD1 helps with DD2 when she wants to so the small age gap hasnt ment i have to do 'everything' for them.
I think with #3 DD1 will be able to help so easier again.
I found that I felt very simular, wasn't sure about number 3 or if i wanted a third baby. I have Pos and it takes months of testing and drugs to fall pregnant, naturally has been out of the question. My son Joshuah was a handful, still is although he sleeps fine he is a handful in the day and rarely if ever stops no means try again and keep testing mummy till she cracks. My daughter was never like this, it wasn't till I fell pregnant naturally last year that we relised we wanted another child, my husband and myself got so excited at the prospect of another bundle of joy. Amazed that it was natural and for us a meant to be miracle baby........ But it wasn't meant to be and we were very devistated when i misscarried, we were told to wait 6 months so after a lengthy discussion we thought we wait until Joshuah was in school and less of a handful so we'd wait the 18months before trying knowing that it could take us months before I'd fall pregnant again. But low and behold another suprise was waiting for us and we were a little more than shocked when I tested posative early in febuary this year, our little miracle baby is due in October! We are super excited including the kids and counting down the days, but still shell shocked at the prospect of having 3 children!
Hope this helps,
Snoopea
Cricket - You make it sound so easy LOL! I guess I'm just scared I'll have another one and say "what was I thinking?!"!!
Lulu - I see what you mean about sorting sleep out, you definitely want to only be getting up to one child through the night.
Kim - Yay, I can't wait for you to have #3 too LOL! I will definitely be coming to you for advice if I decide to go for another. You will be an expert for sure!
Snoopea - Thanks, your story has helped! So sorry to hear of your m/c . Congratulations on your miracle bub! I suppose if you do fall pg unexpectedly you work out pretty quickly that you already love it . Come back to this thread in a few months time and tell me what it's like when bub arrives LOL!
Life is busy.....very very busy. I always wanted 3, and soooo glad i had 3 girls. But i found jumping from 2 to 3 big.....we're currently drawing up rennovation plans for our home (adding an extra bedroom, new play room), we've just bought a new car, and our grocery bill - whoa, i wont go there.
I love it though, i take my girls everywhere, my DH works shift work and has a business at home, so im with the girls on my own a lot. Some days i think 'what have i done'? but theres not much i can do about that is there.....
I used to think when i was pregnant with Dd#3 'how am i going to find time to breastfeed a baby?'....but you know what, 10 months into it, you just do, you just slot them in so to speak and you do find time.........ive even been thinking lately 'ahhh 4 would be nice'...he, he,he. But thats another thread.
Well I have around 3 years between all mine. I wanted 1 tt before I had the next.
1 - 2 wasn't too bad. DD1 loved having a baby around. Now that they are older they get along great sometimes, other times they fight like cats & dogs!
Dd2 was a hard baby. She had colic, a heart murmer, & lowered immunity because of it, so was always sick. So life was pretty hard at the start. Lack of sleep etc.
I've found the 3rd alot easier. He is a really relaxed layed back baby. Most of the time - he's teething now though! He just sort of fit himself in. Started out sleeping through. Usually still does, but is also having a growth spurt now.
It takes alot longer to do anything. Getting dressed & ready to go out takes a good hour & a half. Can be done in less time if desperate, but thats if I leave baby crying to get things done. He does feed every 2 hours through the day.
I'm alot busier, & I find it really hard to keep up with the house work. BB doesn't help there though. DH & I don't get much alone time unless we stay up late to talk & crap. Then we miss out on sleep though, so we don't do it too much.
I only get through each day by sitting in a hot shower to destress every night after the kids go to bed. It helps me though. Relaxes me.
I have DD1 with behavioral problems too though, so I get alot of extra stress dealing with that.
The main reason we had #3 was coz we wanted a boy. It was an issue for me. I don't know why, but I was desperate for my own son. I'm SO happy we got him with out having 6 girls!!
I don't know if that will help with your decision, but as busy as I am, going through it the 3rd time I've noticed so much more. Watched him so much closer & really am enjoying him. I just can't get over the fact that I have my little man. He's amazing.
mbear - We'd have to think about extending too if we had another. That's another factor to consider!
bjrose - Wow, it sounds like you are kept very busy! I have great admiration for you. I'm so glad to hear you got your boy, now you can stop if you want!
Trish, My nightmare is that I'll have no hair form the stress of chasing 3 kids around, I've a girlfriend that's just had her 4th so i figure that it can't be that bad, plus she's still got all her hair!
This has been good to read! Although I am already preg with number 3. Lulu, we have the older child (10) and this gap will be three years between 2 and 3, so Im hoping it's like you say!!!!!
We've already upgraded the car, the house is going to be a SQUISH, and I already have days I wonder what Im doing! But Im excited!
And it's good to know there are others out there in similar situations! Always seems to make things that bit easier xo
we have just welcomed #3 into our family
It has been very interesting, so far i have noticed that it takes alot longer to go anywere, i think im going to have to be ultra organised.
and organising things in between breast feeds as well, mind you bub arrived the first weekend of the school holidays so i have had 2 older bored children to try and entertain.
Well, I don't know if I'd say it's always so easy, but I remember when I only had one, and I thought I was busy, and would never be able to manage two, and then I had two, and it was fine, and then I had three, and it was fine. It's always a bit of an adjustment, but you can do it! After all, ladies used to have 12 or more babies, and they didn't have washing machines, dishwashers, running water, indoor plumbing, etc, etc. We're stronger than we think.
Also, as far as space goes, it's nice to have a big house, but I don't think that's absolutely essential for having more children. A family we knew had 11 kids, temporarily living in a converted bus! My grandma's aunt had 16 kids in a three bedroom apartment. (BTW - both mothers maintained their sanity and lived to tell about it! )
I'm not saying those are great situations, but if you think you want another baby, but can't because your house is too small, you might be able to come up with a really workable solution.
The car thing is another matter - you'll need room for the car seats, etc. We've moved up to a 7 passenger minivan.
About having moments where you wonder "what was I thinking!?!?" I had those with DD1, already. She was a very fussy baby. I don't think it matters how many you have, you will probably always have days like that. And, I find those are nicely balanced by moments that make you say "how could I have considered anything else?"
Trish, I wouldn't be suprised if I'm already grey!
Tan32 what a beautiful baby, congratulations!
Webbmeg, I'm the same number 3 coming and he'll be here before we know it, I think I'm more worried about having 2 boys than having 3 kids.
The car we have at the momnet is a 2003 nissan patrol and we've already got 4 bolts fitted, so we can put our kiddies in the back if we need to take out adults, they're isn't much leg room in the back. I'm taking it down to see about a fifth bolt after school holidays, so I can keep the massive boot most of the time!
The house luckily was four bedroom so we've given up the study, but I can live with that!
Snoopea
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What was the transition to baby #3 like?
. Congratulations on your miracle bub! I suppose if you do fall pg unexpectedly you work out pretty quickly that you already love it
(BTW - both mothers maintained their sanity and lived to tell about it!
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