Am I over doing it? 1st time mommy needs some advices!

[Carmen2]

WHen DD was 5 months old, we started to give her cereal mixed with water and a little pureed fruits since she hated cereal mixed with formula.

Now, she's 8 months old and weights 20lbs 2oz. How much food and formula for an infant of this age?

Here's our daily schedule:

5:30am -- (6 oz of bottle) then back to sleep
9:20am --wakes up then sits on toilet for about 10 minutes followed by a bath
10:15am -- 3tbsp of cereal mixed with apple juice, 1 tbsp strained beef/pork, 1 1/2tbsp fruits/mixed veggies
12:30pm -- (6oz of bottle)
3pm - 3tbsp of cereal mixed with apple juice, 1 tbsp strained beef/pork, 1 1/2tbsp fruits
5pm -- (6oz of bottle)
7:30pm -- 3tbsp of cereal mixed with apple juice, 1 tbsp strained beef/pork, 1 1/2tbsp fruits
9:30pm/10pm -- (6oz of bottle)

On average, DD drinks about 26oz of formula and eats 3 meals/day.... but I find that meal time is a torture for me as she could take up to 1 hour to finish her meal.... how long does your DD/DS take to eat solids?

P.S. DD loves solids especially when there's fruits in them... I guess it's the sweet taste bud acting out... but 1 hour is so long!

What am I doing wrong here? Please help!!! THanks in advance to all replies

[~clover~]

Do you sit & feed her every feed? Maybe try giving her some bread & vegemite to feed herself. You can give it to her for 1 feed, say lunch, every day. Bread is easier, then introduce other soft finger foods. Maybe Kiwi fruit.
That way, even if it does take an hour, youu aren't stuck feeding her - watch her though - & she is learning at the same time. I think my girls started sandwiches at around 7 or 8 months. My oldest was 6 months I think. They loved it.

[Saffi]

Hi Carmen

It sounds like you are doing fine. 6oz is around 180mls (right?). And 20lbs is around 9 kilo (?). And you are doing 4 bottle feeds a day plus 3 solid feeds.

I think the calculation for milk feeds at this age is 120mlsXbodyweight in kilos/number of feeds per day. So 120mlsx9kg/4 = 270mls/feed but I think that is the ideal but if she seems satisfied with 180mls then thats ok too.

My initial thought is that she is getting the right amount of milk/food. But an hour?? Honestly I would have given up after 20 minutes, but I am not that patient. Is it a struggle to solids feed her? Does she refuse and you have to cooerce her etc. Is she eating purees/mash or finger foods? If she is eating finger food then I guess it might take longer but also you can leave her to it with supervision of course.

Milk is their main source of nutrition for the first 12 months so it is important to keep the milk feeds up. Have you tried her on vegies yet like potato, pumpkin, corn etc?

Hopefully you'll find some answers.

[KatieRabbit]

Carmen, sounds like you are looking after Nicky really well! This is what I do:
~feed solids after breastfeed three times a day
~give cereal and fruit in the morning (about 1 tbls cereal and 2 of fruit)
~Yoghurt for lunch (about 2 Tblesp)
~Vegies for dinner (about 2 Tablesp)
~Use only water or breastmilk to 'wet' cereal so doesn't get too much fruit
May I suggest that you may be giving too much cereal? I may be completely wrong as I am a first timer too, but perhaps someone else may know or check with a MCHN?? Perhpas Nicky may be starting to want to try other ways of eating/foods eg as suggested already feeding herself steam pieces of veg (keep a watch on her), grated cheese, cooked pasta pieces (ie spirals) etc I love kellymom and annabel karmel's website for baby food ideas (and BB of course)
If Nicky's milk and food were closer together she may be hungrier for both- have milk and food as one meal?? She make take a long time to eat because a) she is not so hungry, b) she is getting too much. Just for you to think about... Again I could be well wrong!

[Carmen2]

During meal times, I sit with her the whole time while I feed her. Most of the time, I try to eat an apple or my meal while I'm sitting to feed her (to give her a sign that it's meal time for the both of us). Even with that, she can still take an hour to eat. I am not a very patient person either and sitting for an hour is quite long. DH suggested me to skip a meal and "let her get hungry" so that she will eat faster. Don't know if that's a good idea... to me, I feel guilty for skipping her a meal!

She is 8 months old but still no teeth yet which is why she is still on pureed food. Is it okay to give her soft cooked veggies at this time when she's got no teeth to bite the foods apart? She loves fruits mixed with cereal. Other than pureed/finely smashed food, I haven't started anything else. I know for one thing... when I eat an apple, she seems more interested in my food (table foods than her own). Sometimes, I would let her suck on an apple I am eating and she just loves it. But I assume, apple is a choking hazard at this age and especially that she's got no teeth?

In Canada, the recommended amount of formula for an 8 month old is 30-330z (equivalent to 900ml or 1000ml). I don't really follow what's said in the book because every baby is different. Also, ethnicity plays a big role. In North America, 70% of babies and children are considered overweight. TBH, I am not so concerned about her bottle intake. I used to make up a 7 oz bottle but there was always 1oz or sometimes 2 oz left so I figure I'll just make up 6oz. Most of the time, she's done with her bottle in 10 minutes. Her bottle habit is to drink when she wants a nap or sleep unless it's the 5am (hunger feed).

Maybe I should try giving her less cereal and see what happens. I'm not too keen on sitting for 1 hour/meal which means 3 hours/day just for meal time. If it goes on like that, I think she'll develop a bad habit of taking such a long time to eat. Should I cut back one meal or should I continue the 3 meals routine but cut back amount of cereal?

I know that many moms suggest to bottle feed first then solids, but with DD, it doesn't work out at all. When she's got a full belly of milk, she just wouldn't open her mouth to eat even a bite... and if she does she would gag and just throw up the bite of food and some milk which is why I am doing the spacing to feed her solids and bottle for at least 2 hours apart from each other.

I wish I could find a solution to DD's odd eating behavior because right now I feel her "when her meal time comes, torture comes!"

[~clover~]

You are going to have to start introducing other foods. Fruit & veggies will not make her over weight. Mash up some potatoe & pumpkin together. & banana is good. Just mash with a fork.
The fact that she has no teeth won't matter if they are mushy soft foods. They use their gums to eat. All babies have a gag reflex that brings up anything that gets stuck in their throat. Both my girls gagged on alot of things, but as far as I know it's coz they are still learning how to eat.

Cook up some broccoli & carrot til they are soft & just sit them in front of her. See how she likes them. There are heaps of things you can try. As long as they are soft.

She won't like somethings at first, because she hasn't tasted them before. After a few goes at things she should enjoy them more. Just try more vegies than fruit.

You are doing a great job! Enjoy, coz when they start feeding themselves is when the fun starts!!

[Emma1979]

hmmm if it were me i'd definitely be introducing finger foods, like toast, banana, soft cooked veg etc... not sure on the no teeth thing - but i'm sure my dd only had a few teeth at that age (she only has 8 now at 15 months) and she still managed to chew and eat foods, i think they 'chew' with their gums... i don't see how having one or two teeth would make a huge difference to having none... maybe give it a try??

i'd also definitely be setting a limit on meal time.... i don't think it should go on and on and on until she finishes.... its probably not too much fun for her either and you dont want her to end up dreading meal times too.... if it were me, i'd say 20-30 minutes is enough then meal time is over.... if she is hungry she will eat.... i guess you sort of want her to learn that when its meal time its 'get down to business and eat time', and if you let it go on and on and on she may think she has all the time in the world to eat... on the other hand she may get really bored and frustrated too.....

oh i just thought of what i used to give dd before she had teeth, a cruskit.. not sure if you have them in canada... its like a wheat wafer type biscuit that basically melts in their mouth, no teeth required... the suck on it.... granted its not exactly very filling , at least it will teach her the basics of learning to self feed.

it sounds like you are doing a great job, i think its hard not to worry about how much they are eating, i still do it every day, but at the end of the day i think they really do eat when they are hungry, they won't let themselves starve.... they can also pick up on your anxiety at the dinner table (okay maybe not at 8 months, but certainly at 15 months) and can learn how to use food as a power struggle... so i'd definitely try to be carefree and relaxed at meal times and finish up after half an hour and go play or do something positive, and not stress about how many mouthfuls she's had.... i think she'll let you know if she's hungry....

good luck i hope you find something that works for both of you xx

[Emma1979]

ps at 9 months dd was basically living on brocolli... i'd just steam it up and put it down and she'd feed herself... bowl fulls!! it was great.... if they learn to self feed early i think its awesome, you can actually get stuff done while they are eating like stack the dishwasher etc.... cleaning up is not so fun and you soon get sick of it, but i highly recommend encouraging self feeding!!

also try grated cheese, grated apple, grated carrot.... or small bites of cheese...

hope this helps!!

[Carmen2]

You are going to have to start introducing other foods. Fruit & veggies will not make her over weight. Mash up some potatoe & pumpkin together. & banana is good. Just mash with a fork.
The fact that she has no teeth won't matter if they are mushy soft foods. They use their gums to eat. All babies have a gag reflex that brings up anything that gets stuck in their throat. Both my girls gagged on alot of things, but as far as I know it's coz they are still learning how to eat.

Cook up some broccoli & carrot til they are soft & just sit them in front of her. See how she likes them. There are heaps of things you can try. As long as they are soft.

She won't like somethings at first, because she hasn't tasted them before. After a few goes at things she should enjoy them more. Just try more vegies than fruit.

You are doing a great job! Enjoy, coz when they start feeding themselves is when the fun starts!!

bjrose,

Thank you for your advice. I think you have given me some thoughts. My main concern for not starting her on any soft solid food is because of her gag reflex. I was telling myself if she gags on pureed food, she will most likely choke on soft foods... SILLY ME! My mom has been coming to me with a hammer because no matter how much she tried to convince me that DD should start eating soft solids, I just told her off. I feel so bad now that I have turned away mom. Although she hasn't taken any of that personally, I can imagine what she must have thought "what a stupporn girl!"

I have tried giving DD some mashed sweet potato, she loved it but it only lasted for 2 weeks then she totally hates it to the point she would seal her lips when she taste sweet potato.

I will try to introduce more veggies in her meal and cross my fingers that she will gradually be able to feed herself soon. Tonight, I was preparing salads for DH and was feeding DD at the same time. I gave her a piece of cucumber to suck on. She seems quite interested to be able to hold her own food and she was actually enjoying sucking on it. Then a few minutes later, the piece of cucumber goes on the floor but when I gave her another one, she takes it and chew on it again.... should I watch her while she eats so the foods don't end up on the floor? Is it only my DD who drops/throws food on the floor or is it a common thing at this age?

[~clover~]

That's the fun part! The cleaning up after! Most of the time they don't even realise they are doing it at her age. It's new, so she will play with it too & when it goes over the side of the high chair I don't think she'd know it's gone now & not coming back.

Good on you. I'm sure your mum know's you were only trying to do whats right for your bub. & I reckon she'd be more than happy to forget about it!!

Avocado would be great too. It can be sliced up & is nice & soft & really good for them.

I'm glad I helped. Good luck.

[Carmen2]

hmmm if it were me i'd definitely be introducing finger foods, like toast, banana, soft cooked veg etc... not sure on the no teeth thing - but i'm sure my dd only had a few teeth at that age (she only has 8 now at 15 months) and she still managed to chew and eat foods, i think they 'chew' with their gums... i don't see how having one or two teeth would make a huge difference to having none... maybe give it a try??

i'd also definitely be setting a limit on meal time.... i don't think it should go on and on and on until she finishes.... its probably not too much fun for her either and you dont want her to end up dreading meal times too.... if it were me, i'd say 20-30 minutes is enough then meal time is over.... if she is hungry she will eat.... i guess you sort of want her to learn that when its meal time its 'get down to business and eat time', and if you let it go on and on and on she may think she has all the time in the world to eat... on the other hand she may get really bored and frustrated too.....

oh i just thought of what i used to give dd before she had teeth, a cruskit.. not sure if you have them in canada... its like a wheat wafer type biscuit that basically melts in their mouth, no teeth required... the suck on it.... granted its not exactly very filling , at least it will teach her the basics of learning to self feed.

it sounds like you are doing a great job, i think its hard not to worry about how much they are eating, i still do it every day, but at the end of the day i think they really do eat when they are hungry, they won't let themselves starve.... they can also pick up on your anxiety at the dinner table (okay maybe not at 8 months, but certainly at 15 months) and can learn how to use food as a power struggle... so i'd definitely try to be carefree and relaxed at meal times and finish up after half an hour and go play or do something positive, and not stress about how many mouthfuls she's had.... i think she'll let you know if she's hungry....

good luck i hope you find something that works for both of you xx

Emma,

Thank you for your advice too. You are so right... an hour each meal is a TORTURE!!! I watch this slow hour go by as I spoonfeed her. I dislike it but had no choice. I think she could tell I care how many spoonfuls she eats each meal. I tried telling myself not to count, but at the end of the day, I finds myself telling myself "hmm, today, DD didn't eat that much." I think this has also created some amount of stress because evidently I worry when she doesn't eat enough.

Tonight I started giving her a piece of cucumber to chew on and she was really interested in it. I think she's more into finger food instead of me spoonfeeding her. Well, at 8 months, I guess she's fighting for mroe independency.

I will definitely take your advice about giving her some brocoli. By the way, do you only give the flower part of the brocoli and leave of the stem? I can only imagine her eating by herself and thinking how sweet those free time would be. Right now, I must admit that I feel a little tired of feeding her her meal and bottle (I use glass bottle so I can't have her hold it herself).

I have tried giving her the rusk biscuits that melt in the mouth, but she didn't seem too interested in those. The one I bought was banana flavour, I will try the oringinal and see how she goes with that.

Unfortunately, she can't have any grated cheese because the doctor thinks her eczema is related to lactose intolerance. I sure hope that this isn't the case, but will probably start the diary part a little later since her eczema has just been under control after a long, tiring episode. Right now, her formula is a hypoallergenic (lactose and soy free) formula which taste awful! Poor DD, but she's stuck with it!

Things work so different in Canada... in general, they suggest babies to start finger food at about 10 months.

Hmmm... now that I've gotten some new advices, I will definitely try them out. Will run to the store tomorrow and get her some brocoli, carrots, bananas, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin to start her off. Maybe the struggle between DD and I at meal time will settle down.

Also, if she's on soft finger foods, how long should I give her at each meal so that she will not dread her time... and I definitely don't have the time in the world for her meals!

THank you so much Emma....

[Carmen2]

That's the fun part! The cleaning up after! Most of the time they don't even realise they are doing it at her age. It's new, so she will play with it too & when it goes over the side of the high chair I don't think she'd know it's gone now & not coming back.

Good on you. I'm sure your mum know's you were only trying to do whats right for your bub. & I reckon she'd be more than happy to forget about it!!

Avocado would be great too. It can be sliced up & is nice & soft & really good for them.

I'm glad I helped. Good luck.

bjrose,

Thank you! You have not only given me some of your valuable experiences, but have also given me the couragements I needed to move on.

I will keep you all posted on DD's eating improvements... but maybe I will have some more questions to ask

Moms are the best things in this world. I think it's such a lovely gift that I could be a mom and experience what a mom has to sacrifice for their children. It has made me more grateful towards every mom!

[KatieRabbit]

Carmen. A few things I thought of:
~babies are less likely to choke on finger food that they feed themselves than purees as they control what goes in as opposed to having to take what is on the spoon
~place newspaper under her highchair to catch food and wrap up for the bin after a meal
~I would cut down her meals if u are feeding her- say 20 mins.
~if she feeds herself, stay close by but let her explore the food and squish it etc She will eat what she needs to. You don't need to worry about time then!
~If it drops, leave it there (unless she has none left and get her some new supplies)
~Her gums chew the food, not the teeth until quite a bit later
~Steam or parboil the food- not so that it is hard but not mush either
~Leave it quite whole- don't dice it up. The 'tree' or brocolli is good- she can hold on to the stalk and it is completely edible if she wants it!
~ Food is for fun until they are one! I love this saying. So true- they are exploring food at this age- and will make a big mess but that's ok. Their main nutrients still come from milk until 12 months.
~Try pasta, carrots, cucumber, bread, pumpkin, zucchini, cooked chick peas etc Try to introduce a real variety so she gets used to texture and flavour. I would nearly leave out the cereals. Unless some ground oats, millet or other good cereal mixed with fruit for breakfast.
If you go to the part on Bellybelly (underneath baby and toddler discussion) called Breastfeeding, Bottlefeeding and Solids, there is a subsection called Infant Lead Weaning. This is all about baby feeding herself what she needs. There are a couple of good threads for you to read:
Infant led weaning (by Falguni I think) last post 7 May 2008, and
Babyled solids- where on earth do I start, last post June 8, 2008
These threads may be just what you need!

[~clover~]

I just wanted to let you know that even though they have the gag reflex, they can still choke. One of the reasons to keep food soft. It comes back up easier if soft.
I just wanted to warn you. But she should be fine.

[Carmen2]

Today has been a semi rough day.

I gave her some finger veggies and everything ended up on the floor... and guess what, my chihuahua has learned to be around DD during her meal times so she could catch bits and pieces from the floor.

I cut down the amount of food during meal time as well as the time we spend on the meal. At the same time, I introduced her some mashed banana. The look on her face wasn't a pleasant one (I guess it's because it's a new food that she's not used to). She wanted to gag the first mouthful or two, and then it's gotten a little better afterwards. I didn't want to push it too much as it's our first day.

I don't know exactly what happened today but it seems like her reflux has acted out as she threw up twice (not large amount). Then I start asking myself if she's full. Well, she's only taken 26oz of bottle (equivalent to 780ml) - that's not too much formula for a baby of this age. As for her three meals, it's been three meals of 4 tbsp/meal. Also, her feeding time has been quite apart, at least 4-4 1/2 hours apart from each meal. Bottle 1 hour or 1 1/2 hour after her meal. Still, she threw up... DD had a reflux problem earlier, but it has been settled...

I will begin some soft finger foods for her tomorrow and see how she goes about. Hopefully it won't be like today... she's gotten 3 baths... had to clean the messy floor along with her soiled laundry from the vomit.... not the best day!

[~Kim~]

Hey Carmen, sounds like you're beating yourself up a bit over this hun - shame there's no instruction manual.

Just wanted to add my experience. My bub refused food at all until she was well over 9months old. And then she was nearly 12 mnoths before she was having 'three meals' a day. They don't actually 'need' any solids until after 12 months - it's just an experience.

Maybe she just isn't ready if she's still gagging and unusually slow to take to it.

[Carmen2]

Each baby is different from one another which makes it hard when it comes to trying to understand for a new mom.

For a few days now, I have been trying the advices. At this moment, I think DD is interested in everything that she could get her hands on... eventually, it goes into her mouth. She loves it for a few minutes and then she gets distracted by something else. I was so discouraged at the beginning because I have tried so many things and putting in so much efforts to a point that I feel like a total failure in motherhood. I asked myself how come DD is so different from other babies... she just doesn't like to eat/drink. The reason why I started her on pureed food was because she was not so interested in her formula.

I tried keeping her just on the formula thinking she might not be ready for pureed foods yet. But I don't think this is the case right now. She seems so difficult to please. When she takes a nap, she usually takes her bottle but only after she sucked on her pacifier for a few seconds. She wasn't like this when she was younger... I don't know why she's turned out this way, but I just kept with her pace so that she will drink enough to keep up with her output and weight gain.

I spoke with my doctor and she didn't seem to say much of it. And being a first time mommy only puts more stress on me since I don't know if it's normal for DD to be acting this way. I think I worry too much but then again I still find myself worrying and thinking about these issues the moment I get a chance to.

These few days, I have tried to let her eat her biscuits, mashed bananas, and bread. So far, she has been okay on them. She like the bananas more (I feed her the mashed bananas on a spoon) and she drops the biscuits and bread often. She also like to suck on the juice of tomato and unfortunately, I can't let her hold it as it will create a big mess. The rest of the food, I let her eat, drop, and explore since it won't create such a mess. I am waiting for the avocadoes to ripen so that she could try on those. Oh, as for the brocoli, she didn't really chew on them... she looked at them and it all ended up on the floor.

Right now, I feed her 3 times/day (food) and then bottle an hour after her meal (on average she drinks 26oz). Do you think I should alter the feeding time. I kwow most moms prefer to feed bottle then food but it didn't work on DD as she would reflux the milk up... what should I do?

[~clover~]

I think the reason they feed bubs food after the bottle is coz bfing or ffing is the main source of nutrition for the first 12 months.
It is more important than solids, so it is better to give it after, or bubs can be too full from the food to take the formula feed.