We are expecting our new baby in 4 weeks time, and I have recently begun to contemplate the idea of co-sleeping.
Baby was always going to be next to our bed, in a bassinet, but I hadn't really entertained the idea of baby sharing our bed. I actually didn't want the baby to sleep in bed with us. What if the baby never wants to leave? How will the baby learn to sleep on its own? These are the questions that went through my mind.
So, recently, I started reading two books given to me by a friend who co-sleeps with her 9month old.
I have: Baby Sleep Book. (Dr William Sears and Martha Sears)
Sleeping With Your Baby, A Parents Guide To Cosleeping. (James J McKenna)
I have a Peanut Shell sling, and was always going to 'wear' my baby during the day, as I like the idea of attachment parenting. Now I am liking the idea of co-sleeping at night with our new baby. One of my main reasons for this, is to continue with AP and assist in the night time breast feeding which baby will need.
I am hoping to have baby sleep with us at night, and learn to sleep in his/her bassinet during the day, when not in the sling.
I found it very tiring to get up to my DS (12yrs ago) every 2hrs or so overnight to breast feed him, and I think it might have been one of the reasons I supplemented with a bottle occasionally.
This time, I know more (due to my profession) and have researched more, and would like to do things differently this time around.
DF is very supportive of my AP, babywearing ideas, but he is not so sure on the co-sleeping. His main concern being safety for the baby, and never getting the little critter out of our bed! I can understand his concerns of course, and he will be reading the books I have. He is very open to suggestions.
I guess the reason I came in here is because I am looking for more personal experiences with co-sleeping at night. I am also interested in what people have done to prevent baby rolling out/falling out of bed. Baby will not sleep between us.
I have seen in one of my books, the Humanity Family Sleeper & Co-Sleeping Bean, by Humanity Infant and Herbal. Has anyone else heard of these, and if so, are they any good and where can I get one?
If anyone has any other ideas about ways to bolster my side of the bed - the side baby will be sleeping on - I would be eternally grateful. It is not possible to put our bed up against a wall due to the shape of our bedroom and window placement.
It is also not possible to have our mattress on the floor, as I have a pre-existing back injury that prevents me from getting up and off something so low down.
I have realised this post has gone on long enough! Sorry to bore, but wanted to get as much information into it right from the beginning. I look forward to hearing your responses and gathering more information.
Flynn sleeps with us occasionally, he did more in the early days (up until about 12 weeks). We have a king size bed (I thoroughly recommend!!)and have not had any worries with him sleeping between us. I move him up between our pillows (they are not close to his head and the blankets don't/can't go over his head)
I don't really have any other suggestions... I have seen these things in Kmart etc that you put the baby in in between you, it has sides to stop you rolling on them I guess. Don't know anything else about them sorry
Anyway, good luck!
Hey Kell!
WOW 4 weeks to go!! I bet your excited!!
I dont co-sleep (I have on the odd occasion though when Ben has been at work), but i have done a lot of reading about it.
If its an option, you could get rails to attach to your side of the bed?? I dont know what they are called, but you get them for a toddlers bed so they dont fall out of the bed..they are kinda like what u see on the side of the top bunk bed. Hope you know what i mean?? Im pretty sure you can get them from places like Big-W, Target, K-mart, but any baby store would be your bestest bet.
Also, like cathernie mentioned, you can get the snuggle beds, i think they are called. But i dont think they would prevent baby from falling out of the bed, but it would most likely stop you rolling onto the baby.
Also, you can get like a cot kinda thing, same height of your bed, attached to your side of the bed. Again i dont know what its called or where you would get it from..but baisically its like a little cot, with three sides, and the side you attach to your side of the bed is open, so that it kinda extends your bed, but only for the baby..if that makes much sense??
Hope that helps at all, ill try find out what all these things are called, and let you know, coz im certain ive probably confused you lol.
_______
ETA: The cot thing next to the bed is called a Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper Bassinet do a google search, itll come up with a pic so u can see what it looks like, it also converts to a normal bassinet/parta cot too.
The rails are just safety bed rails/bed rails/bed guard/bed barrier.. millions of different names..but check out any baby store, its very likely they will have them
Last edited by Butterfly_Princess; August 8th, 2008 at 12:40 AM.
Thanks Meg & Catherine for those suggestions. I have researched some different types of safety arrangements for co-sleeping. The snuggle bed is good for preventing roll-overs and will also prevent baby from falling out of bed. So will the little bed thing in the middle of the parents that you mentioned Catherine.
Unfortunately, these are not conducive to what I am trying to achieve. I want to assist in the nighttime feeding, and if Baby was in one of these, it would involve me still having to remove baby and get Baby onto the breast. The same situation with the Arms Reach Bassinet. I plan on having Baby's bassinet right next to me on my side of the bed, and Baby will start the night off in there, then, when he/she wakes for the first feeding, I will be bringing Baby into bed with us and feed, then sleep the rest of the night there.
I did think of side rails, but was wondering, wouldn't I still need to put a pillow behind Baby to prevent baby from getting squished between the mattress and the railing? I know they are soft and some even have mesh, but are they really that snug a fit with the bed?
Catherine ~ DF is 'iffy' about the idea of all night co-sleeping as it is, just for the safety factor, so Baby will definitely not be sleeping in between us, as he would get no sleep just for worrying about the Baby!
Thanks heaps guys for your input!
Yasin slept in our bed on and off and Imran slept in our bed for all his night sleeps from day one.
After having an unexpected c-section I didn't want to have to try and get him out of the hammock in the middle of the night so I just got DH to put him in bed when I was going to sleep and he stayed.
Now he sleeps half the night in his bed and when I go to bed I bring him with me. My DH was nervous about it too when our first baby arrived (mainly thanks to MIL's scare mongering) but now he loves it and doesn't want to give it up.
I have to say that I love it too - there's something really wonderful about snuggling up to your children and drifting off to sleep.
As far as the safety - you need to find the guidelines for safe co-sleeping and follow them and you should be safer than having them sleep seperately.
I think that Imran would have died if he had been in a seperate room. I woke up one night because he had stopped breathing.
I have been reading up on Safe Co-Sleeping. I'm not particularly worried about the safety factor. I know it can actually be safer than 'solo-sleeping'! It's DF that's concerned. But he's very happy to read the books I have and inform himself properly!
I definitely think this is the go for me, I slept so soundly last night just imagining having my Baby right next to me while I sleep. This is the first time I have slept so well in weeks! Now if I am sleeping better just thinking about co-sleeping....how much better is it going to be when I actually am co-sleeping! I can't wait.
Im just still researching different bolster/rail/roll-off preventers besides pillows!
I've co-slept with DD since day 1 - completely unplanned lol. I'm probably in a bit of a different situation to you in that my DH snores like a freight train, so most nights I end up in the spare bed (I'm a light sleeper, he's a dead to the world sleeper). When DD came along, we sort of just commandeered the spare bed as 'our' bed.
When she was little, the bed was so big I wasn't worried about her rolling off - especially before she could roll. The bed was against the wall and I bought some really firm pillows to put between the matress and wall so as there was no 'gap'.
Once DD started being able to move about, we plopped the mattress on the floor and put softer pillows all around the edge, so if she did roll of, she hit pillows first before floor. Course now she just speed crawls off LOL.
But of course, both of those don't help you... hrm.
A snuggle bed might be an option, so long as your bed is big enough. I bought one originally because I too was worried about the safety side of it, but it took up a lot of room between me and DH. On my own with DD it wasn't too bad, but it did make me feel 'separated' from her. And as you mentioned, doesn't do well with the feeding...
Hrm, I'm no real help am I...
Do you have something firm you can place against your side of the bed? IE a big chest of draws? You could put the back of the chest near the bed to create a fake wall. Course, you'd have to shove DH out the way any time you wanted out hehe. BTW, my DH wasn't comfortable with DD in between us either when we did it a couple of times (it's amazing what 'new mummy' can do to help you sleep through snoring!).
In regards to sleeping better - I sleep so much better beside DD than if I don't. In fact, I actually find it hard to fall asleep without her beside me, and the second I lie down with her - bam, out like a light.
Hi Haydies.
Im glad co-sleeping works with you. I think I might invest in a side barrier that attaches to our bed. That way, I can still put Baby's bassinet right up next to me on my side to start the night off...then when Baby wakes for the first feed, I can bring him/her into bed with me and we can stay that way for the rest of the night, with the barrier to prevent falls.
I will do some 'looking around' while we are out and about tomorrow and see what kind of barriers are out there and what might be suitable for my purposes.
Still need to prove to DF that it is safe....but I really think my minds made up....going back reading my posts it sure seems like it anyway! LOL.
Thanks for all the info ladies....if an yone else has any tips or info they would like to share, I will be eternally grateful.
If your DF is worried about rolling on bubs you could ask him to think about when the last time he fell out of bed was or the last time he rolled on the cat (if you have a bed hogging cat like mine). The same senses that stop you from rolling out of bed will stop you from rolling on your baby. Amazingly enough all our senses except smell still work while we're asleep and although we're not conscious of it we can make descions in our sleep that safeguard ourselves and others.
Also if you sleep in the recovery position it's very difficult to roll.
Kel, we've been co-sleeping since our DD was born (apart from the odd night where she went in cot). It was unplanned. My DP also had same worries but it worked well and he doesn't mind now. It's so lovely waking up beside our DD. It has worked well for us as we can get sleep also. There was nothing worse than both of us being sleep deprived to the point of exhaustion.
Every bub is different though. Do what works for you
Another update:
Told DF I would like to try having bassinnet right up next to me, I'll take Baby out and BF in bed, then put Baby back into basinnet once asleep. In the morning when he gets up and goes to work, I will take Baby into bed with me and have a 'sleep in' of sorts.
If this doesn't work, then I will try leaving Baby in bed with us overnight.
He is happy with this 'trial' so I am happy too.
My DP was really against having our DD in bed with us. But after he met her, he changed his tune. She is definately Daddy's girl and he is open to so much more now. He also said he would never change a poo nappy, and he does them all the time now! Good luck
Last edited by ~Belinda~; August 12th, 2008 at 09:00 PM.
Contemplating Co-Sleeping
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