Anyone here been to TRESILLIAN for a stay?

[Mum0809]

Hi! Has anyone taken their bub to Tresillian for a stay? Anyone been to the one at Kingswood? What did you think of it? Did it work & is it worth it? Do they let the bubs cry?



Thanks in advance for any replies!

[Mum0809]

Anyone?

[Amity]

I went to the O'Connell Family centre in Canterbury, Victoria, for a 5 day stay. It was great - very gentle. Sorry I don't know about Tresillian.

[Trish]

Yes I went there when Tehya was 6 months old. In answer to your questions, Yes they do leave babies to cry.

You can forget about co sleeping. If you are caught you have to leave.

I guess it depends on what you want to get out of it. Yes it works for some. No it didn't work for us. And 3 years on, Tehya is STILL a shocking sleeper.

I found it hard to stick to their routine with 3 other kids to work around. While I was in there is was ok, you don't have to worry about cooking or cleaning, and OMG you will be suprised at how much spare time you have. If you are ok at listening to babies cry you will be fine, but for me it does my head it. I think personally, for me the crying was worse than no sleep.

But please don't let what I'm saying influence you badly. It can and does work there.

[Mumma2three]

I went to Tresillian in Willoughby. I went with DD1 9 years ago and it was the biggest blessing in the world. She was 8 months and up to that day she (and I ) had slept no more than 1.5 hours at a time EVER. AFter ONE night she slept through and has always loved sleep since. It is controlled crying but i found it to be awonderful supportive environment and I was allowed go in as often as I wanted. It took maybe an hour but it meant sleep.
Also went with DD2 but it ended up being more an escape for me. She didn't really sleep whilst we were there, but was fine afterwards at home. again she cried, but not hysterically.
I also had all thesleep I wanted as they do the controlled crying IF you wish. With number 1 I had 4 nights of sleep but with 2 I was up alot as DD was keeping everyone else awake!!
Even though it was CC I found it could be as gentle as I chose. xo

[ZigZag]

Hi. Yep I went to Tresillian with my DD at 15mths of age. We went to Willoughby NSW. We stayed for 4 nights and saw improvements within 48 hrs. Others had seen improvements within 24 hrs. Our DD's sleeping issues weren't completely resolved by the time we left but persevered with what we'd learnt at home and within 3 nights she was sleeping right through the night and putting herself to sleep without crying and us not having to be in there.

Their methods are not for all but I found them to be 110% supportive and they would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do but at the same time you were there to try their methods. Since then, we have never looked back and she has been a brilliant sleeper ever since. Never had to go in and pat, rock, sing, lie next to her to get her to sleep ever again (which we were doing for 2-3hrs at a time). Not that they are bad things to have to do, but we were all getting 3hrs of broken sleep a night for months on end and working at the same time. I was very quickly heading towards depression and was seeking any help available. Our DD's issues started with unavoidable medical intervention for hip problems. Her sleeping over time just got worse with all the different approaches we were trying to get her to sleep. Reflecting back, I personally think we had confused her with all the different approaches and by sticking strictly to the one approach (which Tresillian helped us with) she was able to get a routine going. That said, all children/babies are different.

Our life changed hugely with Tresillian and I'd definitely recommend to anyone that asked.

P.S. In our experience, as soon as DD was getting the sleep she needed, we saw a huge improvement in her learning. She was speaking more, more interactive, calmer and just doing new things on a daily basis.

I hope either way, you find the help you need.

[Lolli]

I haven't been to Trisillain but I have definately thought about it. We were booked in to go- we should have done day stay today- but I pulled the plug a few weeks ago. I just can't stand bubs to cry and I don't think it's good for them. We are still not sleeping very well but i'm resigned to that by now- I figure that is the reason I'm at home and not working, so I can do the wake ups at night.
I just thought I'd throw in that I've heard Karitane is better than Tresillian as they are much more gentle and flexible and offer a lot of other options instead of just cc. From what I've heard, Karitane will allow you to be more flexible with your routine rather than just laying down one set routine for all babies.
Trish- just for curiousity, was the getting-kicked-out-for-co-sleeping thing because of SIDS recommendations? or just because they are aginst co-sleeping? Your post made me feel better about my desicion not to go Tresillian btw- not nice for you but nice to hear that Tehya is still a shocking sleeper even though she's been 'trained', I think Ty would be the same.

[Trish]

LoriRae, I am pretty sure the co sleeping thing is for safety reasons. They are pretty strict on safety in there.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it can and does work. Infact I know it does. I've seen babies change after coming from there. And Tehya probably would have too. The first night we were in there she slept the whole damn night. She'd never done that before.

I am a person who finds the sound of babies crying distressing. Yes, I know it's normal, but I hate hearing it. So it wasn't me just getting uptight about my own baby, I could hear other babies screaming too. The one in the next room was just 5 weeks old

Forgot to say I stayed at the Nepean one too.

[Lolli]

The one in the next room was just 5 weeks old

Wow I didn't think they even took them that young.

Sorry to hijack this thread a bit, but Trish what is the magic formula they use? Is it just cc- teaching them to settle themselves by not going in to them (or not picking them up out of their cot) or is there more to it than that?

[Mum0809]

I am at a loss . I'm meant to call them today for an interview but everytime I think about it I feel sick. I can't handle Harrison crying. I seen the baby nurse last week and when I got home I tried the control comforting stuff. I found it distressing, Harrison was distressed, he got hysterical and there was no way he was going to settle like that unless he just got too tired to sceam or loss his voice from sceaming. I couldn't do it, I was crying too. It took me 20 minutes to calm him down afterwards. This is normally a baby who sings and laughs to himself as he is going to sleep. We are all getting lots of sleep, he normally doesn't wake up til 5am for a feed then goes back to sleep til 7-8.30am. The main problem is he won't go in his cot so we are having to hold him for his day sleeps which I don't get anything done and he gets very heavy, and dh been having to sleep in another room cause he snores and wakes Harrison up. I don't know what to do.

[Lolli]

Hp's mum- Just a thought. I went through a really bad patch for 3 weeks with my ds- the same sort of thing you are describing. He is a not a good sleeper at the best of times but it was just at the point where I couldn't hack it anymore. That was when we booked in for Tresillian. I was hesitant like you are. We tried doing it at home too with the same result- ds was so hysterical after 20 minutes I gave up and I felt terrible- I hated seeing him in that state and decided it wasn't worth it- I'd rather have him just wake up then be so distressed
However (this is the point I was getting to- long way round it)- a week later he came out in a rash. it turned out he had german measles. That was what the three weeks of unsettledness were about- he was getting very sick but I didn't know- he didn't even spike a temp the whole time.
So maybe if you sit on it for a bit the reason for the behaviour might come to light (I hope it is nothing as dramatic a sthe measles, they were pretty horrid). Maybe bubs is cutting teeth slowly, or coming down with something? If he has been good up to now, maybe there is another reason behind it.

[Mum0809]

LoriRae - I think that has been one of the biggest problems. He has been sick so much since he was born. He has had tonstillitis twice, the flu and croup 3 times . He takes about three weeks to get over anything. He has been teething bad too. He got better from tonstillitis about a week ago.

[traceyvon]

I have been experiencing sleeping issues with my DS since he was born. I bought a book, The No Cry Sleep Solutions which helps with sleep and settling a using a gentle approach. It is my bible and I am always re-reading and looking up things. The author believes in not letting her children cry (and neither do I, I can't stand to hear DS crying!) and while it will take longer to see results that CC, it is worth it in the end.

[~Kim~]

Yep I went there - initially it was for a day stay and then things got so bad they rushed me up the list.
BUT the day stay was enough for me - when they called with a spot I had an anxiety attack. My PND actually got worse and I canned it.
I reassessed how I thought about Darcy and it was kind of my epiphany with her.
I didn't like the environment or the enforcement of their rules.
I can understand totally why you would feel sick.

[Lolli]

Hp's mum- Oh you poor thing and your poor bub. Maybe that is the reason behind it- it sounds a lot like what we went through. Ds had bronchilits for about 4 weeks before he had the german measles. He's better now, but when I look back at that time it feels like there was a black cloud over our lives. Maybe hang in there for a few more weeks and see how you go, especially if you are a bit hesitant? Tresillian will always be there. The weather is getting warmer so maybe bubs won't be as sick. You could do as I did- call them and book in, because if it will take about 6 weeks to get a spot there, and then reassess the situation in a fortnight or so and see how you go, and you can cancel if you want. Btw, cancelling will not affect you if you do feel you need to go sometime in the future.

[Mum0809]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies.

Traceyvon - I will look for that book.

I have decided not to go. I can't put Harrison or myself though it. If someone told me I couldn't pick up my son when he was screaming, I would probably punch them in the nose . My mil did it once and she hasn't done it since (and no I didn't punch her in the nose). It might help alot of people but I feel I have made the right decision for us.

I feel alot better since I decided not to go. Thank you

[ZigZag]

I'm glad you've made a decision you're happy with. You definitely shouldn't do it if you felt that uncomfortable with it.

I did however just want to point out to anyone reading that Tresillian don't tell you, you can't pick up your baby. They're just not like that. They treat every case differently and observe the child first before deciding what the parent should try and consult with them before doing anything.

Our stay started with us staying in the room with our DD sitting on a chair next to the cot until she was settled enough for us to leave the room. The point of it being you don't make eye or touch contact which is just a means of you needing to be there for them to get to sleep. Over the course of the night/week you would gradually stand further away from the cot and work towards eventually moving entirely out of the room once you'd laid them in the cot and said good night. You don't walk out and leave them to hysterically cry for minutes and minutes on end from the word go of laying them down.

Anyway, not trying to push the point or at all change your mind, just wanted to say they're not harsh like some would think. At least that was my experience (DD was 15mths and were in the toddler area so could be a different experience in the 'baby' area).

Hope you get some peace soon and no further sickness. We've only experienced croup once and it was just awful so hope your DS is on the mend.