Suggestions? RE: Settling newborn at night

[Beckibee]

We've arrived home for our first night together as a three-some and I know I'm nervous about how we're going to go.

I know it's way too early to expect a definate or permanent pattern from a newborn, however Maddy is a wonderful daytime baby. After a feed around 7am, she'll often sleep for anywhere around 2 to 3 hours; this will continue through-out the day - she seems to love sleeping during the day and has no problem settling in the bassinet for a sleep.

At night, the past two nights in the hospital were an experience & a half. They encourage 'feed on demand'....basically, I felt that if Maddy was dry, warm enough etc; but she is sucking at her fists and zooming in on the breast; to feed her. The problem is that she'll fall asleep at some point during the feed in which I'll try to get her to settle for some sleep. She'll fight it immediately and begin to cry uncontrollably - especially as she appears to have bad wind as well. You cant pacify her with rocking etc; she just sucks as though she wants the breast again. I spent four hours on one of the nights trying to follow her lead - even though I knew some of it must be comfory sucking.

One night we finally managed to get her to fall asleep on the breast and she co-slept with me. Last night again, she fed for hours straight and the co-sleeping didnt work until we swaddled her really tightly and she fed at my breast until she fell asleep. She will not settle in the bassinet/crib at night but is happy to during the day?

I know she's less than a week old but does this sound normal? I'd appreciate any suggestions!!! Is it unrealistic to expect a baby to settle at this age?

[Alan]

Hi Beckibee

Yes this is quite normal. Your baby is used to the noisy hospital. You could try leaving a radio playing at night or have a ticking clock close to her also put the top you have been wearing in your babies crib/cot she will be able to smell you.

I would expect for your baby to find her own routine in a few days. She has to learn the differance between day and night.
I think there are some articles here on BB about this.

If I can be of any further help just let me know

[CourtneyH]

Becka she sounds like Kian when he first came home. I quickly realized I was a human dummy. Luckily it was just his need to suck that had him going so he took a dummy no problem. The Dr actually suggested it when he was on the breast 4 hours straight and I was hurting. I bet I nursed him to sleep for the first 6 months of his life. When he was swaddled and sleeping I would put him in the bassinet right next to my bed but keep my hand in the bassinet until he was really out. Then I could sleep at least 2 hours.

No matter what you do you will be right ... my favourite phrase was ... mommy is always right.

Love ya little sis ... can't wait to see more photos of my niece!

*huggles babe and congrats*

[Fi]

From what I remember, it takes them a few weeks to get the day and night thing sorted out. I know Jenna was most active inside me from about 5:30pm onwards, so you can expect that a similar pattern will develop outside the womb for a little while.
They call it "arsenic" or "witching hour". Jenna's was about 12-2am for the first few weeks, and slowly it dropped back to about 5pm. There will always be an unsettled time during the 24hr period.

The best thing you can do is try to catch some zzzz's during the day so the night wake-ups dont kill you in the first few days. Also feeding as much as you can will be great for bubs. Co-sleeping is great, but I did find that attachment was so important in those first few weeks when your nipples are still soft, and their mouth is so pinchy!! So juts make sure when you are feeding bubs in bed, they stay nice and tight against your body. That way you should avoid the nasty crack I got when Jenna was about 2 weeks old..... OUCH!!!

Have fun, and remember, the first 6 weeks is purely about survival. If you can get through that, anyway you can I might add, the rest seems relatively easy. Goodluck, and you are ding a great job!!

Fi

[Adnil]

Bec, I remember asking the same thing. Emma slept beautifully during the day & I was worried about her not sleeping at night. I never knew about the noise issue though until I read this! that explains a lot! Emma just worked it out for herself during those first 4 weeks or so. It is tiring during that time, but it definately does get much easier. I use a dummy with Emma for that sucking instinct. I dont know if you want to use a dummy or not, but that is another option if you are getting sore from the sucking.

[Beckibee]

Oh my lord....thank you SO much ladies ( & Alan ) for your suggestions. I've come to terms with the fact that Maddy's awake time in utero was ALWAYS about 10pm through til 2am. Seems to be that she just needs to adjust to day vs night before that'll change. DH was FANTASTIC last night - I got teary from the constant feeding etc but he just kept taking her off to get her nappy changed and for cuddles...she loves those.

After 3am this morning she was just perfect....She slept like a doll on my chest after a feed at 6:30am and then I transfered her to the bassinet. She slept there until 9am so obviously she's just a day sleeper. She's back in there now after another feed.

Waiting for our midwife visit at home today between 9am - 3pm.

Alan, thanks in particular for the suggestions regarding my clothes in her bassinet and also music. She slept through me vacuuming this morning, a load of wash in the washing machine and now I've got the cricket on in the background. DH also put music on last night and she did settle a bit better.

And ladies, thanks for your stories of your own experiences with your little bubs. No matter how crappy you feel some times about the situation (always seems worse in the middle the night), it always helps to know other people have been there and have come through it in one piece! =D> [-o<

Will definately sleep as much as I can today while she is out like a light.

[BellyBelly]

Pick up a copy of 100 Ways to Calm the Crying by Pinky McKay, then you'll never be short of ideas!

[Mumma2three]

Beck, classic (well, not so classic) but this is EXACTLY what happened to me at the beginning, and I posted here (about 10 times!!!). Sounds like Coco has VERY similar patterns to Maddy!! It's 4 weeks for us tomorrow (OH MY GOODNESS) and we have no pattern still, but Im starting to know what's going on I guess. I have realised that if I put Coco down at night and she wakes up, I just have to keep feeding her (may be for one minute) and until she stays asleep. This usually takes 2 or 3 attempts. Its' not so bad as I've given her her big feed, so it's only comfort sucking, but it doesn't take long and gives us peace after she does settle.
Then during the night I will feed and if she won't settle in her cot, she sleeps with me in bed. She has slept in our bed every night from birth sometimes from midnight, sometimes earlier sometimes later.
As for the day, we have a couple of sleeps for 2-3 hours, but she may wake up and I have to pat her to sleep again. other than that, she loves being awake!!!
Gotta run, I can hear her stirring! ox

[Pietta]

firstly congrats on Madleines safe arrival!!

I know with Ryley it did take him a while to adjust to no noise and to be honest he really did sleep better when there was noise- only the last six months has he slept with little or no noise.

I didnt breastfeed so i couldnt comment on that but i can definately still tell you to sleep as much as you can during the day!!

Good luck and take care!!