I'm sitting here closs to tears listening to my poor baby girl screaming so hard. Aaron is holding her & trying to calm her down, but it's just not working. She will not calm down for anyone but me. Last week she was screaming with my mum & when she caught sight of me she stopped & starting chatting away. Should I just go in & take her off Aaron & calm her down or do I need to help her learn that daddy will protect her & look after her as well?????
It's so so hard listening to her cry, but it's also very hard being the only one that can settle her down.
Go in there, I think that's what your instincts are telling you to do. Calm her down, then give her to A, and stay in the room, helping her to stay relaxed while also trusting her dad.
From reading your post I would say no Juliette isn't too reliant on you. Can Aaron comfort Juliette by holding her and you be in the room also where she can see your face?
Aw Sarah! Hang in there love! Myles went through the same thing at about that age too! I wish i had DH to help me settle him but he is a shift worker so i had to do all the settling! Myles can now be comforted but DH and my mum so dont worry about her not being able to settle for anyone else. She will begin to know who is safe, but maybe she just needs you now!
Hope you can realx and your precious baby girl can settle! Good luck x
rip the t-shirt your wearing off, and go and lay it against her while she is in aarons arms. i had to do the same thing for aston when he was about the same age. I went out for the first time without for a massage, and DH called me just as I finished, distressed, with aston screaming on the end of the phone. when I got home he was still crying and DH was as equally distressed, thinking he can't do anything. I ripped my tshirt off, and laid it against aston, while he was still in DH's arms, and he settled straight away.
If that doesnt work, go and give her a cuddle hun. She will work out soon enough that daddy is just as wonderful as mummy, and then mummy will feel sad that she isn't needed as much.
DS got to the stage where if he even thought DH was going to reach for him he would scream. It was hard on all of us but especially DH who got really sad that DS wouldn't go to him.
I wish I had just persisted earlier rather than waiting until almost 1. It was so hard doing every day and night shift when if DH went in to him he would only scream louder. Thankfully now is much better and DS has started reaching out for his Dad.
It is hard but she is with Daddy, she is safe. Perhaps go up to her whilst DH is holding her and stroker her hair and sing to her so she knows that you are still there.
Hi, I can relate to how you are feeling. When Cooper was very young, (he just turned 2) I was the only one who could settle Cooper. I am a single Mum and have lived with family since he was born, and it was hard because both of my parents wanted to be able to help, and he only wanted me.
Well, lets say a lot of that has changed! He is still a 'mummys boy' but the last few months, if Cooper wakes up at night, the only one who can put him to sleep is my Dad. I tried resettling him in the night quite a few times, but nope, Dad has got the magic touch.
Even if he is having a tantrum, the one who will talk sense into him, is again, my Dad.
So all I can say is if you feel you want to step in and just comfort her, go with your instincts. Really she is still young, and when I look back at when Cooper was that age, I can understand that he only wanted his Mummy cause they are still so attached to us.
DS had really bad seperation anxiety from about 5 months. He didn't even want DH. We tried DH doing all the fun stuff, carrying around old breast pads, giving a bottle of ebm... nope, DS wanted me. Even joint cuddles (held by me and us both hugged by DH) weren't always welcome.
Therefore we let him have me as much as possible - I cooked with him on my hip, I showered playing peek-a-boo (DS hates showers too), I co-slept and DH had a camp-bed in another room.
Then DS grew up, got over it, knew that Mammy and Da both loved him and enjoys life. He was 11m before DH would try to take him on his own though!
Don't know what I'd do if I had to look after an older child at the same time as well though.
I gave in!! It just breaks my heart when she is so upset Daddy had the magic touch with Zander, but I suppose he had a lot more contact with feeding him bottles each night.
Vx I'll try taking my top off next time, I hadn't read that before I went in.
You weren't giving in Sarah - you were doing what needed to be done. Now put that whip away and stop being unkind to yourself! Let me know if the doing the tshirt thing works. hun
Every bubba is different, and thats ok. Paris was a daddy's girl (although now she's a mummy's girl LOL) and Seth is and always has been a mummy's boy. Even when I thought he wasn't because he wasn't cuddly he wasn't cuddly with everyone at that time. I honestly think you do whats right for you. She's still so small, if you aren't comfy with it then its fine, but if you need a break and you leave her with him she isn't going to break. Do what is best for you and best for Juliette, and only you and Aaron can know that.
Bonnie only loved me for a very long time... now she is a daddy's girl In fact I think they were all a bit like that. It's tough, but she will understand when she gets a bit older.
Maybe have play time with all three of you but focus mostly on Dad, and you get up and leave for a sec and come back before any tears?
Hi Sarah,
it is so hard not to go in especially if your are trying to let dad take some of the settling responsibility. You didn't give in either you just followed your instinct.
My DS is definitely a mummy's boy & will only settle for me & as I am a SAHM & don't have any other children this suits us ATM (it could change at any moment - he is teething ) I think he is starting to go through the seperation thing as he is not going to daddy as much as he was (turns his head everytime dad kisses him) I figure he won't be like this forever.
I have been told the t-shirt thing works so definitely give it a try & if you want/need dad to be able to settle her then you may need to persist but if it isn't that important yet maybe give it some more time & your DP & Zander can have some quality boy time while you are settling your little girl. Goodluck & HTH
Reminds me of my Sam.....she was and still is very clingy. She is nearly 1 year old and is only just, just OK with going to my mum or my dad, whom i see weekly. In the past should we go to a family event, or see friends, i would often have to hold Sam the whole time coz she just would not go to anyone else. Scream if i put her down, scream if i gave her to her daddy....it was easier for me to just hold her.....
She's been on this planet for 3 months or so.....i think its lovely in a way she has bonded with you......my mum used to always say it was coz i breastfed her....but i dont know if there is truth to that, as i breastfed all my girls....but makes you wonder i guess.
I was a single parent even before I was a single parent so I've never been in this exact situation, but I think either situation is fine. She's only a lil'un and if you want to go get her off DH when she cries, that's perfectly okay! But she'll be okay with him too if you leave them to it. She'll be fine as long as some one's there looking after her.
Mitchell, who is now 8, was like this. He would not settle for anyone but me, didn't even like to be held or played with by anyone but me. Nearly drive me insane, LOL. I think the t-shirt thing is a great idea.
Jack is the total opposite, he'll go to anyone, fell asleep in his grandmothers arms the other day and she'd only seen him a couple of times.
Reply With QuoteI know how you feel.
Registered User
Is she too reliant on me?
Daddy had the magic touch with Zander, but I suppose he had a lot more contact with feeding him bottles each night.
In fact I think they were all a bit like that. It's tough, but she will understand when she gets a bit older.
) I think he is starting to go through the seperation thing as he is not going to daddy as much as he was (turns his head everytime dad kisses him) I figure he won't be like this forever.
Bookmarks