Sleeping- what to do???

[Margot_In_Oz]

Hi all,

I have a three month old daughter (my first) and she's been sleeping in an amby hammock in our bedroom since she was born. We have decided to buy a cot for her, as the hammock is very hot and she gets very sweaty even without any bedclothes on her. She also loves her dummy but when it falls out or is spat out, it ends up underneath her due to the mattress not being flat and her arching her back.

So... my question is, when I get the cot, should I put it in our room or into my daughter's own room?

She is going to have the transition of hammock to cot to deal with. So I am concerned whether the change to her own bedroom at the same time will be too much at once.

My other concerns/issues are:

- our bedroom and her bedroom are a long way apart and I'm worried about having to walk so far every time she needs feeding, settling or her dummy put back in (particularly during the night), as I'm already so tired

- I work from home during the day and again, it's a long walk to check on her (she wakes quite often during the day and I'm always re-settling her)

- my husband would like her in her own room now (originally he said two weeks max, so I'm amazed I've managed 3 months!). At the same time, he's unlikely to help by getting up during the night and bringing her to me for feeding, or re-settling her.

- is she too young to be in her own room, especially as its at the other end of the house?

My mother is angry that I'm even considering putting her in her own room so soon, as she says that it's dangerous. She says I won't be able to hear her and she'll be too far away - something about if she stops breathing etc. She also thinks I'm going to be exhausted, going back and forward to her all the time. And that I'll never get any work done.

I explained that I have a video/audio monitor so I can continually hear her if she stirs and that I can 'watch' her while I work. And that if she stopped breathing, I probably wouldn't know anyway, no matter which room of the house she was in. (I really don't want to buy yet another monitor, that monitors breathing, as I've spent so much on the video one).

And as much as I'd like to have her beside my desk as I work, it's not professional for my clients to hear a baby in the background while I'm on the phone, as most of my clients don't know that I work from home.

So what should I do??? Is there any particular age that babies find it easier to transition into their own room?

Any advice would be much appreciated!!

Thanks,
Margot.

PS Sorry for the long post, I'm just really confused about what to do.

[Phteven]

Margot, maybe you could start with the cot in your room and then move it later so that the change isn't so sudden. Yasin used to sweat in his hammock and now he is in his cot he still sweats so maybe another option might be a freestanding air-con unit or fan.
I think that you have to do what seems right for you not what will make your mother happy. My DH is hopeless at waking up at night because of his selective deafness but I find that a kick in the shins often seems to aid his hearing .

[Fi]

I had jenna in a cot in our room until she was about 6.5 months - it ended up being a month too long as we found we were actually keeping her awake with our noises.
The transition to her room after that was a VERY smooth one for all involved! We got heaps more sleep and so did she. It also meant we could listen to her night noises and know whether she needed us or if she would put herself back to sleep as we were very familiar with what she did during those noises if that makes sense? Like we knew when she grunted a certain way she was wriggling out of her swaddling, or when she breathed a certain way she was just rolling over.
Also there is something very special about waking up to those little eyes every morning. Soooo nice

[Debbie Lee]

Margot - I would definitely suggest having the cot in your room to begin with. I have found that with big changes, small steps is the way to go. Whilst Gabby has always slept in her own room, whatever changes I have made have been in small stages. For example, we are in the process of trying to get Gab to sleep unwrapped as she has been wrapped since birth. I have started putting her in a sleeping bag at night only (as this is when she is more tired and able to fall asleep without distractions) and it is working so far. She's waking up more than if she was wrapped but it's getting better. Once she has it down pat, I'll start putting her sleeping bag on for her day-time sleeps too.
So, perhaps you could just do one nap in the cot to start off with? Or, because she is used to that swaddled feeling, wrap her tightly to sleep in the cot with a muslin or cot-sheet?

My mother is angry that I'm even considering putting her in her own room so soon, as she says that it's dangerous.

I honestly don't see how this is so..... as I said, Gab has been in her own room since we brought her home (we just couldn't sleep with her in the same room). We have a monitor so we can hear if she needs us. Don't let your Mum bully you - you know what is best for you and your child. The last thing you need is a guilt-trip put on you when it's SO obvious you are doing a magnificent job!

[Visitor9]

I found moving Eliza out of our room really upsetting, the first night was horrendous, I'm still laughing about having the monitor to my ear all night. My suggestion would be to put the cot in your room for a short time to adapt to the different sleeping arrangement they tend to be alittle lost in the big cot. And then when you feel comfortable with that move her when you feel is the right time for you both
Bec

[dee73]

Dylan has been in his own room from day 1... we have an angelcare monitor which has sound and movement sensors so an alarm would sound if he stopped breathing. I don't see how having a baby in your room is any safer as how would you know if they stopped breathing if you were asleep yourself???

[~Raven~]

Both of my boys spent a few weeks in a cradle in our bedroom before I put them into the cot in their own bedroom.
I had a baby monitor but I didn't use it as I heard them fine without it and their bedrooms were at the end of the house, but I left the door open. If the door was shut I don't think I would have heard them.

Personally I didn't like them in the bedroom after a while because they kept me awake. I had a more restful sleep once they were out of the room, not to mention DH could get up and go to work without waking up the baby.

[Pietta]

Ryley slept in our room until about 3 months and then he went into his own cot and slept in our room for a little while in his port a cot while he got used to it.

He has slept in his own room from about 9 months on.

[Juliette]

Hi!

Hannah is in a portacot beside our bed at night, but sleeps in her own room and cot during the day. This way she's getting used to the cot and room/surroundings for when I eventually put her to sleep at night in her own room.

You have to go with what you feel is right for your family. I have friends who have had their baby in their own room from the word go, and another friend who has her 3 year old sleep in her bed still. Personally for me, I'd like to have Hannah in our room a little longer for the simple reason that it's easier to get up to her at night! I have tried her in her own room, but she wakes just as often and it's more hassle for me. Others I notice have found that bub sleeps better on their own! It's a tricky decision 'cos there really is no one right answer (don't you hate shades of grey?? lol).

[Tracey]

Dee I am the same day 1 Indah was in her own room, in a big cot.
I personally cant sleep when all I can hear is snuffling noises & baby noises, we have our door & Indah's door open & Maddy's door is closed, but she has never once woken up from Indah..
I have never used a monitor either, I can hear her just fine without one.

[Margot_In_Oz]

Thank you all sooooo much! You've really put my mind at ease.

We bought a Boori cot at DJ's 10% sale yesterday, and DH put it together in her room while I was asleep yesterday - before I got to discuss sleeping arrangements with him. As it can't fit through a doorway, I can't move it into our bedroom without disassembling it.

So I think I will try sleeping her in her cot in her room during the day and letting her stay in the hammock at night, for now. At least until she starts sleeping longer. And the hammock is cooler at night.

Thanks again everyone!!

Margot

[Debbie Lee]

That's excellent, Margot. Let us know how you go

[~Jo~]

Hope it works out well for you Margot

Jo