How can I encourage DS to be more independent and mix with his peers

[lilima]

DS has just turned 2. He basically hates it if I or DH are out of his sight. He follows me around the house, and if I leave the room and he can't find me, he cries.

Also he will not play with kids his own age. He will happily run around with older kids, but he almost seems frightened of kids his own age. If a child approaches him, he gets a little upset/anxious and moves away. Should I be concerned? Do you think that I need to have him assessed?
He has a nice nature, can be boisterous at times, is speaking at the correct level for his age, gives lots of cuddles and kisses, and listens to me well (as good as any 2 yo listens) He loves being read to, and playing run around games etc. I am an overly anxious person, and I am hoping to hear that this behaviour is normal.

[lilima]

I forgot to add that he was once hit by a child while at playgroup. This was about 4 months ago. Maybe that has something to do with it?

[Ellibam]

children dont play with other children until about 3.. so i wouldnt be to worried about that side of things he will play eventually (when they are doing something he likes)
if you are overly anxious that is where he is learning those behaviours from, you might step back in a group so he steps back to he is coping his mummy(his favourite person in the world)
maybe ask at his next check up but i think it is just the type of child he is! sensitive to change, loving and affectionate in his family group!

[Phteven]

It sounds very normal to me. At his age it's normal not to play with other children the same age - when children his age play together they tend to do parralel play which is where they will do the same activity side by side rather than beside each other.
Funnily enough one of the best ways to encourage independence is to let them stay as close as they want. The security of knowing that you're always there for him will give him more confidence to venture away when he is older.

[lilima]

Thanks for the advice. He doesn't even seem to want to parellel play with kids his own age. Will prallel play wiht older children (ie over the age of 3)
I suppose when I go to mothers group (and there are only 4 of us) The other 3 seem to follow each other around and interact together, and James just does his own thing, or sticks with me. If one of them get too close to what he is doing, he immediatly stops playing with the toy and runs to me upset

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

DS only plays with those children 3 or over - at Nursery they just let him play with the big children. If he gets upset then he goes back to the "baby" area until he's ready to play again. But he doesn't parallel play either with young children; he'll play, but not what they're doing and all by himself.

I know another young lad who has just become super clingy; his mother is pregnant too. Maybe it's sensing that you won't be there just for him any more? Which is not a bad thing; it's great he's doing it now rather than in 6m time.

[Lucy]

I am not sure if it helps at all, but Lexie has just tuned two, and sounds very similar to your DS. She will play quite happily with her siblings but not with her peers.

At a Mummies group park date, for instance, she will try and play with her siblings, but NOT with the other 2 year olds.

She will only play with Olivia and Charlie for short bouts of time, then will come back to me: this is whether we are at home or at the park.

If I remember back, Olivia was the same: she would play for short bouts with her cousin only, no one else. And Charlie has always been reticent to "let go" of me. He is 3.5 and only recently has started spreading his wings.

I am pretty sure it is "normal".

Funnily enough one of the best ways to encourage independence is to let them stay as close as they want. The security of knowing that you're always there for him will give him more confidence to venture away when he is older.

Dach is spot on here, I think.........

[maz]

Oh honey...firstly stop over annalising things....I think its hard when yourve been in a field and seen to many children in the respect of what your thinking is wrong.

After having a 2 yo with autisum and now Vy I tell ya there is a BIG difference. I would be more worried about him not communicating with you and DH at this age. Wilhilm totally ignored me and lived in his own world until he was 4..and from what my friends with children in the smae situation have told me..they all lived the same role.

Vyolett wont even ackoledge her grandparents hwen they are here....she tells them no and wont look them in the eye..god help it when we see a child her age..she screams and tells them no. she plays very happily and bossily with her borhters (queen bee) but get her around strangers and other children we have stunned mullet. Vy helps me around the house and honestly I cant remember the last time I went to the loo with out her company.

I would be more concerned if he was still showing these signs at 4 years of age btu if you are honestly that worried and have a gutt feeling, talk to your MCHN what she thinks and ask for a referal to pead to voice your concerns.

But honestly...i think he's a perfectly normal healthy little boy

[Ellibam]

megiemoppit i wanted to come back in here(esp after your other post to) and say that when i see this type thing with makon(ie he isnt doing what others are doing ) that i then know i need to work and focus on that area with him. so he isnt jumping play lots of jumping games. or he isnt talking alot .. talk constatntly ask lots of questions make sounds even have babble convos just to get noises happening.
so dont become anxious about it use it as your way of taking note of the areas you want to help him improve on.

[lilima]

Hi all,
I jsut wanted to come in and say that DS has been playing quite nicely with other children his age in the past 2 weeks. he played for hours with another 2 yo on cup day. Also was at the play centre with Mothers group on Monday, and he was really happy. I have realised that when he cries when other kids come too close is because he thinks that they are going to take what he is playing with, or push him out of the way to get into his space.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

[canberramomma]

Yup, all normal here!

Bub is working at getting my attention, so is DS, so are DD 9 and DD21, plus hubby.

Kids just wanna know that they are the most important things in your life!

Don't sweat it. You are doing a great job.

Your bub sounds perfectly 'normal' to me!