My DD is 2.8yrs old and has been having nightmares. A couple of days ago it was about a bear. I could not calm her down and after 40min I gave in and rocked her in our recliners to sleep. Luckily we were still awake at that time.
Last night she woke at 11:30pm and was yelling out to me. I waited for a little while and then got up. She said there was a lion. She got so hysterical when I would mention that she has to stay in her own bed and when I would go to leave she would get even more upset. So I gave her a drink of water, stayed and tried to talk sense into her that the lion is not real, it was just a dream and that mummy will stay with you untill you fall asleep. All that was not good enough. So I got daddy in. He couldn't talk sense into her either. All she wanted to do is go into mummy and daddy's bed. So he layed on the floor and she still wouldn't stop. Then I came back in and talked to her again about the lion not being real and she FINALLY layed down. After 15min DH left her room and she started screaming again. At that point (1hr later) I had enough and gave in and put her into our bed. I just wanted to get some sleep (we had a shocker the night before with her having croup).
Luckily she was ok during the night. Normally she kicks and hits and moves about so much that we don't get a good sleep. And I don't want to encourage her to sleep in our bed either. I know nightmares are very real and scarey for children, so I am not saying she is being silly. I just want to be able to settle her without her having to sleep in our bed.
So.... has anyone got any tips on how to tackle this? Would a nightlight help?
I would go the nightlight as a start. The light in Steph's room has a dimmer, which stays on all night (unfortunately I don't think most flouro globes are suitable for dimmer switches). I think it keeps her happy, she can see her room if and when she wakes during the night, so she can keep her bearings. If DD says there is a bear or a lion or whatever, turn the light up, open the cupboard, some drawers, etc, and 'show' her there is nothing there. Some children don't like it when their toys 'look' at them, so maybe if she has lots of dolls or animals that face the bed, turn them in a different direction.
Would also suggest a bedtime toy, if DD hasn't got one already? Steph has a few toys that she really likes, and she takes one to bed with her. She can go to sleep without, but she likes to cuddle up with something sometimes, so its part of our bedtime habit. A toy may help her feel more secure? Maybe if you tell her something along the lines that ted bear (or whatever its called) will keep her company all night, and be there for her to cuddle if she needs to or has a bad dream, or something like that.
I'm not sure what else to suggest. Its hard not to just take them into your bed, especially in the middle of the night when you have been sound asleep yourself. I made that habit with Steph when she would wake in the early morning, but have managed to get out of it.
My Dad's new wife used to be a nanny, and if her charge' would scream, she would tell them that the baby birds are sleeping, and that their screaming will wake the baby birds. That might work? I tell Steph that Daddy and all the lizards and fish are sleeping, but I'm not sure if she pays it much attention. I think the words 'Daddy', 'lizards', and 'fish' get her attention more than anything.
Best of luck, and I hope that something there helps.
My sister was a nanny and when her kids had a nightmare like that, she gave them a spray bottle with water and a couple of drops of essential oil. They were allowed to "scare" the nightmare away by spraying it. It worked with them but they were 3 and a half and 5. Your DD might be a bit young though.
I'm in 2 minds about the spray. On one hand it empowers them but on the other hand by buying into it you're saying (in not so many words) that 'yes, there is a lion, monster etc' which can make it more real and scary.
Maybe you can get her a torch and tell her that having a torch helps you to be more brave. That way you're not confirming that there is a lion but still giving her a means of empowerment. She can also use to torch to check for lions so she can see that there isn't one. You could choose an essential oil that is calming and soothing to help keep bad dreams away.
Have you spoken about it durin the daylight. If you talk about it now it might help. I liken them to TV they might be scary but they're not real and they can't hurt you.
It's kind of a hard line to tread - to show empathy for their fear and recognise that the fear is real whilst not buying into it too far.
Thankyou so much for your ideas ladies I will try them all out and see how we go.
Atm the lion has gone on holiday and is far away (so she believes) and that is working so far. My sister was on holiday recently and I would say to DD that she was far away. I know this is telling her that the lion that she dreamt about was real but I was lost for what to do and this has worked (so far).
She went to bed with no trouble last night and didn't wake either, so fingers crossed it stays this way.
Toddler having nightmares... please help!
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks