hi december
I am in a similar situation.
DD is almost 17 months now and DS is almost 1 month. Her behaviour has changed a little - mostly in public i find ie wont go in the pram if i am carrying DS and throws her food etc etc.
i am atm ignoring her behaviour and when she is well behaved making the biggest doo over it as possible.
She wants to climb over me when BFing - so i do let her sit next to me and we will read a book while i BF DS and i let her stroke his head or hold his hand.
I think the more of a reaction you give him the more he will play up for your attention. So try ignoring his behaviour and praising good behaviour and find ways to involve him (as i know you will be spending a lot of time with the newborn if yours is aything like mine - ie crying 8 hrs a day!!).
Ask him to help get the nappy - or get an outfit to change him into..
when bub crys ask DS where the baby is.. lets go find him - a fun game and praise when he helps you.
Try to have meals ready for him when you are feeding so it is like a family meal time then he doesnt feel left out.
See if he wants to 'read the book to the baby' and praise when he does so...
mmm when i think of some more ill let you know.
As for dinner.. when DD refused dinner and throws her fork and meal across the room i tell her she is finished , wipe her clean and put her down. she stays down from her highchair until we are finished our dinner - we ignore her tantrums and she goes to bed without dinner. Might sound harsh but we did this for about a week and the past few nights she has been a dream at dinner time!!
Your DS sounds very much like mine at the moment. However, the cause might be different. My DS1 is not reacting to DS2 (well, that is my opinion), as he was completely fine with him after about 2 days. I actually think my DS1 is going through the terrible twos. He turned 2 in August and has only started misbehaving in the last week or so with tantrums, not listening etc. He only does it when he gets frustrated because I don't understand him, I say no to something he wants (i.e. to continue playing when we need to go home) or he is trying to push his boundaries a bit. Other than that, he is the perfect boy he always was .
I think PinkPalace has pretty much said it all about how to deal with it IMO.
When Daniel was born, Caitlin turned 2 9 days later.
She had sole attention for 2 years.
Now she is suddenly expected to deal with a sibling and share the attention. Its obvious that there will be a reaction. I know how difficult it is for a new mother to have to worry about all these things. I thought that the lack of sleep would be easier to deal with with the second baby, but it wasn't.
When my son was born I made it a priority that Caitlin still got lots of attention. During my maternity leave I left the baby at home with my mum or nanny 1 day a week and I took Caitlin to a playgroup where she had my attention for 2 whole hours.
And then during the day I always tried to include her with my activities with the baby. Asked her to get a nappy, let her watch while I gave him a bath etc.
Of course she still sometimes tried to pinch him or something but I gave her the space and time to deal with the change. Also, my husband played a huge part in spending lots of time with her too.
Maybe try talking to your son, if you haven't already, about the new baby. Ask him how he feels about it and let him know that you love him as much as you did before the baby arrived. Make him feel special and who knows, that might help.
Also, if he is potty trained, expect him to regress. Its normal. My daugher was fully potty trained for a month before baby arrived. As soon as he was born, she regressed completely and only fully potty trained again 5 months later. I was told that the birth of a new baby is that stressful for them.
Good luck. I know how difficult it is. Holding thumbs that it gets better for you.
toddlers behaviour with new baby
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