On the weekend wenwent to visit my cousin, his wife and there 3 week old baby.
DS told me he doesnt like babies, and he doesnt want to be a big brother.
He gets very upset if other children sit on my knee, or his Grandmas, adn tell us to put them down. If we do, the then climbs on us and wont get off.
Im really worried about how he is going to handle a newborn coming home...when the time comes..
Its been suggested that we should get him a pet, and that he will have something of his own to look after etc when the baby comes home, would this help?
Hmmm a pet might work, a special teddy..something like that.
I thought the same thing with my DS, but really he only gets upset now if he is really tired and wants a cuddle and I'm holding her. the rest of the time he is mostly happy to sit next to us, and pat her head or something (yes, like she is a puppy!)
I have no first-hand experience with this however one of the girls who works for us recently had her second child. Her first was 1 when her second was born. In the last few months of her pregnancy her DS would get very upset when you even mentioned that he would soon be a big brother. He would turn his head and sulk. He would refuse to cuddle Mummy's belly and if you asked him where the baby was well he'd just walk away with a big frown on his face.
Needless to say that his mum was really worried about how she would handle two little ones if DS wasn't going to co-operate. She didn't have to worry. As soon as DD was born her DS was mesmerised by her. He absolutely loves her and won't let his little sister out of his site. He's always asking for her and when you now ask him if he's a big brother his face lites up and he's very proud.
I know this isn't the case with everyone but maybe your DS will settle into his new Big brother role easier than you think when the time comes.
My DS1 (Cooper) loves being a big brother. I gave Cooper a toy when DS2 (Adam) was born and said it was from Adam. Cooper thought that was fantastic. It took a couple of days for Cooper to accept that Adam was here to stay and someone was not going to take him away but once he worked that out, he was fantastic.
I make sure that Cooper and I have plenty of one-on-one time and when I am feeding Adam, Cooper sits beside me and we read together. I get Cooper to help bath Adam and dress him. I show him that he is so important and it helps that Adam lights up and gurgles when Cooper is close to him.
I recommend praising your DS whenever he does anything good, even going a little overboard in the first few weeks of bubs joining the family. Before the birth, maybe talk to DS about how fun it will be with bubs when bubs is a bit bigger. It helps that bubs will sleep alot during the first few months so you can still spend a lot of time with DS.
Mmmm, I don't know... Personally, there's no way I'd consider adding a pet into the mix, but I am a very anxious parent so for someone who's more normal than me it might be worth considering
Because he is still so young, the pet will realistically still be your responsibility, KWIM?
As others have said, he will possibly really surprise you.
Maybe an easy pet like a turtle or something ... a fish.... ooh a lizard... boys love yucky things like that.. lol
But seriously, my family (well mum and sister) were worried about DS cos he is just soooo clingy to me..... and close to my mum - in fact, when I was with mum one day and my sister had her newborn there, mum picked her up and DS cracked it big time!!! And my sister was like..oooh you are going to have trouble with this one when your bub comes along... but seriously.. he's actually not been too bad.... most of the time he is easily distracted if he wants a cuddle, I'll tell him to go grab some cars for mummy to play with him with... and he doesn't chuck too many tanties now about not getting all the cuddles and attention!!!!!
(mind you, he did yesterday when we were visiting a BB member - but he was overtired..and had never been there before)
I think a pressie from the baby is a great idea. My ds gave dsd 1 a journal and a scrapbooking kit and dsd 2 a baby born and a carrier/carseat thing. I don't think a pet is a good idea. My dsd 1 has had no problem with ds but she is 11. My dsd 2 was 4 when he was born and it was a bit harder for her. She would say she hated ds and she wished he wasn't here. We started spending more one-on-one time with her which helped. Also as ds got bigger a started smiling at her and now whenever she comes into the room ds laughs and jumps up and down & dsd loves it. They play together and I know she wouldn't give him up for the world. It took a few months but we don't have dsd all the time, it may have been quicker and easier if we did, I think it was also hard on her having to leave ds here so she was trying to not get to close to him so it didn't hurt as much when she went home. I'm sure your ds will be fine. Just try to spend lots of time with ds and include him in helping with the bubs as much as possible. Best of luck.
I thought my DS would be really jealous to as he has always been a mummys boy. I had a little girl sitting on my lap one day while DS was playing outside, he came in and pushed her off my knee and sat there himself. I was aobut 4mths pregnant then and really worried about how he'd be with a new baby. Everytime I asked him if we are having a baby soon he'd cry and say NO MUMMY! But as soon as DD was born he loved her so much and had nothing but affection for her. The only trouble I had was when I was feeding her and he soon got over that.
I wouldn't go as far as getting a pet unless you are prepared to look after it, DS has 2 fish which he feeds most days but I have to clean the tank and feed them when he doesn't remember. I found newborn dolls that I had when I was little and gave them to DS so he had "his babies" to look after, he rocked them to sleep, gently kissed them goodnight and threw them in the bassinette! Maybe that helped him accept his new little sister??
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Worried about how DS will go with number 2 bub
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