does the fear disappear???

[PinkPalace]

MIL has asked to take DD out tonight for a few hours to see the christmas lights

i have butterflies in my tummy of nervousness.
She hasnt really gone with out me anywhere , especially someone else driving her in their car.

I know it sounds very stupid but i am a lioness with my children!!!

will the fear of leaving them with other people (outside my home) subside?

[visitor1]

For me it started when DD1 was 5 months old and i went back to work 2 days a week so she was in FDC.
The fear went after about 2 weeks....now i never hesitate leaving either of them with people i know!

[Jewel]

I still get a bit iffy and nervous when DS1 goes with family members even for short periods. He didn't start going with them without me or DP until he was like 3.

Sorry I can't help any.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

i think once she goes out with MIL a few times and u see she comes back safe it will get better.

[PinkPalace]

Thanks girls
it is just hard because she screams blue murder with MIL and it breaks my heart.
the poor little darling

[Kirst11]

My DD2 who is a similar age to yours has never been anywhere with anyone except for DH or myself, and I can completely understand your reservations. DD1 went out without DH or myself for the first time in about September.

If you're a lioness, then I guess I am too.

DD1 goes to Kindy and DD2 does one day in care. I trust them more than my MIL.

I think that mine stems from the fact that we moved interstate when DD1 was about 5 mths old, and I never had any friends or family to help. It was just her and I for so long that I just didn't have anyone. It's only just now that I have made good enough friends to trust them to take my baby.

The adult I let her out with was a gf and her daughter (they go to Kindy together) and was fine, but to be honest I would still have reservations letting her go with my MIL.

[mrsmac]

I think the more you do it the calmer you are about it, also the more children you have LOL You have to let them go or they become insecure and nervous but its hard when its your first. I still worry about DD and she is 17 but that's a whole new ball game !

[MantaRay]

It does get easier over time hun. I felt the same way the first time MIL took DS1 out. But now she looks after the boys 2 days a week and often takes them on outings. It no longer worries me as I have gotten used to it.

[Charlyfrog]

MIL has looked after DD#1 lots but its taken a long time for me to be at peace with the deal, but its because I have these weird thoughts that no one can look after her as good as DH & I can so we used to leave ALOT of DETAILED instructions *blush* My mum is a completely different story as we have had to work through a lot of trust issues.....so her child minding began with simply sitting and watching TV as we'd have put the girls to bed Oddly enough, DH & I found ourselves in a situation where we just had to trust this week as we were both so sick at the same time, we couldn't do anything! So MIL had the girls for over 24hours in her care - yes we were at home but quarantined to our room. So MIL fed, watered, put to bed the girls etc and guess what?! They're still alive!! And then just today, I had to do the shopping but I am still so drained of energy I asked my mum to be at home with the girls just so I could go get it done........the girls were fine (and my washing folded and floors swept! Lol!)

So I completely get how you feel PP so I think its just a matter of time of doing this regularly, for your sake and your little ones (not to mention the thrill grandparents generally get! Hehehe) So maybe you could start with regular short times of leaving your little one/s with others.....even as simple as them being the primary carer in your own home while you're there, then progress to you going out for a short time, then longer, then your little one's going to someone's house etc...... this is kind of how I eased myself into the peace factor of allowing others to care for my precious treasures. Everyone benefits too as it eases the little ones into knowing that its ok to be with this certain person without mummy iykwim?

I'm still a control freak and its taken a long time (years!) but its like a breath of fresh air to know that there are other people I can trust with my children and while they may not do things exactly the same way, its not wrong, just different (as long as they follow basic guide lines of food intake, activities etc Hahahaha.....there I go again! ) Having said all that too, I don't let just anyone care for my girls, even if the potential carers are related!!

Don't know if that's helped any or if I've simply woffled *blush*