Questions about 8 month old

[KimmyF]

Not sure if im posting in the right place so mods feel free to move if needed.
My DS is 8 months old and BF he wakes at least twice a night and lately I have had to feed him to get him to settle, this is usually around 4am. if i don't feed him i am up for at least 45 mins trying to settle him. Also he still does not have any teeth!
His night time routine is tea at around 6pm, bath then a little play then a story and feed at about 8pm then off to bed by 8.30. have no trouble getting him to sleep but its the waking during the night thats is the problem! but i wonder if its due to teeth... although he hasn't slept through for ages!

So I guess what i want to know is are there other 8 month olds who do similar things and do they still have night time BF? Cos a lot of people are telling me he doesn't need it and should be sleeping through! I have posted a simlar question awhile ago when i was being pressured to give him formula at night but he was about 6 months then i think.

Sorry if this is not making any sense! but nay advice would be welcomed!

[Mum2Willie]

Hi! I can only tell you what I have experienced. My bub slept through from 8weeks. Then at 5 months he started waking. So I introduced solids and within a few weeks he was sleeping again. At around 7 months he started waking again and I really made a big effort to up his solids again. Slept through again. Then the teeth hit! He stopped sleeping through before they actually cut - he has been terrible for last 5 weeks - 5 teeth! But he slept through for last two nights again - but now he has 5 solids meals per day.

Also I fed at night whenever he woke at night! It would always settle him more quickly...

Good luck - hope you find the answer - but with bubs we always seem to figuring something new out!!! Well, I am anyway..

[krisp]

Both my 2 have been shocking night sleepers and both cut their first teeth late - DS at 11 months and DD at 12. Formula made no difference, solids made no difference so I stopped questioning what I could do to "fix" it. DD still wakes 2 or 3 times a night, usually only 1 feed though. She did sleep through for 3 nights in a row about 2 months ago and we thought she had the hang of it but once those teeth started moving it all went out the window!

[Lolli]

Hi
My ds had no teeth till 9 months old. he now has 10
And he still wakes at night at least once for a bf. In fact he has never slept throught he night, ever. Solids made no difference. he wouldn't take formula but I imagine that would have made no difference.

They like to tell you that by 8 months babies no longer 'need' to feed at night, but I think babies know what they need, not mchn's. how would you feel if someone said- "sorry, you don't need a drink a night if you wake up thirsty- you are not having one'. Some people wake up at night for sustanence, and babies are no different.

I have heard some people have had fantastic success with giving water at night. That didn't help here. Nor did a radio, a night light, a teddy... the list goes on.

Does your bub have a dummy? I only ask because a friend of mine recently took her dd's dummy away due to night waking- and bubs now sleeps 10 hours at a stretch.

That all is probably not much help... just be reassured your bub is very normal, I think the night waking is part of being a baby. Enjoy the early hours feeds and cuddles- they will be gone before you know it.

[BhoysGirl]

Kimmy,

don't you just love all the advice we receive as mum's.
I, too, have a bub that doesn't want to sleep through, even now, and your description of your 8mo sounds exactly like my DS at the same age. From memory, he cut a couple of teeth at around 8mths, but we still only have 10, so quite a way to go, and he's now 17mths.

for me, the sleeping issue came down to what was an issue for me, not what others thought. I also had people telling me to cut out the overnight feeds from about 6months, but my gut feeling about my DS was that he wasn't ready for me to do this, so I didn't worry about it until he was around 13months, and even then I wasn't really strict enough to cut it out fully, cos he got sick & a BF was the easiest way to help him feel better. At the end of the day, I'm the one having to get up if I choose to BF, and as long as I'm not complaining about it, then I can't see why anyone else really gets to have a say about it. And like LoriRae & Kris, solids made absolutely no difference to us.

If it is starting to worry you and you would like to make a change for your well-being, the Elizabeth Pantley No Cry Sleeping solution book is one that I found had some good techniques. I'm not actually organised enough to follow through with things, especially as I've been happy to go with the flow,so I can't say that what she writes about worked for us, but I did really like her very gentle approach, so if I was going to follow someone's ideas then I'd probably use hers.

Good luck with it though - hopefully when the teeth do make an appearance it's not too much of a drama.

[kelebek]

First of all massive night waking can be so tiring and when you have people around you telling you how you DS 'should' be doing it can make it even harder.

How do you feel about the night waking, is it an issue for you?

My DS has always woken up at night (at it's worse every 90 mins when he has been teething/growth spurt) even now he still wakes up 2/3 times a night. I have always feed him to sleep cause it was the quickest way to get him to settle again, now he only wakes for a fee & then is back to sleep straight away.

Yes I do dream of the day he sleeps for 4/5 hrs straight ahh sounds like heaven

[KimmyF]

The night time waking is beginning to become an issue as when he wakes i go in re wrap him back up, put his dummy back in and resettle by either cuddles or patting him off to sleep, if he wakes around 4am i will give him a BF but am tryiing not to before then. LAst night he woke at 1.40 i was in his room with him until 2.45 and he would not settle, i would nearly get him to sleep and he would cry to wake himself up, i was so exhausted that i was crying myself, i was just about to feed him when DH came in and said that i need to be harder on him and he sent me back to bed, DH wrapped him up put dummy in and let him cry, 15mins later DH went back in did the same and he fell asleep, all the while i am laying in bed crying listeniing to him cry. He then slept until 6.30am when he woke then he came in to our bed for a feed and went back to sleep with me until 9am
I don't understand what i have done wrong to make him this unsettled at night, he won't settle for anyone but me unless he is left to cry until he wears himself out and i can't stand letting him cry. I am going back to work on the 27th of this month nd am worried about how we will both cope on this amount of sleep let alone my guilt and worries of leaving him in family day care and how the poor woman will cope with this baby that wont settle and is now refusing a bottle!
Aggh sorry this has turned into such a whinge but i am so tired, worried and upset about everything its clouding my thinking and i don't know what to do! Please pass on any words of wisdom or advice to help me get through this

[Lolli]

A huge Kimmy- I have been where you are now, it wasn't that long ago and i completley understand your frustrationa dn the pure bone exhaustion. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing- it's actually used as a form of torture- and it does mess with your mind. I wrote a thread about how damn tired I was a few months and it's helpful to know others are doing it tough too- I'll see if I can dig it up for you.

I am lucky enough to not have had to go back to work, so I can't really help you there. But I promise you this will pass, and it will happen soon- it will not go on forever.

Some quick questions- Does your bub sleep during the day? Can he go to sleep without being wrapped? And it is possible to put bubs in bed with you- my ds is in his own bed until he wakes (usually about 1ish) then comes into our bed- we all sleep better that way, and I don't have to get out of bed to feed him, so I'm not so tired and there is minimal screaming.

Hun, it's quite possible this could be related to teeth as well. Or maybe developemental- once bubs starts learnign new skills, like sitting up, crawling, etc, they will often wake a lot at night because they have a compulsion to 'practice' them- very cute, but not at 2am

For me, it's easier to just feed ds and we all go back to sleep- I can't handle the heartbreak of the hours of screaming. But I understand you have to go back to work. There is a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution that I have heard good things about, so that may be useful?

Hang on in there. There is nothing you did to cause this- a lot of babies (and their poor, tired mothers) go through this. It will pass, I promise. In the meantime, take care of you- nap during the day if you can, and try to go to bed early. Drink lots of water and eat good food. You are doing a fantastic job.

[onthefly]

Kimmy - you haven't done anything wrong!
DS was always a not-so-good sleeper, at times a terrible one. by 5 months had greatly improved, even slept through a couple of times. Then at 6 - 7.5 months he was dreadful. no idea why. He woke up constantly and often wanted to feed. Not just for comfort, he was really hungry. I tried feeding more during the day and it helped a bit. What really helped was setting up a mattress on the floor in his room and co-sleeping.
Things got a lot better. He slept through a few times again.
Then recently he began teething. A horror week before his first tooth came through. then a few good nights. Then some bad ones before the next tooth. Then some good ones. Now there are some top ones coming and it's been bad again.
when he's teethign he needs to feed through the night - 2-3 hourly. It's hard. And I work, so I hear you on the stress you're feeling.
I'm like other posters here i guess, I just go with the flow. If he needs it I do it and I know it won't last forever - that's what gets me through.

first - it WILL get better... one day.
Second - don't worry about how your baby will be in daycare. Your DS will find a new routine and different things work for different people. I worried the same thing when our babysitter started. How would he ever sleep without me? But she has no trouble getting him to sleep at all...
Third - I appreciate your DH is trying to help you, but if you're not happy then it's not good... Maybe have a talk about this and see if you can work out some other way that he can help you. Maybe sometimes your DS really does just need you. But maybe sometimes daddy would do.
Fourth - definitely do whatever you can to make life easier for yourself and get the care you need also.

[KimmyF]

Thanks lori rae and marcellusthe last two nights have been a bit better, am feeding if he wakesand it has been around 4 hours since last feed.
To answer your questions Lori he doens't like to sleep without being wrapped have tried to stop this but he isn't ready yet, he sleeps really well during the day, has usually 1 to 1and1/2 in the mornign and usually around 2 hours in arvo.
I definately reckon it is the teeth causing some problems but also i think he might be having a growth spurt, is this commen around 8 months?
DH and I have agreed letting him cry is NOT an option and we aren't going to do it anymore, so I am very happy about that he listened to why i hate it so much and has agreed its not what we want to do.
LAst night we were at a BBQ so he had a feed when we got home and was in bed by 10pm woke up for a feed at around 3am was asleep by 3.30am and woke at 7.15am got into bed with me and had antoher feed and he fell asleep until 8.45am so am very happy with that.
it was nice to hear marcellus that your baby sitter had no troubles with sleep so lets hope the same will apply with ds, hwoever to help the family day care lady out i am giving him day time sleeps in the portacot to get him used to this.
Thanks again for all your help and i will try and lose the mummy guilt that it is all my fault. i really appreciate the support

[Lolli]

LAst night we were at a BBQ so he had a feed when we got home and was in bed by 10pm woke up for a feed at around 3am was asleep by 3.30am and woke at 7.15am got into bed with me and had antoher feed and he fell asleep until 8.45am so am very happy with that.

Kimmy at my house that would be an fantastic night, even at this age!!

Growth spurts will definately cause night wakings and more frequent feedings.

Hope it just keeps getting better

[onthefly]

Glad you had a good night. I find that just 2-3 good nights (and by good I mean only 2-3 wakeups!!) can really help to make me feel better and cope with the bad nights.
Knowing that it's probably teething and/or a growth spurt helps too - you know it'll pass!

It's a great idea to get him used to the portacot. Just trust that he will adapt. We went out for dinner one night recently; the first time since DS was born. I was worried that my mum wouldn't be able to get him to sleep; that he'd scream for me and boobies.... but nup. He went to sleep, at his usual time, with no fuss at all. In fact it was probably easier for her than it usually is for me!!

[KimmyF]

Just wanted to let you know we had a GREAT night last night, in bed by 9pm and slept through until 7am!!!!!!! He hasn't done this for ages I must admit i kept waking up from about 3am waiting for him to wake up but he didn't! Not sure what i did different yesterday but whatever it was it worked! I actually fed him his vegies at tea time last night instead of lunch as it as sooo hot yesterday maybe that helped? Who knows even if i don't get another night like that this week i am still happy he did it!!! yay!!!!

[Lolli]

Yay Kimmy!! Bet you feel great. Enjoy it