Hello ladies, thanks for all your feedback on the Ella/Jessica question... very helpful. I still love both names but am a bit of a rebel at heart and kinda want to find something a bit 'less popular'. We still have some other ideas, so we'll see what we settle on in 18ish weeks time!
So... next question! Why did you give your child a middle name? Or if you didn't, why did you choose not to?
I really like the idea of a middle name but hubby is really against it. He hates his middle name (it's William which I think is lovely but it is associated with his grandfather who was a pretty nasty piece of work). He doesn't really see what the point of the middle name is, since nobody ever uses it in day-to-day interractions. And I'm struggling to come up with a counter-argument other than that I 'just like the idea' (which I accept is pretty lame!) and that it sounds nice(!!).
For me it adds meaning to the name in general (eg DD1's names collectively mean love peace & joy )
and its also a way to acknowledge family - Olive was my DH's grandmother who died before he was born and Joy is my mums middle name
HTH!
Middle names are often a way of preserving a family heritage (in my case, for a boy, it is William, James and Benjamin). I see it as a nice way to pay tribute to a family member or close friend, or to carry on a family name. Middle names also offer a nice balance between the first name at the surname.
If a middle name doesn't have a family link, generally it has a special meaning to the couple or family.
I don't have very good reasons - but I know that in my case, my son will have two middle names (it's family tradition) and my daughter will have a meaningful middle name - when I eventually have kids that is!
Seriously, give the kids middle names. My parents 'gave me two first names' (they're hyphenated) and I always, always, always (and still to this day) despise them for cheating me of being like everyone else and having ONE first name and ONE middle name.
The middle names DH and I chose for DD1 (and soon-to-be DD2) don't have any familial significance, they're just names that we both like, that sound good with the first names and our surname, and are easy to spell/pronounce. That, and it kind of 'belongs' to them more when attached to their middle name. I know a lot of Emilys, but only one Emily Paige (and yes, we do use her middle name quite often - people often ask what her full name is just out of curiosity, and of course when she's in trouble it's 'EMILY PAIGE RANKIIINNN, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW!').
My DH hates his first name but likes his middle name and always says if he could be bothered, he'd make everyone refer to him by his middle name. An old boyfriend of mine was known as 'Sam' by absolutely everybody, it wasn't until we'd been together for well over six months that I found out his first name was actually 'William' and that Sam was his middle name.. even his mum called him Sam. (So, having a middle name gives the kids another option if they really don't like their first name, they can insist that others refer to them by their middle name if they prefer it.)
Honestly though, I mean I know it's probably irrelevant these days because kids are getting around with some seriously oddball names anyway, but to me I always felt really left out and disappointed that my parents hadn't given me a middle name. Other kids made fun of me for it and I always wished that my mother had come to her senses and just given me a normal name, like a normal kid, so I could blend in.
So yeah, my advice - tell DH that his problem with middle names is solely because of HIS middle name and you wouldn't give your child the name of anybody who left a sour taste in your mouth - therefore, problem solved! Give the kids a middle name so that when they go to school, they feel normal. Actually, it lasts a lifetime - even now, when filling out documents, people are like, 'It says here to print your FULL name, can't you read?' and I have to explain that I've written the entire name my mother and father gave me, not much else I can do about it. It's a pain.
Last edited by Glamourcide; January 22nd, 2009 at 10:04 AM.
Not sure this is an argument for why you should have one but there are downsides to not having one as well...
My father and a few friends don't have middle names and all of them say they absolutely hate not having a middle name. As almost everyone has a middle name these days, they said it's really embarasssing when they're asked what their middle name is and when they say they don't have one the response is "why, couldn't your parents think of another name?"
My middle name is my nana's middle name (although she was known by her middle name) and we decided to name my daughter after her as well but used my nana's actual first name (Matilda) as my daughter's middle name. I have another friend who used her maiden name as the middle name for both her two boys (she did have a boy's name as her maiden name though).
Good luck convincing him! Would love to know how you go!!
I tend to think that a name doesn't look complete without a middle name.
Another thing to think about is that often at school they will talk about name and may research meanings etc. There is potential that they may be teased for not having a middle name cos it is the 'norm'. Or they may just feel left out. I think even when kid think their middle name is stupid/embarrassing they still love to share it.
I love the family heritage behind a lot of middle names too
like the other girls, i think there are many arguments FOR having a middle name - for one, it does sent you apart - there may be three Ella's in a school, but your DD will likely be the only one to have HER middle name. there is also the thought of handing down a family tradition, or naming your child, less directly, for someone you know and love (or admire)
for us, our DD will have two middle names - one to pay tribute to other members of our family, the other for something that is very representative of my DH and I. had she been a boy, first name would have been DH's dad's middle name (DH lost his dad young), his middle name a variation of DH's middle name that is also the middle name of godparents son (who was killed in an accident last year), third is a variation of my name, but also holds relevance to both DH and several members of my family.
we felt it important to give our child an identity that is solely hers, with names that are important to us. my bro's children all have three names, each of the middle names holds relevance to someone important in their life...
Some people do use them in day-to-day interactions.
I only sometimes call DS by both names, but lots of my cousins get called by their first and middle name, and some by one or the other depending on the person.
It isn't necessary really but its a nice gesture I think- especially if it is a family name.
Plus- its just fun to be able to pick 2 names!!
Perhaps your DH will like the idea of a son having his name as a middle name? Or for his daughter- a name from his family or a female you both admire?
My son's first name is very uncommon but his middle name is James after my father- who we both love to bits. Middle names can be a good way to 'traditionalise' an uncommon name.
My two girls have my fave two girls names as their middle names from when I was a kid (Arabella and Jade). Whilst pregnant both their first name's came to me like they were chosen for me, so that's why I had to have middle names, so my other fave's got used too!!
So for me it's totally just a way to use more names! Saying that if this baby is a boy, it will have DH"s middle name. That's really because there are no boys name's we liked enough after the one we have chosen.
Middle names so rarely get used, that it's more for you and your children than anything else. xo
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Why a middle name?
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