In Laws - Please Help - What do I do now?!?!

[Jo-O]

Hi All,

I'm hoping someone in here may have a suggestion that will help.

My MIL flatly refuses to abide by our rules for our DD!

DH and I are dead against haveing photos/videos of our DD posted on the internet (too many sicko's out there for my liking), and we have both made this very clear to MIL several times.

Over Christmas MIL, insisted on emailing photos and videos of DD to everyone she has ever met in her life, including DH's former teachers, former parish preists and even the local vet!
None of whom she has regular contact with, let alone DH or Iknowing these people!

Yesterday my DH discovered that MIL had set up her own Facebook page, so he called her and asked that she not post photo's of our DD on this, which she reluctantly agreed to.

Today we have discovered several photos of DD have now been added, after we specifically requested that she not do this!

We have tried to explain to her how important this is to us, but she just doesn't listen.

Does anyone have any ideas on how we can get through to her on this?

Thankyou for reading, sorry this ended up so long.

Jo

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I know it's hard to accept that they are just truly excited grandparents, but you may have to as there is not much you can do. I had similar issues with a friend, even further distant than my IL's and nothing could be done.

The way would be to stop giving her photographs and only have supervised visits where she has no opportunity to take photos, but is it really worth it?

YOu can also use the report option but to do so you would need to be able to access the photos, including creating your own account.

[Nai]

Jo, in this situation I think it would be fair to not send any photos of your DD to your MIL or allow her to take any photos until she agrees to your request. With Facebook you can report her as not having authority to post the photos - when she puts photos up she has to agree that she has the authority to post them.

[HotI]

I definately understand your concerns. It scares me how many photos of kids, along with names and other details is available through facebook and others. Does your MIL know about privacy settings, and to make her profile not accessible to the public?

I agree with Nai, if your MIL can't abide by your request, i wouldn't be providing her with photos or allow her to take them (the second bit is a bit trickier though).

What does she say when you ask her about it?

[Reborn]

I had kinda the same problem. The only way we could find to solve it was to say " If you wont abide by our rules, you cant take pics of our kid." It may sound heartless but it's the only way they realize it's not their decision to see or take pics of your child. It's not a right, its a privilage. And you can take that away anytime you damn well please.

I've been told that this is using your child to get your way. Frankly its not because this is YOUR baby. Not some piece of community property and if you dont want pics on the net then what you say is law. If she wants random people from the past to see YOUR baby (not just HER grandchild) than she can go for a drive and meet up with. Then she can see the looks on their faces while their thinking " Who are you and why are you showing me a pic of a cute baby?"

Good Luck. Any problems with he, feel free to send her my way. There's nothing I hate more than people THINKING they have a right to do what they want with someone else's baby.

[GlitterMum]

report her to facebook- They will close her page down.
She is not allowed to put up pictures that she doesnt have permission for, its in the terms and conditions of signing up to facebook.
Anyone can see those pictures on her profile.
I have reported someoe in the past and there is no way I would ever have picture of our child all over the net.

Goodluck hun

[Jo-O]

Thankyou all for your replies.

I do know MIL is a proud grandparent, but this isn't the first time she has knowingly gone against our wishes in regards to DD. She lives in a pretend world, where nothing bad ever happens to "Good People".

DH has already said he will report the photos to facebook if she doesn't take them off and I though about the option of no more photo's for MIL but I'm hoping it doesn't come to that for DH's sake, but if that's what it takes, then so be it.

Hopefully we will be able to resolve this without too many tears.

Thanks again for all your support ladies!

[The[cookie]Doctor]

She lives in a pretend world, where nothing bad ever happens to "Good People"

I know that one Good luck