DS is 3. I've always just put the way he acts down to him being breast fed for 2 years, a mummy's boy & having noone else around but me for the first 8 months of his life.
Then at DD2's OT assessment, it was suggested that he be referred to Early Childhood Intervention for his attatchment issues. This because when the OT tried to send him in to play in the assessment room with DD, he wouldn't let her close the door...
But now DD3 is 8 months old. I've been remembering back to when DS was this age & watching his behaviours more closely.
Even when DS was very small he didn't like others talking to him. I remember someone saying hello to him in his pram at 4 months old & he just started screaming... most babies would smile according to DD3 - stranger or not...
We moved up here, in with my parents for a bit, when he was 8 months old. He'd started the normal seperation anxiety they go through at that age, but kind of extreme (put it down to the difference between boys & girls, my girls being so social).
We lived with my parents for 3 months & he was only just warming up to them when they moved out & we kept their place.
In that time my sister, her friend & I went on a shopping trip. The friend sat next to DS & he screamed & screamed until my sister & the friend swapped seats.
At 11 months old I attempted leaving him for a night with mum. That night & every other time I tried over the next 6 or more months, she'd bring him home in the early hours of the morning coz he'd wake through the night & just refuse to go back to sleep for hours on end (I'm talking midnight - 6am!), no matter how tired.
He's always been shy. He has one friend he spends a few days a week with & has done for over 2 years & he will play with him. He will not interact with other kids his age at all. If I go to play group with just him & DD3, he will sit on me, or be wrapped around my legs the entire time. He won't let go. If his friend is there, he will go off with him & play. But he will not have anything to do with the other kids, even if they are all playing in a group IYKWIM.
He started daycare a few months ago. He is now forming a relationship with his teacher, but only that one teacher, even though he's kind of accepting of the others. He still won't talk to them.
After about 5 months, once a week there, he still doesn't interact with any of the kids there. Its only the past 3 times he hasn't been ripped from me kicking & screaming... He's accepting it & is now ok to go, with no fights at all.
Then there are his tantrums. I think its fair to say they are more than tantrums. Easily meltdowns.
He had his first one at 9 months old. I couldn't believe it. He laid on the floor of a friends house, kicking, scrreaming & throwing himself around for over half an hour. I could not calm him, or distract him, no matter what.
He still has tantrums/meltdowns like this. They last for an hour or more, over nothing. I've stopped taking him out in public & I think I'm starting to see that he's more prone to them when out doing things & being forced to be around people.
A few weeks ago I had to go do a few things on a non DC day. Pay my green slip, post my laptop back & go into the RTA. He sat in the pram & was ok while walking, but everytime we walked in a door he'd start. He stopped in GIO for a stamp, but started again when he realised we were going into the PO & RTA.
Shopping with him cannot be done. He runs & will run into the parking lot while I'm still shopping! (Hard when I have DD3 & my bag to grab before I can go after him. I end up feeling like my head is going to explode after shopping with him & thats without a melt down. Of course if he has one I get the stupid judging looks & comments Another reason I don't take him anywhere.
It was suggested that I take an MP3 player or something to listen to, so I'll try that on Monday when I have to take him again... see if it helps.
In the past blowing bubbles, movies & lining up cars have been what I use to calm him down.
He does other little things that drive me mad. Lining up his cars, looses it if things are put in the wrong place, has to take off his clothes if they are dirty... a drop of water is dirty...
I've realised recently that on a bad day, I'll spend the entire day purely avoiding a meltdown. & I'm more tense/on edge when I have to go out, because thats when he has the most trouble.
He's smart, has an unbelievable vocab, tells interesting stories & has a great memory. He has no issues with eye contact that I notice... though he doesn't look strangers in the eye unless he feels comfortable around them.
I think its pretty obvious its the over stimulation in public he can't handle. Having all that movement & noise around him. But I, again, have no idea if there's something more going on with him, or if he is just a difficult child.
Knowing what I do with DD2's SPD, I'd say that there's a possibility he has it too, & maybe he's an avoider (she's a seeker), but I just don't know.
Its been a few weeks & I haven't heard anything back from ECI. I'll try remember to ring them on Monday.
We have to move soon after being in this house for over 2 years & I'm really worried about him & how he's going to handle it.
I don't know what to think, what to do, or how I can keep doing this.
I don't even know the point of my post, except to get it all out somewhere
Just worried & stressed & needed a vent I guess...
Last edited by ~clover~; June 25th, 2011 at 10:23 PM.
Could you get him assessed asap so you could find out if there is an issue? My DS does this weird hand flapping thing and I will get him checked out soon.
No advice Hun, just want to give you a
I hope you can get some answers for J
MJ has had one or two of the meltdowns that were described in your FB post, they are horrid and heartbreaking to watch them so distraught, angry and out of control. I am sorry that you are going through this xx
I'm not sure. My dd loves ordering things, having things 'match' putting things in their right place etc...but I think that's fairly normal, albeit obsessive behaviors.
I also have a friend whose dd would scream if anyone touched her or looked at her, until she was over one. She is totally different now, but certainly on the shy side.
I have a gp appointment for July 15, referred already to ECI, will have to ring them & see how long it'll be before we can see them.
His bad days are at least once a week. & on those days he'll usually have more than one.
Didn't mention that he can't sleep til 11pm - 12am, no matter how hard I try. He just went to sleep about 3 seconds ago & seeing 10.53 on my clock makes me feel like its early!
Arcadia - I think, or thought alot of it was normal, although kind of extreme too, but he gets violent with the girls if they move something of his. I went to put the bin out on Tuesday night & he had an hour long screaming tantrum, then an hour or so of wimpering & yelling about it, all because i didn't take DD3 with me for the 3 seconds i was outside.
I'm sposed to be a mind reader. If I accidentally flush the toilet without knowing if he wants to or not (sometimes he doesn't) he can lose it. If I don't think & shut the front door when he was going to, it'll start a tantrum.
Its the violence & extremes he gets to that really worries me...
He still gets upset & cries over the dog we lost 2 years ago. The green car I sold 12 months ago.
Last edited by ~clover~; June 25th, 2011 at 11:04 PM.
So I lied. He wasn't asleep last night when I thought he was. He got up again. He asked for a piece of toast at about midnight, but then didn't want it. So another meltdown started with him slamming the fridge, drawers & cupboards shut over & over
He fell asleep, after watching space jam, at 1.30am...
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Don't know what to think?
Another reason I don't take him anywhere.
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