Could I really en dup with 4 boys all with issues?

[*Efjay*]

Far out... I had the school counsellor do an assessment on my 2nd oldest Glenn (6 yrs). His brother has a lot of anxiety problems also (he is 8). for years now I have felt Evan has aspergus. But as he gets older I am seeing more of the anxiety as being the main issues (although he has some interesting "ticks" coming out at the moment).
Anyway I asked for Glenn to be checked as he seems an overly sensitive boy & is behind a little at school, has had speech issues etc.
Just spoke with the school counsellor now who then emailed me her report. Almost all of it comes back clinical. She thinks anxiety is also the problem but recommends (because we are moving) that around mid 2011 we have a a cognitive and academic assessment down to work out why his learning is slow. She also recommends that when he starts his new school that he is careful placed in a supportive peer group.

I was also mentioning Iain, who is 2. How he is interesting with his behaviours. Likes to feel things on his head/face. Is a bit of a clean freak, gets focused on cleaning things especially with nappy wipes. Has to place food on his plate in its place, taps his nose on things (usually those metal prongs that hold the shopping bags out at the self serve check outs) & also how his main form of communication is to scream. I also said how he is very similar to Evan as a baby/toddler but the key difference is Iain is cuddly & affectionate where Evan never really was.
She kinds of just "hmmmm'd" & said that I should take him to see a pead when I get up to QLD.
I wonder was she just humouring me as the mother who thinks all of her boys have something wrong or did she really feel there was good reason to take him?

So now here I sit with yet another little man growing inside my womb & I am wondering... WTF am I doing wrong that is bringing this out in my boys. YES there is a strong family history of anxiety in both mine & DH's side. DH has suffered since a child also but has it mostly under control now, his father also suffers & I believe his sister also . I have siblings with similar problems.
But surly I can't have all 4 of my boys with these problems, can I?

[BellyBelly]

I've seen families of boys with one son with problems and one not. I am no expert but I guess some conditions and traits are dominant and others not, and we have no control over wiring... having dealt with anxiety with my DD which has gotten very bad at times, there is hope because they do make progress with the right care. I have a few books on it, have help from my naturopath etc... perhaps join a group/website that is specific to that (I got loads of help from the selective mutism site which is what DD has) and it made such a difference.

But to answer your question, your next son may or may not have anxiety like the other boys... there's no way you can tell. Fingers crossed - and make sure you get support for you too. I found that the more anxious I was, the more my daughter was. Sometimes her anxiety would make me anxious (its catchy). So give yourself as much help and support as them too.

[Early Kids]

It's nothing you are doing at all.