i just need a shoulder/ spare ear

[blizz]

Feeling a little bit overwhelmed at the moment, I went to collect DS (2yrs) from his daycare the other day and the director approached me and asked me about the language concerns that i'd mentioned at one point, she then moved in to, "have you thought about where DS may sit on the spectrum?" I was kind of taken by suprise and answered "well actually NO" but she then went in to the observations that they had made about DS 1- he has to put his drink bottle in the same place, 2- he likes to sit in the same place on the mat, 3-he doesn't follow direction, 4- he is upset easily by changes to routines and familiar staff finishing/ leaving the room.
She requested permission to have him observed by an Autism/speech specialist.
I had observed that DS's language was slow to develop but I then started hearing a lot more words occurring so decided to leave it until he turned 2 and a half before seeking assistance.
At home DS is affectionate towards myself (especially), his sister, and DH as well as comfortable and affectionate with familiar family members and friends.
he does like a familiar routine but doesn't fall apart if something happens to change this routine (unless he is already tired)
He sings nursery rhymes, and will look at books and recognise characters in them. He does mainly choose to play with cars, trains, motorbikes (anything with wheels) but he has always been this way from very early onhe also loves to ride bikes and play with waterplay activities.
He does play mostly on his own but I have observed him in parallel play with other children and on occasion interactive games (such as chasings).
He is going through yet another bout of emotional dependence on me and becomes upset easily, though never physically agressive.
I just really don't know what to do with the information, I have of course given permission for him to be observed (I do want what is best for him).
I am just really doubting my abilities to look at him objectively and since this possibility has been mentioned I keep LOOKING for things that may be different or symptoms I am feeling paranoid and have stopped just apreciating my son for just who he is and what he acheives every day.
I can't ask my family as DH is of the opinion that it is just not the case, and everyone else in the family are disbelieving as well.
Reading some of the amazing stories in this forum let me know that most of what I have see to this point seems like normal toddler behaviour.
But now I'm noticing that he is whiny and dependent on my presence and emotionally upset by little things, I just feel like I'm going crazy at the moment and sooooo alone DH works most weekends and late most nights
sorry I seem to have waffled a bit as well

[butterfly_warrior]

Blizz, just want to send you a hug.

I'm no expert, but I do just want to say that there's only two months between your boy and mine, and Sam's speech is WAY behind where your son is. WAY, WAY, WAY behind.

Sam also has little things about things being in the right place - but I see that as more of a neat freak tendency than a spectrum thing. When daddy takes his shoes off, Sam will put them where they belong if he leaves them in the wrong place. That sort of thing.

I wish I could remember where I read a particular thing... I will keep looking and come back if I find it.

How is your DS with pretend play?

BW

[blizz]

thanks BW, he isn't great with Pretend play it tends to be mostly pushing cars around a car mat and making engine noises, he did pick up the phone the other day "e-o, ok, bye" but nothing much more than this. I would probably feel better if he did follow instruction a bit more but unless it interest him he just won't do it. Is a little bit fixated on the disney cars movie as well (but so are a lot of other small boys I know) Ij ust think I'll keep second guessing myself until he is seen in February

[blizz]

ps thanks for hug it's what I really need right now

[butterfly_warrior]

Found a similar list. I don't think it's the one I saw before, but it is very similar. I will copy some of the relevant sections, but will also PM the link to you as well. I honestly don't think Sam's on the spectrum, but it's something I've been paranoid about because of his speech delay.

THE second YEAR - possible signs of Autism & Asperger's syndrome

• A lack of interest in other children and people

• Lack of eye contact

• Not pointing at objects that are wanted

• Not using sentences of two words by two years of age

• Losing words or language skills that were already acquired

• Repetitive behaviors such as hand flapping or rocking

• Does not look at objects you are pointing to

• Does not play pretend games

• Walking on tip toes.

TWO TO FIVE YEARS - possible signs of Autism & Asperger's syndrome

• A lack of interest in other children and people

• Lack of eye contact

• Not pointing at objects that are wanted

• Lack of, or strange reaction to the distress of other children

• Obsessed with certain objects, toys and games

• Focus on order, routine and arrangement of objects

• Distress when these orders, routines or arrangements are disturbed

• Repetitive movements such as rocking, hand flapping, or spinning around

• Sensitivity to loud sounds that don't disturb other children

• Sensitivity to touch ie. disliking hugs or fabrics of certain clothes

• Sensitivity to smell and taste.

Even if your son is showing some of these signs, it doesn't necessarily mean he is on the spectrum. Having seen kids in high schools... I honestly believe that the earlier you find out and get them help, the better.

[peanutter]

hi there, blizz ... sorry, but I don't have anything other than major to offer, but just bumping, in case others have more advice.

but sending you lots of love and in the interim, hun. stay in there, because at the end of the day, no matter whether it's standard toddler behavious or somethingelse, what your kids need first and foremost is your love, time and attention - and that's what you're already giving him day in and day out.

you and he will be ok

[Early Kids]

It's very hard to make a comment on what you've mentioned, because most can be seen as 'normal'. My advice for the time being would be to look at how he does things, not what he does/does not do. My DS1 loves cars/trains etc and is obsessed with trucks to the point that he sleeps with them. He doesn't push them around the mat instead he lines them up or flips them over and spins the wheels. DS1 does make eye contact, however it is limited and everything he does is on his terms only. His speech is delayed and also limited in that there are no general conversations, all speech is purely to get what he wants. I won't go into any more atm as it can be very overwhelming.

You've taken a step in the right direction, I hope that it is all a precaution

[blizz]

thanks for the support I think I have just been missing someone to talk things through as DH is just dismissing it at the moment. I have started record of the language Gus uses so his actual word and what it is in reference to and the frequency in which he says them, maynot help but it feels better to see his achievements written down rather than trying to think"...now what words does he say?" so far i'm up to 24 including a few small three word sentences, I know it will probably come down to more than just language but it feels better at the moment, thank you for your comments and support it is appreciated

[blizz]

My DS1 loves cars/trains etc and is obsessed with trucks to the point that he sleeps with them. He doesn't push them around the mat instead he lines them up or flips them over and spins the wheels.

boys and their trucks LOL, Angus is obsessed with any toys with wheels but he is not precious about which ones he has,I haven't seen him line them up if anything he has always played a little too gently with them than what I have witnessed of other 2 year olds, he pushes them carefully around roads on a car mat with no crashes using one finger, but he does have to have everything at his eye level so either lying beside the mat or lifting the cars on to the TV cabinet (much to DS's annoyance)

[blizz]

i forgot to add, yep to the toys to bed, he has stopped now but it was a matchbox car clutched in each hand (usually still there in the mornings as well LOL)

[Early Kids]

Keeping a record of things definitely helps