I need your opinion!

**eyafanna** · February 15th, 2013, 04:33 PM

I am 9 weeks pregnant and my friend is 17 weeks pregnant.

Before we both became pregnant we discussed baby names and both made different choices.

Yesterday I was talking to her about names again because she finds out if she's having a boy or girl in a week and a half and I was surprised to find that she has changed her mind and now wants to use the name I have chosen for a girl.

Am I being selfish if I say something to her since she is further along in her pregnancy than me or is it ok to mention this to her as she knew I had chosen this specific name?

Thanks!!

**Calluna** · February 15th, 2013, 04:42 PM

That's really rude. Im sorry you have to negotiate this. Sadly its not uncommon and some people choose not to discuss names at all because of it. Not that that helps you now, but please know you arent alone.

Im not sure what Id do. I guess it depends on how important the friendship is to you vs how important it is, to you, to use that name. If this causes an arguments are you prepared for it to ends the friendship?
Another consideration is- does it matter to you if they have the same name? Would the children be spending much time together?

Good luck. Its a crappy situation that your friend has put you in.

**eyafanna** · February 15th, 2013, 04:47 PM

The situation is made harder by the fact that the friend is actually my partners ex, the mother of my partners son!! Talk about messy situation. The same name can't be used because the my partners son would have two sisters with the same name lol

I am thinking that I will wait until she finds out what she is having (no point mentioning before) and if she is having a girl, maybe say something like 'oh that's the name we has chosen for our girl, remember when you and I talked about names?'

Too rude and confrontational?

**little_O** · February 15th, 2013, 04:57 PM

I think that's fine.

I was going down the thought of...oh wow ds will have 2 sisters with the same name!....see what she says lol.

But your way is nicer!

**eyafanna** · February 15th, 2013, 04:58 PM

Haha I like yours! Maybe ill try mine and then if she doesn't change her mind ill say something like that lol

**Calluna** · February 15th, 2013, 04:59 PM

Oh no! What a pickle! She wouldnt be being spiteful would she? Or do you think she just kind of forgot where the idea came from?

I think it sounds ok, but hopefully other members will come in with advice from those who have been there.

I think that's fine.

I was going down the thought of...oh wow ds will have 2 sisters with the same name!....see what she says lol.

But your way is nicer!

**eyafanna** · February 15th, 2013, 05:02 PM

I don't like to think she is being spiteful... It's just a bit strange that she has changed because the name we had chosen is quiet 'hippy' and all the names she had chosen and that her two sons are already named are quiet traditional.

Thanks for your help, I feel less like an awful whinger now.

Maybe advice from others who have 'been there done that' would be good too

**Calluna** · February 15th, 2013, 05:09 PM

Glad to have made you feel a bit better.

Hope it all works out for you, it is a bit odd.

P.s - welcome to Bellybelly

**Phteven** · February 15th, 2013, 05:11 PM

There are thousands (millions maybe) of names out there. If she likes your name it's probably not too difficult for you to find another one you like.

**chody47** · February 15th, 2013, 05:43 PM

Maybe just mention to her that that was the name you mentioned to her (she may have forgotten where she heard it). If you definitely think you want to use it maybe be upfront now and say that. You could say you don't mind if they use it, but to be aware it's likely you'll also use it.

**eyafanna** · February 15th, 2013, 05:47 PM

I know that there are literally millions of other names out there.... Unfortunately there is only one my partner and I agree on!

Will wait until she finds out ( no point bringing it up now and finding out she's having a boy) and then talk to her and be up front, that's what I would want if I were her so I will do the same.

**chody47** · February 15th, 2013, 05:55 PM

I know that there are literally millions of other names out there.... Unfortunately there is only one my partner and I agree on!

Will wait until she finds out ( no point bringing it up now and finding out she's having a boy) and then talk to her and be up front, that's what I would want if I were her so I will do the same.

I reckon I'd mention it before. That way if she does have a boy and you have a girl she doesn't get angry you 'stole' her name as she may plan to use it in the future.

**Rosey** · February 15th, 2013, 08:05 PM

Just tell her nicely before she finds out. I even think a text message would be ok-depending on your friendship.

Something like.... 'Hun I feel a bit awkward brining this up but remember ages ago when we were talking about names and I told you we like ***** for a girl, well you mentioned it the other day as now being on your list. I don't want to cause any trouble but DP and I really have our hearts set on that name if we have a girl and truthfully it's the only one we agree on, there are no other girls names in contention for us. Anyways I was just thinking about it and thought I'd pop you a text.... Xx '