Is this unreasonable??

[OceanPrincess]

Background... My mum always wanted to name her son Daniel James. She loves the name Daniel and James would be after her father. Problem is she had two girls - me and my sister. We're all very close and my sister and I always said that whoever had a boy first would use Daniel James, as we both liked it too.

Cut to present day... we both got married and realised that hey, the husband gets a say in naming bubs as well! My sister had the first boy and her DH didn't like the name Daniel or James. So I spoke to my DH who said he didn't mind James but we couldn't use Daniel as his best mate has a son, Daniel. Fair enough.

So I said to my sister and mum "well if I have a boy, maybe I'll use James at least!"

Then my sister had her DS, and she has used James as a middle name. Now that I am expecting a boy, I had struck James off the list as she has used it already.

Last night my mum picked up a baby name book at my house and said "What are you looking for - a middle name?" Turns out she thought we're still using James. I said we weren't, as my sister had used it, so that ship had sailed.

Then she cried

Am I being unreasonable? These two little boys will see a lot of each other - its not like they will be some sort of distant relatives and no one will remember what my nephew's middle name is. They are also going to be very close in age.

Would you use someone else's middle name as first name for your bubs? Someone really close to you?? When there is going to be only 4 months between the two babies???

[briggsy's girl]

Middle names i don't mind - there is meaning behind why you wanted to use it, so if you want to use it, use it. don't NOT use it because your sister has

my bro used my grandfathers name (robert) as a middle name for his son. we would potentially use it too. not that it's a fantastic, unique name - but because it has emotional attachment for me.

James is a throwback to your grandfather - if you want to use it, use it

really, how often are the middles names going to be used? it's not like you're going to use them all them time!

[NaeNae]

Middle names i don't mind - there is meaning behind why you wanted to use it, so if you want to use it, use it. don't NOT use it because your sister has

James is a throwback to your grandfather - if you want to use it, use it

really, how often are the middles names going to be used?

Couldn't have said it better myself x

[Olive]

i dont think its a issue hun!~! if you like it go for it!

[OceanPrincess]

Thanks for your opinions ladies!

BG - I hadn't thought about the fact that it has emotional significance too.

Now I am confused I had just assumed it was a no, I might need to reconsider!

[Tinks]

I would use it. My cousin's son has DS's middle name as his first name because it's a 'family name'.

BTW I love the name James.

[~Kim~]

I don't think it's an issue either, but I also wouldn't use a name I wasn't 100% sure on either.
If you love it use it.
BUT (and please not being rude or trying to offend) I wouldn't feel like I had to name my baby just so someone else wouldn't be upset.

[feeb]

Its only your nephews middle name so I cant see why you cant use it as middle names are very rarely used day to day.

It is also significant for both of you.

[OceanPrincess]

BUT (and please not being rude or trying to offend) I wouldn't feel like I had to name my baby just so someone else wouldn't be upset.

Yeah that's part of it now too... I feel like if we went back to James it'd be to appease my mum (in part!) and DH won't be happy about that...

Sigh, why do baby names get so political with families???

[[M]umma[M]ia]

I think... its your son, you name him what ever you like

It could be a nice connection between the 2 boys.

[Hahamama]

I agree with Kim also. Don't go back to James just because your mum got upset (not that you should disregard her feelings either, it's such a fine line!). But I agree with the others too, you can know someone very well for years and not know their middle name! If you want to use James, I can't see how it would be a problem. Is your sister okay with it?

Funnily enough, I love both those names, and if this baby is a boy, would have loved to call him Daniel as that is my Dad's name. But my DF doesn't like it because it reminds him of someone he really disliked from his childhood. But we are going to use it as a middle name. I would have loved James Daniel, but unfortunately DF doesn't like the name James either. He's so hard to please!

[Footsteps]

i would use it. xox

[diva det]

hun my cousin and I have the same middle names- that of my great- grandmas
it was never an issue! Actually a nice connection to each other!!

but seriously hun - although you want to do the right thing by your mum- your first piority is you and your DH! So it is whatever suits your and DH!

hugs and yell out if you wanna talk more!!

[ElleJay]

Definitely if you like it go for it - And congrats on the lil boy

[Artechim]

My DS is named after DH's grandfather. One of DH's cousin's has mentioned that they were planning on using it as a middle name if they were to have another boy, which is just fine since we would most likely use their girl middle name if we had another daughter because it is a family name too.

I would hesitate if your nephew had it as a first name, but since it is his middle name I think it would be fine to use it and it is another family link for them to share.

[Mummato2]

Am I being unreasonable? These two little boys will see a lot of each other - its not like they will be some sort of distant relatives and no one will remember what my nephew's middle name is. They are also going to be very close in age.

Would you use someone else's middle name as first name for your bubs? Someone really close to you?? When there is going to be only 4 months between the two babies???

Firstly, if the name Daniel is just a name she liked (without say a family connection or meaning) then I don't know whether I'd be giving her naming rights. It's sort of like my MIL - she had 3 boys - desperately wanted a little girl and wanted to name her Louise. The amount of suggesting for my daughter (first granddaughter) to be Louise was huge!

But at the end of the day it's my child, I have to LOVE the name I give them.

As for whether I'd use someone else's middle name - that sort of thing never bothered me. They will be individual boys, sharing a middle name wouldn't be that big a deal.