DD 20 mths doesn't want to go in sling anymore... I'm devastated! :-(

[shellshell]

Hi all,

I had to write about this somewhere, I'm feeling really emotional about it. I carried my DD from birth, all the time until she was moving along the ground, and then continued to carry her for a long time after that, until about a month ago when she made it very clear to me she wanted to go in a pram ("pam" as she says) instead. So, I decided to use the pram when she asked for it.

Now she totally refuses to go in a sling, wrap, Ergo, whatever, she WILL NOT go in it anymore. She even said yesterday, "Don't like Ergo." This morning I put a wrap on before she woke up. When she woke up and saw it, she cried and said, "Don't like." So I have realised this is it! It's all over. :-( I really love wearing her, but she's ready for it to be over long before I am. I had imagined a long and happy babywearing relationship, wearing her as a 3 year old, etc. etc. but no, it will not be. And in hindsight, I realise I put her in the sling when she didn't like it for a long time (from around 10 months or so, she didn't like getting in it, but she liked it once she was in it).

Anyway, just had to share... it's sad. My baby is growing up, I know I couldn't carry her forever, but I wanted to carry her... just one more time please...

Enjoy your babywearing, it doesn't last forever and your bubba might be like mine and be ready for it to end long before you are!

- Shell xo

[Jaycee]

Aww Shell, big hugs to you hun.
I'm currently going through weaning my DS and feel quite sad, just like you, as it's the end of a "baby chapter", the one thing I've hung on to since DS's birth.
It's so sad when they start to grow up and become independant.
xxx

[Roryrory]

I have quoted this before (from Kahill Gibran) but it might give oyu some solace:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Your little girl is forging her own life, separate from you, but this is not a bad thing - it is part of life's purpose. And part of the reason she is so ready for it is that you have given her such a sound and secure foundation.

[shellshell]

Thanks for your replies Gracious Goddess and rory rory!

I know it had to happen one day ... it's not like I was going to be still carrying her at 6 or 8 or 21!!

- xo

[paradise lost]

shellshell if it's any comfort my DD went through a phase at about 25months where she was ADAMANT she wasn't going in the meitai anymore. Everywhere we went she had to walk or go in the stroller, and she too would cry if i got the meitai out. About 4 months later she was really tired one day (out walking) and asked to go in the meitai. I had it with me (optimistic and also knew it was very far for her to manage on her own feet) and she happily went in. From there she went back to wanting it on and off, not as much as before, but certainly once or twice a fortnight. To be honest of late *I* have had to stop using it as much now i'm PG. She is also getting so big that it barely reaches around her anymore (it's a homemade one).

So though she might not want it right now, and might not for a few months, it also might not be forever hun. To be honest by the time she was ready to go back into it i'd begun to embrace the new turn our relationship had taken, and though i welcomed her back onto my back, it's been much less painful all round as we'e gradually used it lss and less since. Having said that i am REALLY looking forward to wearing version 1.1 in the wrap/sling/meitai when s/he arrives