I'm sooooo not an expert on this because DD would often take ages to settle down and go to sleep. I didn't cure her but I did, over time, figure out what worked and what we were both comfortable with. I did stories in her room and let her know very adamantly when we were doing the "last story" ie. reminded her on every page - "mama read story, then mama go." Often in the early days she just would NOT stay in bed for her stories. Being firm didn't work. Leaving the room resulted in lots of tears. So I just read the story without worrying whether she was in bed or not. Then after the promised number of stories were done, I'd give big kisses and cuddles and go. If I thought she wasn't really tired, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and stay a bit longer - if I knew she was tired but just playing about a bit, I'd go.

I've always closed the door. I don't feel bad about this because it just never seemed to worry her. I'd often hear her messing around in her room and that was OK by me as long as she wasn't distressed. I'd hear her rattling the door knob if she was upset and she never has. She seemed to 'get' that I wasn't coming back.

So I guess I wouldn't worry too much if she doesn't fall asleep immediately AS LONG AS she's not distressed about being on her own.