It annoys me no end!! I get it about everything!! For eg, I get told I won't worry so much about letting the second baby cry because I won't have enough time. Apparently I will think 'too bad, you have to cry for a while because I need to eat my dinner'.
No, I won't!! They won't even believe me when I say I won't do that!! Don't know why, they told me I wouldn't do lots of things I said I would before DD was born and I have proved them wrong.
The reason I don't let DD cry is because I believe it is detrimental to her to let her CIO!! Not because I have lots of spare time to deal with her. My opinion on this won't change!!!!
You will. It wont be to the extent of letting them CIO, but sometimes it is not humanly possible if you are in the middle of dealing with the other child. It's not ideal, but unfortunately we can't be everywhere, attending to each child's needs at the same time. I don't think they mean CIO anyway. If you take 2 minutes to get to a baby now and attend to their cries, it might take 3 minutes once you have an older one kwim? Unless you immediately stop doing what you are doing with one child to attend to the crying child, but then you aren't attending to them and meeting their needs then are you? Its a crappy catch22 situation.
And as for other stuff, again you will change a little bit. Not in a bad way, but you will find you are more relaxed and a bit more confident. For example with your first child you worry over every single bump and scrape they get as a baby/toddler, but with a second one you don't worry as much because the older one survived LOL. You probably wont stress as much over what they are or are not doing too.
So unfortunately the masses are right, to an extent.
Yeah, that's what I expect Trill!! Obviously I will have less time and have to try and juggle both. But the people who are saying this do mean CIO. They think I'm stupid with my hippy ways now and I think they think I'll 'come to my senses' and do it their way when I have a second baby.
Oooooooooooo yes!!! I hear this all the time and even more so now I'm UTD!
'Ah that'll all change when this one comes' 'You wont do that with this one' 'You wont care as much with #2' 'You'll be screaming out for babysitters when you have another one (as I don't like to be away from DD)' Give me a break, I am who I am no matter how many children I have!!! I'll do what I choose to do and change what I feel I need to.
hehe hun people will always have opinions about things... you've just gotta let it slide. I've gotten it about everything i've ever done as a parent. CIO with Jaidan wasn't good, but then picking Ash up the minute he cried isn't good either. You can't keep everyone happy so just try to keep yourself happy...
FWIW This time around I do let Ash cry cos I need to eat my dinner lol but he is a whinger and if it's not one thing it's the other. I AM a lot more relaxed 3rd time around.
*don't take that as I let him scream because I want to eat, if he is whinging cos he wants out of his high chair I leave him till we are finished *
I'm lucky in that most of my family have no idea how we raise our kids. Not that we have anything to hide - its just that its our business, not theirs. I keep my cards close to my chest .
They would have no idea if we co sleep, CIO, feed to sleep or anything. They haven't asked, so unless it comes up in conversation - they'll never know.
All they know is when they see the kids they mention how well dressed and sweet they are. And thats all they need to know - as it is the truth!
I had no ideas as to how I was going to do with 2 under 2 - but it all fell into place. Sometimes one has to wait while the other is being attended to - first priorities, then second etc etc. But they aren't neglected by any extent.
I think its just a natural progression. When you were first pregnant, you prob got lots of comments about what you should and shouldn't do, and how you would change your hippy thinking during birth.... First child, they said your theory on x, y, and z wouldn't work. ...and now you getting comments about your next child. some people just like to comment on how others do stuff or not.
If you are comfortable with what you are doing, and planning to do, just let the comments flow over you. Let it be there issue, not yours. You know you are doing a good job!
Ahh Heaven I so understand, you big hippy My MIL was telling one of my mates at ds's b'day party how she thought I'd be "less fussy and particular" with my second baby but no, I still won't let a three month old eat ice cream cake (or anything else, for that matter)
Bookmarks