Do your kids sleep when out?

[amberj]

When he was just a wee thing, DS would sleep pretty much anywhere, but as he has got older he has gradually reduced the amount of places he will sleep. Now its pretty much only in his cot or, if he is really tired, in his car seat. Very occasionally he will sleep a quiet dark room at someone else's house, but usually not.

It means we pretty much have to work around his sleep schedule to make sure we are home for his sleeps. This definately limits us, but I don't really mind- I have always just figured that's what life is like with a baby, and as he gets older he will need less naps and we can do a bit more.

But sometimes we get wierd looks when we say we have to go so Peter can sleep (like from a party or something), and I was just wondering if Peter's inability to sleep anywhere but home/car is a strange or bad thing? Should I be trying to get him used to sleeping elsewhere? If so, how?

Thanks!

[feeb]

Jacob will only sleep in cot at night!

During day he will sleep in arms after a feed, or in car seat or if just fed and put in pram and walked for a while he will sleep there.

[Phteven]

There is no hope of getting either of my boys to sleep so long as there are people to talk to - they're waaaay too social to go tobed in strange house.

[Snacks]

Natty has gone through phases. At this stage, I don't usually bother giving her a day sleep if we are out. If we are at a friend's place for dinner and it is later than say 8pm, I will put her in a cot there and yes, she will go to sleep.
In the past she has gone through phases. Generally I used to pat her to sleep if we were out, or I would put her in the stroller and take her for a walk (if we were outdoors or at the shops or something). She wouldn't fall asleep if left on her own.
The reality is that most of the time we were at home for her sleeps though, so it wasn't often an issue.
Do the people who give you funny looks have children? I have found that the least understanding of my friends have predictably been my childless ones, who have that know-it-all attitude of how it's wrong that your kids should affect your plans and inconvenience you, etc. LOL, I have a couple in mind that will learn soon enough!

[amberj]

No, the wierd thing is that the friends who gave us strange looks are parents themselves- although they are probably a bit more laid back and less routine oriented than we are, so maybe they just always expected different things from their child?

[Snacks]

Hmmm, maybe. Or maybe they were just fortunate to have kids who'd be flexible on the sleep front
It's really not unheard of to me that a kid would choose his own bed. Particularly if you are as you say, routine oriented - kids like what they are used to. Very few parents would argue that one!
Does Peter go to sleep on his own usually? Or does he need help to get to sleep?

[amberj]

He sleeps on his own. He used to need to be rocked to sleep, but then we got him used to falling asleep on his own- now he won't go to sleep unless we leave him alone. Its like "would you just go away so I can sleep?"!!!

[Willow]

I think this is pretty normal. It's a bit hit and miss with DS and I remember by about 18 months if we were out with DD I wouldn't even attempt it, she could cope missing a day sleep now and then and would most often sleep in the car on the way home.

At the moment, DS doesn't sleep well if we're anywhere other than at home or MILs so I work around his sleep if I can. Easier for everyone I figure.

**ETA: Sorry, I just noticed how young your son is. I think at this age yes, DS would sleep most places but wouldn't go to sleep on his own, i'd have to stay with him until he fell asleep but then usually he wouldn't sleep as long as what he would at home.

[rhyb]

DS will sleep anywhere except at home. He'll only sleep in his room or my grandmothers room, nowhere else. But he's odd

[mummy of many]

My two small kiddies will never sleep at anyones house or if we are out,they seem to just hang out to either sleep in their car seats if it`s been a long day,if not they will only sleep in their own cot & bed,I think it`s a security issue,they know their surroundings,and the people around them.I think if your friends expect your children to fall asleep whilst visiting or at parties is a big ask,anyway most kids want sleep if there`s alot of excitement around either.

[BekZ]

I second what Mummy of Many says. Neither of mine will sleep whilst out particularly at a party

[Jaycee]

Jake will only sleep at home or in his car seat.
If we're out and he's in the pram there's too much for him to look at and too many people for him to "talk" to - he's 14 months and babbles more than talks but it's very cute!
So most of the time I'll just go out in the afternoons after his morning sleep.

[Ezz]

We just don't go out late at night anymore - we either have people here, or leave by 8:30pm. During the day, DS will sleep in the car or pram - but only if we are moving for a long time (and we keep moving - he wakes up when we stop) - and he will then only sleep for 40 mins.

I have always just worked around his sleeps - plan for him to have a short nap in the car/pram (eg for a morning sleep), but be home in time for him to have a proper sleep later in the day. Until Calvin was 11kg (about 9 months) I would always put him in the sling to sleep while we were out - but he just got too heavy!

[Snacks]

He sleeps on his own. He used to need to be rocked to sleep, but then we got him used to falling asleep on his own- now he won't go to sleep unless we leave him alone. Its like "would you just go away so I can sleep?"!!!

LOL, that makes even more sense. I remember Natty had a phase like that at around 9 months - just wanted to be left. I remember that because we went on holidays to NZ and it was tricky getting her to sleep! We only stayed a max 3 nights at any given place, and usually it was only 1 night. So while she did go to sleep, it was much harder than being at home.

[beckoes]

We are exactly the same here!! she WILL NOT sleep in her pram, not since we changed it from the bassinette to the normal pram at a few months old. Will sleep on beds at peoples houses but only if i lay with her, the second i leave she wakes up! So we generally try to be home, atleast for one of the day sleeps!
We have a couple who ask us over for dinner every monday night...and every week i have to explain ''we cant cause thats right on Graces bed time'' i get funny looks and get told that 'thier parents just used to take them out places'. We dont care now...even DH who didnt get why we would have to be home for bed time in the begining will look at his watch when we are out and say...''ooo, better be off, nearly bed time!" which for us is about 6.30-7 at the latest!

Off Topic....How did you get him used to sleeping on his own...i still feed DD to sleep, unless she is in the car seet. I dont mind but would be interested to know how.

[Marlene]

Jack will not sleep when we are out! He will only sleep in pram or car if he is absolutely exhausted. We, too, have to leave places to bring him home to sleep.
My niece will sleep anywhere and everywhere...but they are always going to friends places for dinners and things, so I think that's just what she is used to.

[amberj]

Bec- we are the same- we have to leave anywhere at like 6:30-7:00pm to get Peter home and ready for bed. Thankfully we are both real home-bodies and I usually like to go to bed early too, so it suits us just fine! As far as sleeping on his own, we had to do a bit of tough love, actually. When he was about 6-7 months old, he gradually started waking up about 5 times a night, for no reason really- he could get his own dummy and he was just wasn't used to settling himself. We definately wanted to stop this. Part of the problem was that we were rocking him to sleep during the day and at night, so we knew that in order to teach him to settle himself, we had to do it for all sleeps. There were a few times in the past that he had settled himself, so we knew he could do it. So we did a modified CIO. We never let him really scream, but we certainly let him whinge and carry on a bit. If he got to the really crying stage we would go get him and calm him down and try again. I know that he won't put himself to sleep when he is really crying and if he does its only because he's exhausted, so its not like he would be learning to settle. So I call what we did with him "whinge it out"! It worked really, really well- surprisingly little pain. Although, I did try it when he was younger and it did NOT work, so I they really have to be at the right age/stage for it to work. Like you, I didn't ever really mind rocking him to sleep, but I knew I had to do it all or nothing. I miss rocking him to sleep now! But he is a champion settler and that really is awesome. Sorry for the essay, hope that helps!

[suse]

DS (15 months) won't self settle to fall asleep, except for falling asleep in the car, (which I don't think really counts), but the advantage is that he will sleep literally anywhere as long as he is either fed to sleep, rocked in a pram, or in a carrier.

Today I was helping out at a baby expo (so totally noisy and people everywhere), and he was in the carrier for about three and a half hours then had a feed and fell asleep, and stayed asleep for over an hour.

I've noticed that that kids/babies who need help to get to sleep are more likely to sleep anywhere (if their usual 'help' is portable), whereas kids who self settle and are more routine oriented may tend not to sleep well when away from the security of home.

You could try rocking him in a pram when you are out, but it may re-introduce a dependence on assistance that you may not want at this stage, and may impact on him self settling at home. Our DS was at a stage at about 6 months where he was slowly starting to self settle, then he started teething which coincided with a trip interstate, and has never self settled since.