Mods please move this if it is in the wrong place...
I am just curious as to what 'others' opinion is on "first time mums giving advice to mums of mulitlpe children" and how do you take their advice?
Just lately a heap of advice has been given to me by a first time mum who obviously thinks she is an encyclopedia.... and that 'i' know nothing..BUT hang on..i have already raised a 9 year old (nearly 10) and an 8 year old..
it really irks me.. thinking they know best.
sorry bit of a vent...
i dont think its about how much they think they know. They are prob just letting u know what they have been through and trying to help, regardless of how many kids they have. At the end of the day, they are still a mum too. I give advice to my friends who have more than one child and i think they know, im just trying to help.
Maybe 1st time mums are a bit overconfident in the sense that they haven't yet had the experience of trying the same thing with different babies and finding out what works for one doesn't work for another IYKWIM? Just having one you can say "just do this, it worked for me" but I guess when you have more you realise how different they are and see for yourself that the same thing doesn't always work? Just a thought
when i was pregnant and getting lots of advice...as you do...from mums, i thought it was annoying and i would just smile and say thanks....but now i think that the advice people give is....most the time...something that they wish someone had told them when they had thier babies. Even though it probably wont work for you it may have been the best thing that they ever discovered and want to save soemone else the hours of sleeplessness/crying/not knowing.
With all advice/comments i just try to smile and sometimes correct the really stupid ones. And im quite aware of the advice i give out too....dont want to sounds like a know it all!! normally say ''what worked for us was...''
I dont know about mums with one giveing advice to mums with many but i can see where your coming from, especially if she is trying to push her advice on to you!
People intend to do good - so they probably think they are helping you in some way. I agree with Hollye - take what you want, or leave it. If you don't want advice perhaps start with - i just need to get this, not looking for solutions ....???
my first was routine, made sure no feeds overnight from 3 months - lots of things that 2nd time around was a shock cos DD was different - DS1 I would secretly tut-tut those feeding o/n from 6 months - but after DD who had a feed more times than not until 14 months!!
Now i just support - whatever gets u through & is harmless & works for you - I am all for it!!
Hmmmmm... maybe she thinks she knows of some new products/ideas that maybe you don't? I know my SIL has 3 kids, the youngest is 11, and when she gives me her advice sometimes I correct her and say "ok, but now they recommend..."
I probably sound like an encyclopedia or a know it all but I'm just letting her know that some things she has done in the past are outdated even though its only 11 years ago KWIM?
I think it would be frustrating if someone was pushing advice at me no matter how many kids they have. But I would be a bit annoyed too. I actually had someone with no kids giving me advice, I tried not to get annoyed because I know she was just trying to help, but seriously, books don't have all the answers.
Another first time mum.....well I have 2 but one is still doing time on the inside!!
I think some people are annoying with their advice, others aren't!
I think if you put one problem forward to 20 mum's you would get 20 different suggestions for solutions, some you will think are silly some you will think are great, all just depends what suits you etc
I think you never know what gem of wisdom you might find where
katones.. thats the thing with advice, u can take and leave what you want. I love advice from people personally but there are some things i have let go over my head. I think if someone had 10 kids or one they are going to shove advice in your face all the time, it really depends on the person.
If you have 7 kids and the 6th one is totally different to the others there's every possibility that someone with only one happens to have one just like that.
It is annoying when you get unwanted advice. I get it from people too, who tell me what THEY want to do or did, but phrased as advice for me (i.e. oh no you don't want to be stuck at home, get her in nursery and get yourself a life!) and i find a vacant nod and "hmmm!?" and then nothing more means they have felt listened to and i can merrily go on ignoring them.
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