thread: What Other Advice Can I Give Her?

  1. #1

    Jul 2009
    Out North, Vic
    8,538

    Question What Other Advice Can I Give Her?

    A very close friends DS is 2mths old and is having issues sleeping.
    Basically he is quite hard to get to sleep, she can normally get him to take a morning nap which might be for an hour or so but then from say 11am to 11pm it's like fighting against the tide.

    She can rock him, pat him, feed him he might fall asleep but 5min later he's awake.
    She's tried a carrier to walk around etc but he gets too hot and she has to take him out.
    She's tried walks but he lasts all of about 10min, he can sometimes sleep in the car but the minute she stops (for traffic lights etc) he's awake again.

    She doesn't mind the no sleeping, he's generally happy but when he gets overtired he gets grizzly and just wants to constantly be held, then he wants to feed but he's so damn tired he falls asleep and the cycle repeats itself.

    She did take him to a sleep school and they suggested the patting method, worked ok at the sleep school but not at all at home (typical baby right )

    So my suggestions were:
    1. Carrier (tried)
    2. Feed to sleep - tried and doesn't really want to get into that habbit
    3. Walks (tried)
    4. Car (tried)
    5. Seeing if she can drag out his morning sleep a bit later - didn't work

    I've told her to basically go with the flow, do what works for her and don't feel pressured to MAKE him sleep, if feeding to sleep works then do it aas you wont 'ruin him' by doing it.

    So is there anything else you girls can suggest, she worked damn hard to establish BFIng and it seems to be going ok, every now and then she has formula on hand if he's fed HEAPS and she feels she doesn't have enough.
    I told her back then to just go with the flow and she's now a lot more confident with that and i'm so proud of her for persevering

    Last night we went for dinner we got there about 6ish, he had been awake since 4pm, he had 3 catnaps (like 5min) and then didn't fall asleep until 11pm, she said this has been his 'routine' for the last 3 weeks.
    I took him as much as i could last night, let her eat tea without him (like most kids this is his clingy time), walked with him around the lounge so she could relax and watch a bit of telly, he was WIDE AWAKE.. wired as.

    Shes cut out caffeine, tries not to stimulate him too much, wraps him, cuddles him you name it.

    I don't know what i'm asking ladies, i suggested most of the things i know to try, he's burped well, doesn't seem in pain.
    I just know it's starting to get to her (being tired i mean), she knows every child is different but is there anything else you would suggest.

    She's even tried dark room, white noise.. you name it.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    Nawwww, hugs to your friend, I remember this feeling, it was tough.

    You being there to take him would of helped so much, your such a good friend xoxoxo

    I would tell her that this is all normal, to go with the flow on what ever works, he is so use to hearing her heartbeat for the last 9months in utero that he properly doesn't want to be apart from her, he is still getting use to this big scary world. Tell her to do what ever works, if that means feed to sleep do that, if it meaks her having a nap whilst he does, do that, maybe one of the rocking chairs (can't remember the name of them, that rock by them selves) could help?

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Oct 2010
    Brisbane
    711

    I have no experience in this area..but does he possibly have silent reflux or some other problem?

  4. #4

    Jul 2009
    Out North, Vic
    8,538

    She's spoken to the health nurse and outside of this is is healthy, has regular bowel movements, does not seem to be in pain.. he's just very active, he's already rolling from his belly to his back during tummy time.. maybe he just thinks he's a lot older than he is

    I've told her i'm more than happy to help out, she can come here or i to her at any time but i know it doesn't make her feel any better, often as a mother if YOUR not getting it right it makes you feel like crap.

    I had a quiet little 'aunty' word with him last night and told him to behave, don't think it worked though.

    I might check for more info on silent reflux, he's not a spewy baby or anything though.
    I've told her to go with the flow and what works works, right now it's finding what works

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    373

    Just subscribing to this...You could have been writing about a friend of mine though it's continued and he's now 7 months with no change!!!!! Just want to see if there's any advice that I can pass on.

    xx

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Melbourne
    4,895

    Firstly, huge hugs to your friend. It is such tiring work being a parent, let alone to one who won't sleep!

    In relation to silent reflux - he won't spew up anything. What happens is the milk/tummy acid comes up the oesophagus (sp?) then goes back down & burns - that is where the pain comes from. He would scream & be upset if he had silent reflux.

    I think going with the flow is they way to go for your friend atm, but sounds like she wants a result - like sleep! You really need to persist with sleep cues for a while. Sometimes chopping & changing from different techniques confuses bubs. If the patting worked at sleep school, then I would suggest she goes back to that. He is so used to not sleeping/settling at home that he has probably gone back to what he was previously doing prior to sleep school. She might need to persist at the patting technique a little longer for her DS to clue onto the sleep cue. When we went to sleep school it took DD 3 nights to sleep & we were there for a total of 5 nights. So, by the time we got DD back into her own cot she was settled into the sleep cues and we had no issue at home. As part of her routine (day & night) she went in a sleeping bag, had a dummy & a soft toy. She also was fed prior to sleep and at sleep school she had music but we didn't want to do that at home so we gave that sleep cue up.

    Also, some babies will not sleep during the day - a couple of my gf's bubs just cat nap (but do sleep through at night) and there is nothing they can do to change that, so they just go with that. HTH

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Apr 2010
    Townsville
    2,832

    omg this is me and DD now!! Except for us it is 5pm-11pm ish...

    I have no idea how to get her to sleep but my god it is annoying!!!! She is whinging and crying now but she won't feed anymore