Here I am again. In the midst of sleep deprivation (multiplied by 2 now) and just completely over it. Everything sucks. I'm walking into walls. I can't find my shirt....... who cares, I don't need a shirt to be stuck in the house all day, I suppose.

I've done this before. This is what I tell myself when I want to gouge my eyes out with frustration. I'm doing better this time! I made it to 6 months before I wanted to pack my s*** and move to China without telling anyone. Especially the kids. Those damn kids! Everywhere I look, I'm surrounded by sleep porn. Pillows enticingly arranged on the floor by my toddler. Minky blankets. Lavender oil and soothing music (to keep the kids from completely overpowering my authority with screaming and demanding behaviour). Ok well my little one can't exactly be demanding on purpose as such, but GAH!

I thought it was hard having a baby with mobility delays due to his clubfoot. Silly me. I jumped for joy when DS2 crawled at 5 months, sat up unassisted and crawled at 6 months. Very silly me. It's much harder having a very small baby cruising around everywhere, getting into everything. Search and destroy mode, I call it. If there's a crumb on the floor (which there obviously is a few thousand strategically strewn around by DS1) DS2 will find it, and try to eat it. When I offer you solids, floor crumbs are not part of my designated menu, buddy.

DS2 has been crawling properly and sitting up on his own for less than a week. Now he's decided it's a good idea to pull himself up on the lounge and fall over backwards a lot. Or to claw at my legs trying to climb up onto my lap. Oh please, don't get up and walk too soon........ (I never thought I would say that after watching DS1 struggle!)

On top of incredible sleep deprivation and a load of housework that just never seems to be done, I've got DP sooking about never getting any action. Oh, sorry. I forgot that EVERYONE needs something from me EVERY hour of EVERY day. Can I not just have a foot rub and go to sleep for a few hours before the hourly waking starts? Of course not. Everyone knows my creativity peaks at around 9pm. Stupid internet. Stupid pintrest. Damn that new sewing machine just screaming at me to take it for a spin. Some of this, I do to myself.

As I stare into a double caramel coffee (microwaved once so far), I wonder when this stage will pass again. DP had yesterday off so when the kids woke at 6 I promptly popped them in the lounge with him, and went back to bed. I didn't say anything. I may or may not have grunted or flipped the bird. I can't be sure. "Oh, you just dumped DS2 on the floor and walked off!" He lamented in front of my bestie. Yep. You bet your sweet a** I did, you big hunk. (Gotta be complimentary sometime, right? No, I still don't want to have sex.) Then he proceeded to have a short fuse all day. The kids were being particularly difficult. But his whining every 10 minutes about how hard it is DOES NOT HELP. Ever. Just putting that out there.

If it wasn't for the lack of battery charge on my laptop I'd continue my rant. But I think I've made my point. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I still don't know where my shirt is. Maybe I could sew one! Wait, no. Step away from the sewing machine. Microwave your coffee again and try not to say the F word in front of the toddler again this morning.

Please tell me solid foods will help DS2 sleep more than an hour at a time. Please. I don't care if you're lying, just tell me nice things. Anyone else care to add their own complaints? I need to laugh.