I've had lots of people tell me how chilled out my DD is - everyone from friends to strangers to the women at Mothers Group. Seeing as she's my first, it's pretty hard for me to tell but then people often say "yep, well that's no surprise, you're pretty laidback yourself." And I suppose I am.
Anyhow, I was having a discussion with my physio about this who is VERY clucky and I said "well, it's pretty easy to be calm when you have a calm baby but I might be a wreck if she was a bit more trouble so it's like the chicken and the egg. Are babies calm because their parents are calm or do calm babies make it easier for their parents to seem calmer?" She still reckons she's seen lots of parents (she specialises in pregnancy-related stuff) and she thinks there is something to the idea that calm mother = calm baby.
So, what does everyone else think? Personally, I just think I was very lucky with my DD and as much as I might hope that a second one might be the same, I may still end up beside myself.
I think it certainly helps a baby to be calm if mum is calm, but there are some babies that are just naturally harder work (especially if there is an underlying reason such as reflux, etc) which even the calmest of mums would have problems with. And yes, I think a calm baby helps mum to be calm too!
I don't know. My DD was a very calm baby, but my DS1 was a holy terror, and I probably was the same laidback parent to the both of them.
Charlie is an incredibly active, social, secure and self-assured child, but I would not come close to classifying him as calm, by any stretch of the imagination. Yet while I admit to being a more anxious parent with him than with my other three kids, I am a very even tempered, calm person in general, and so is DH, and Charlie is soooooo not a calm baby.
But there is exceptions to every rule and perhaps we're one of them?
I am the most laid back person but DS is not and he has turned me into a mess at times!
I didn't realise how lucky I was with DD1, until DS came along! Kids have vastly different personalities, I can't beleive the spectrum I have with my three!
You see classic examples of this on House of Tiny Tearaways. Children with major food phobias, really stressed about eating, who are much better when the parent or parents are not around them. Really amazing to watch how the stress of the parent really influences their child's behaviour. Often the expert of the show has to deal with issues with the parents in order to deal with the problems in the child.
In my personal experience I have generally found the parent has major influence on how calm the child is. Saying that though I am aware that it is not always the case. As for my situation, I so not have a calm child, people do comment that she is happy, but she is hard to handle. I am certainly not a calm person, I do stress and think about things too much.
This is interesting. I wouldn't call myself calm so I hope this doesn't rub off onto the baby, yet DH is so laid back and easygoing! Perhaps bubs will get his temperament from him?!?
Calm Mother, Calm Baby? Chicken and Egg?
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