I have a DH that is keen to start TTC #2 but I am not really wanting to have two as close together as 2 years.....
My sister and I are 4 years apart and that was pretty good for me as a kid! BUT as a Mum I would really love to hear peoples opinions, experiences, pros/cons with kids close together or not
We could afford it, the house was big enough, car was fine for 3, and we planned a big family and i dont want to be dragging the age gaps out to much, DH works from home so i have 24/7 support, ive not had to go back to work at all.
1 to 2 was 10 months 27 days
2 to 3 will be around 14.5 months
Between 1 and 3 the gap is 2 yrs 2 months
Pros (with the girls close):
Nap at same time
Both on bottles
Both on nappies
At the same play level (well pretty much)
Chelsea is old enough to help with Jasmine, teaches her things...good and bad!
Cons:
Chelsea is now needing to be TT so it takes alot of my time from Jasmine
Terrible twos are making things hard
On diferent behaviour levels
But def closer the better..i couldnt imagine a huge gap
Cons:-
It is difficult to devote the time to the newborn when the toddler wants you
It is difficult to settle the newborn when the toddler is having a tantie because you have left the room to put her to bed
It is hard when you go out - you either need a double pram - or have the newborn in a carrier and the toddler in a stroller
You never get time to yourself because someone always needs feeding, changing, settling etc etc etc
You haven't had a full nights sleep in over 2 years
Pros:-
The toddler makes the newborn laugh and it sounds bloody fantastic
The toddler learns to share early
Both in nappies
You are used to sleep deprivation
The hope is there that my kids will have a very close relationship not like me and my siblings where there is 4.5 years between me and my sis, and 7 years between me and brother.
I'm also planning on having another one - mid next year we will start trying for the 3rd. Maybe we'll get lucky and have twins.. NOT.. pmsl...
19 months apart here (was supposed to be 21 months but DD was prem ) We didn't want any closer coz we didn't want to compromise that first year of breastfeeding. Turned out that we fed through the pregnancy anyway
Pros:
Got to tandem feed, which in turn has forged a pretty strong bond with them.
Very little jealousy because toddler isn't quite at the age to grasp that concept.
Agree about the sharing and learning it early.
While they're playing at different levels at the moment, that 'gap' will close over the next year or so.
Cons:
Toddler reaches tantrum age and wakes up the younger one during the day!
you know what.. I can't think of many cons LOL. I didn't have a problem with going out.. was happy to wear #2 while pushing #1 in the pram or trolley. #1 was happy to sit in a toddler seat anyway if I wanted them both in a pram. And DS wasn't that demanding of my time, no more than usual. I found it easy to entertain him while b/fing DD, I never had to have planned activities or anything for feeding time.
There's pros and cons for every age gap. I'm sure you'll enjoy whatever age gap you end up with
FWIW my bro is 5yrs older than me, and it took until the later teenage years for that gap to start to close up. So that made me want our kids closer together so they played better together at a younger age.
My boys are 19 months apart (much like Liz, would have been 20 months if DS2 wasn't early). The first few months were tough. Really tough. But now that the youngest is 2, and even before then, it's great. The boys are so close, they get along well, do most things together, entertain themselves. And I love it.
I am also lucky that DS1 was really independent for his age. He'd happily walk at the shops, he talked well, wanted to help, understood about the baby arriving and had no jealousy. I put the no jealousy down to the close age gap - he hadn't been an only child for long enough to feel jealous. But I could be wrong.
Anyway, as hard as it was as first, I am really glad they are close together now. But what works for us might not be right for you. It's a really hard thing to decide. GL.
I have both gaps! I have 2 boys that are 14 months apart, and then I waited 3 years between the next 2.
Both have pros and cons. The older boy are very close, keep eachother amused which makes life easy for me. They also love to play together, sleep together, they wear the same sized clothes which helps lol
However they fight like there is no tomorrow, I missed out on my pregnancy because I was trying to look after a baby, yet I missed out on the baby stage with Chase because I was chasing Jaidan around!
This time around I am enjoying the time with Ashton, enjoying his milestones that were a blur with the other 2
Pros
DD1 is TT, so only one in nappies
DD1 can amuse herself while I deal with bubs. She also understands to use quiet toys while I'm settling bubs
DD1 is past the tantrum stage(mostly ) and is a lost easier to reason with.
DD1 is happy to walk while bubs is in the pram or carried.
I only need to pack a bag for bubs when we go out
DD1 loooves playing with bubs and understands how to play gently and only using bubs toys.
I've had no jealousy issues, but don't know if that's an age or personality thing.
Cons
DD1 doesn't have naps anymore so there is no rest during the day!!! (that's a pretty big con when you haven't slept all night.)
Bubs has to be carted around while we attend various activities for DD1
Can't think of anymore atm. We love the age gap because it has worked really well for us. We will probably wait another 3 before having a third.
Oh yeah, that is a biggie. My boys still mostly both sleep at the same time (DS1 doesn't always sleep, but he will usually rest at least, and still sleeps most of the time). That is a huge plus.
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Close together....or NOT!
) We didn't want any closer coz we didn't want to compromise that first year of breastfeeding. Turned out that we fed through the pregnancy anyway
) and is a lost easier to reason with.
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