thread: Where's my happy boy gone?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A little place called paradise.
    207

    Question Where's my happy boy gone?

    I'm a SAHM to an ordinarily very happy little DS (who is nearly 13 months), but this last week it's like he has been possessed!! Ok maybe not that bad....but not great either!!!

    My DH works away quite alot but just recently his trips have been 2 weeks away, home for the weekend away again for the week etc... For the first two weeks DS and I got along great, tanties were minimal, sleeps were OKish, eating well he's a guts and life in gerneral was pretty peachy, the DH came for the weekend and DS was fine we all had a lovely weekend and then come Monday afternoon when DH would normally be coming home he started getting grumpy, come bedtime, he wouldn't let me clean his teeth (all 4 of them) Had his BF, then was a nightmare to put to bed.

    Tuesday morning through till Friday arvo he was vile!! Every time I'd say NO to something like if he'd try and climb onto the lounge or bang his blocks on the sliding glass door etc he would have HUGE tantrums, Dinner time is a circus, He has started turning his head from side to side with his mouth open like those clowns so I can't get any food in, Getting him out of the bath is like WW3, loves hopping in but not getting out. His morning sleep is Ok but arvo is a non event, he is tired but won't sleep (bedtime is normally 7ishpm)

    So come friday afternoon I was more than ready to hand him over to DH!! What has happened to my happy little man???

    His finger is forever in his mouth so I know...Teeth but he has never been this bad with the other? he hasn't been sick or running fevers, I've tried every game I can think of, I've taken him to friends to play with their kids, I'm just at a loss?? I'm begining to think I should take him to the doctor and get her to give him the once over just in case I've missed something but in saying that pyshically everything seems fine???

    Is it possible that he is just sick of me??........HELP!!!!

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    In a cloud of madness.
    4,053

    maybe he just missed dad??

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    A little place called paradise.
    207

    I thought that too...Missing his dad, but he hasn't been himself since DH got home really either, A bit better but when your "sharing the caring" all of the grumpiness isn't put on you...Hope I explained that Ok?? So it's kinda hard to tell. just have to wait I guess??

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    1,163

    It is soooo hard doing it on your own when they are grumpy isn't it. Even the most serene calm mum would be driven to insanity I think! My 15mo DD did this to me a few weeks ago (DH works 10+ hours a day and barely gets to see DD or help me) and I was beside myself with frustration. At first I thought it might have been the unveiling of the toddler personality when everything I did and she tried to do led to screams and grizzles.

    Hindsight was the answer for me, a rash showed up after 4 days of this behaviour started so I realised she was actually sick. Adding up all of the little signs through the week, being off her food, waking at night, wanting more boob, grizzliness made it look really obvious... in hindsight! At least, there was nothing different that I could have done for her - it was just a ride it out virus, I just wish I had known for my sanity.

    I am not sure if this is the case for you of course. The unpredictability of your DH's work pattern (at least in your DS's mind) could definitely be the cause of a bit of his unsettled-ness, but he sounds well attached to you when he isn't having his "bad" times and this should be the most important thing for him so I don't really think it explains all that you have described.

    I guess what I am saying is that if your DS is generally a really happy boy, there is probably something physical going on. Maybe if you sit it out, give more cuddles (and BF if necessary) the truth will raise its head soon. If it would ease your mind and help you mentally cope better - absolutely take him to a GP, they might help you add up a few symptoms you hadn't really noticed (like me!)

    One last consideration: it could be the cutting of his molars. I imagine they are more painful than the smaller teeth at the front and they can cut at his age. They could be causing more grief than cutting teeth has before.

    Best of luck sorting it out and making it through till the return of your DH, I hope your beautiful boy re-appears very soon.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Aug 2007
    Tasmania , Australia
    99

    i think our happy toddlers have gone off together .
    mine is excaulay the same , but im a single parent so no missing dad here as she barley see;s him .

    cuddles lets hope we make it through toddler hood

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Euroa, Victoria
    438

    My DS sounds very similar to your only he is a little bit younger I get that feeling like he doesn't like me/is sick of me too. It's horrible.

    Flynn has been a real horror lately. He has been a bit sick, but he was doing it before too. He is getting over a virus but is still Captain Cranky Pants! He was so bad the other day that I called DH cos I just couldn't cope with the screaming anymore, not that DH could do anything on the other end of the phone. He just gave me a bit of grounding IYKWIM.

    He could be a bit crook, he could be cutting more teeth or he could be missing dad/ feeling that his 'routine' is out of whack. They are very perceptive little creatures!

    I hope it gets better for you soon. It can't hurt to have him checked out by a GP (I'd probably do that, especially if it is out of character for him). They may see an ear infection or something?

    A big for you and your gorgeous little horror!!!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    Sydney
    908

    When DS hit 13 months, he suddenly started to throw tantrums. I thought maybe he was sick, or teething - but now I realise that's just part of being a toddler! He knows what he wants but doesn't yet have the language to communicate it & chucks tanties when he doesn't get his way. I am getting much better at distracting him & they don't last long.

    If your DS turns out not to be sick or teething, maybe he's just becoming a "toddler" like my DS?

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Feb 2006
    Inner East, Melbourne
    312

    if you feel concerned, it's worth asking a GP to check his ears. My DD1 was behaving the same way and I felt something wasn't quite right. Turned out she had an ear infection.

    If it's just being a toddler, I found the day goes easier if I can say Yes more than No. So perhaps limit the 'no' activities or temptations and do more activities that he feels like he's in control of. I found trying to be as physically active as possible (local park/playcentre) wore out DD1 at that age and helped with the frustration outbursts.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    Melbourne
    3,660

    Sonya, Ordinarily I would say check out his ears, but my ordinarily happy child is the bloody devil incarnate and it is his MOLARS. He has been fine fr all other but right now his is miserable and intolerable.

    if it's teeth, hng in there...