Salad - We have always had a late bed time too, and also like you, are ok with this because it means DH and DS get some quality time together and we all have dinner together.

I have never bothered to adjust his sleep as the few times that I attempted all hell broke loose and I instinctively knew that it wasn't going to achieve anything. I also found that trying to change it just ended in fights and tears until normal bedtime when he would settle down nicely and that would be it. And so I have watched with interest as he has changed his bedtimes himself.

For a while he bumped it up to 10-11pm but we are now back down to 8.30 - 9.30. He is only 20 months old too, so if you really don't think it is harming her, I would say continue following her lead, and when she starts to quieten down at night take her somewhere quiet and do quiet activites, like read stories in a soft voice and sing gentle songs like Twinkle Twinkle and just let her wind down without any other distrations.

Good luck!