Do you raise boys different to the way you raise girls?
Maybe the title sounds a little odd!..but I couldn't think of another way to put it!
Let me try to explain!...The other day I was thinking about how I am bringing up my DD and how I will bring up DS. It got me thinking, should I raise DS a bit differently to my DD just because he is a boy? and vice versa? Or does it not matter? As in, will they just both naturally develop their own gender specific charcteristics ? (A bit of a nurture vs nature question I guess!).
I think it was on my mind because DH always says he doesn't want DS to turn into a girly boy IYKWIM?! But me on the other hand, would love to raise a boy that was gentle, caring but still strong at the same time.
So anyway, do you treat your DS's any different to your DD's??
Lee, what a great question. To be honest we've raised our children exactly the same. DS#2 went through a stage of playing with his sisters dolls and that was fine with us. My boys are actually totally opposite in the sense that my eldest is messy and hates cleaning up whereas DS#2 is neat & tidy and loves helping me with doing some of the housework. DD#3 is very girly but will also get outside and play in the mud and pick up worms, much to the disgust of DS#2. It's amazing how siblings can be so different to each other, they just develop their own personalities and I think we have just taken things from there.
I've often wondered this same thing. I don't think I consciously treat DS any differently because he is a boy, but I bet in some ways I do. I mean, he has a toy truck that I roar around with him- I wouldn't do that if he were a girl. And yesterday we were outside and he was playing with the dirt and I didn't stop him because I thought "meh, boys do that". So its like as much as I try, the fact he is a boy means I do treat him differently because of these ingrained stereotypes.
I already raise my DS diferent to the girls.....i would like my son to be caring and gentle....but not a mummies boys....(huuuuge pet hate of mine). I want him to be a boy boy....and my girls to be the Princess's that they are...and be into the girly things.
Of course, i will let all my kids grow into how they want....NOT how i want...they are their own person so they should be allowed to express that
I am not expert at boys.having 2 girls and another on the way but I read a very good article in the latest playgroup mag about raising boys. The author of the article highly recommends a book called Raising Boys. This book addresses boys developement, emotional needs. Like wise there is a book called Raising Girls which I'll be buying very soon. I have seen both books at Big W and in book stores.
i raise them the same BUT they learn differently so there has to be an understanding of that and the different processes that boys and girls go through to learn the same things!!
i have read raising boys and it is a great book. it explains alot of the differences, i also have raising girls but havent quite got to reading it yet...
I think they'll develop in their own ways no matter what
My DD1 has always been very girly & prissy, always wearing skirts & dresses & liking flowers & stars & all the girly things. DD2 is pretty girly too, but alot more feral than DD1. Very rough & tumble, a bit of a tom boy.
Then DS has been very mothered, as much as the girls, but you can see the boy in him. He already loves cars & wheels. He'll play with any type of wheel, lol. He threw a tanty when I took him away from mum's car wheel yesterday!!
DH & I have had arguments about him being a 'mummy's boy', but, I'm not worried. DH isn't a mummy's boy & has no respect what so ever for women. He is learning now, but I'm trying to raise my DS the oppisite, coz I don't want him turning out like his father.
DH has learnt to keep his mouth shut now. He agree's that he isn't the not the best male role model & while he's trying to be better, DS will be treated the way I think he should be. Like my baby He will get to do 'boy' things though, like work on cars with the boys & all that stuff.
I think you do it without realising. I mean i'm not one to say he cant play with dolls etc but as Amberj said with things like playing in the dirt etc i think "oh he's a boy its ok" but if my DD gets dirty i imediatley change her cos i think girls should look pretty all the time...
Things like feeding my DD i was a bit stick... I loved the Vrooommm of the car as i brought the spoon to his mouth I was a bit lost for sounds to make to a girl. So we have stuck to animals
My DS is a mummies boy but i think its cos DP is on shift work and they dont get much father and son time. I think once he gets older and is more into sports and things that he'll become more of a mans boy. He is rough and does LOVE Dad time but at the end of the day if i had to pick he is a bit of a mummies boy. Not in a bad way.
He is very protective of me and his sister doesnt really have much of a gentle side ATM but can have if he wasnt going through this nasty stage.
Do you raise boys different to the way you raise girls?
But me on the other hand, would love to raise a boy that was gentle, caring but still strong at the same time.
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