Settling toddlers to sleep....

[Ambah]

Ok you would think that after being a member on these forums for 2.5 years I would have read everything there is to know about settling babies... but I'm wondering if people have different ideas or tips for toddlers??

Aidyn is going through such a bad patch atm... and its been going on for well over 2 months.

He basically wakes up 3-4 times a night, and each time the only way to settle him was to bring him to our bed, and then sometimes I would tranfser him back to his cot once he was asleep (if I hadnt alredy fallen asleep myself!).
At first he was having bad nights maybe only 4 nights a week, but for the past few weeks it has been EVERY night.
He is also fighting naptime too... I find if he wakes up later than 7am, then he is less likely to go down for a nap... however come 6pm and he will be having the biggest tantruming fit I've ever seen, just because he's so tired!
On normal nights when he has had a nap during the day, he plays silly buggers all night, and its quite common for him to still be awake at 9.30pm...

We moved him to a big boy bed on the weekend, as I thought there was no time like the present - no point in sorting out his current sleeping issues, only to disrupt him again when we introduce him to a bed!
I have put his cot mattress next to the bed (in case he rolls out), but basically for the 3 nights he's been in there, it had taken over 1.5hours to get him to sleep... This requires me to lie on the mattress next to him and not talk to him for over an hour (otherwise it distracts him) until he will drift off.
If I dont lie down next to him whilst he's trying to sleep, he just calls out Mummy Mummy! and gets upset, and this just delays the amount of time it takes him to go to sleep.
He is still waking up at least 3 times a night, and last night I had to go in there 3 times and lie down on the floor next to him, but this time I had put my hand up to pat him, or he would dangle his legs down because he wanted contact with me it seems? And then at 4am I gave up and just let him sleep in our bed...

I'd love to hear others advice and suggestions on how I could settle him to sleep... but I am not willing to let him cry it out... I have never been able to do that, and at this age it would make him hysterical, and I cant do that to him.

ETA - do you think this could perhaps be coinciding with his development? Atm and for the last month he has finally began talking heaps more, and is picking up a few new words every day.