Before and after coming home with my newborn, I was taught on-demand feeding. My books and pamphlets from the hospital all talk about recognizing baby's hunger cues, telling me to watch for any signs he is hungry and feed him before he starts to cry.
I aced chapter 1 (BF) of the Baby Care Book. But now I am on to chapter 4 (sleep), and feel I was misguided.
At night, My 3 week old wakes every hour or even twice an hour and will whine and suck on his fists or blanket. If I do not feed him then, he will cry until I do. He often, but not always, falls asleep while feeding. I've been told not to 'let' him do this, because he is not really hungry, he has just developed the association of needing to be fed to go to sleep. He is healthy and gaining plenty of weight, so he probably doesn't need such frequent feedings, but it doesn't seem right to refuse to feed a screaming newborn.
i feed my newborn to sleep all the time. i find it one of the quickest and easiest ways to put him to sleep and then i can put him in his cot and get on with other things.
if it doesn't feel 'right' to you to refuse to feed a screaming baby, then i would say to trust your instincts and do what feels 'right' to you. don't worry about other people, no one knows your baby as well as you do.
we feed to sleep here too - I second what Rainy said - it's all about what feels "right" to you!
One thing I have learned is that babies change when they need to so when someone says if you do that you'll be doing it forever for example is normally wrong as they will stop when they need to. Eg: When DS was a few weeks old he was a velcro baby so I bought a sling and carried him everywhere. after a little while he'd get cranky because he wanted to be on the floor by himself....
As long as you are happy to do it then go for it
We 'still' feed to sleep here, don't worry about what the book says!! You're the expert on your baby (not the book) so do what feels right and you will be fine!!
It is so confusting in the beginning and everyone has different advice.
At 3 weeks, your baby needs to suck. He most likely will need 8 - 12 feeds in 24 hours so does need to feed often, but also needs comfort. Babies are designed to feed to sleep - there are hormones released with the breast milk which make baby (and mum!) sleepy so that they both go to sleep after a feed, especially at night. There is nothing wrong with doing this - it is what nature intended. I have also read about it being "bad" but TBH I did it with both my boys and it never became a habit. At 3 weeks they are too young to have habits anyway - they just have needs.
Many mums worry that feeding their baby to sleep means that baby won't ever sleep without it. In my experience with myself and other mums, I have rarely seen this happen. Mums find that when they are not there - if they go out for dinner or back to work - baby sleeps just fine without a bf when mum isn't there to give it. Babies do learn that there are different situations, and they also grow out of the need to feed to sleep as they get bigger.
The most important thing I have learnt from being a parent is to trust my instinct. If something feels right, it probably is. No matter what the books try to tell me! The early days are tiring - baby feeds often and doesn't know day from night yet. But very soon it settles down and you will get more rest and more confidence in your own abilities. You are doing a great job hun. I know you will continue to do a great job.
Your little man is only 3 weeks old! At that age I think the best thing is to feed when you think he needs to be fed and not to follow any sort of routine or book, babies unfortunately don't come with manuals and even though some books can be helpful I really don't think feeding to sleep will create any sort of problem at this age.
Trust your instincts, they're usually right
i fed my DD1 to sleep.. gor 2 and a half years! i was always told to do the 'feed, play, sleep' cycle, but what suited us was 'sleep, play, feed'
when she got older (12m+) if i had to go out at night, or if she spent an entire day with nan/aunty, she would just lay down ans sleep when she needed to. but if i was there, it was 'boobie mum!'
i am determined this time, to not have the same routine. while there is nothing wrong with feeding to sleep, im choosing not to do it this time! so far, we're doing well... a couple of feeds per day, she is falling asleep while feeding (she is snoozing in my arms now) im not going to wake her when she does this, but if she is half awake, half asleep.. i will change her nappy or something to wake her. i have put a dummy in her mouth a few times, this has helped her go off to sleep as well. i wouldnt use the dummy if i thought she was still hungry. my health nurse commented that she probably only needs one feed in her wakeful times, rather than the two i was giving her, as she has put on more weight than average (exactly the same as DD1)
sorry i got carried away a bit, but i just wanted you to know that it is ok to do what YOU want to do! it doesn't hurt to give things a go, sometimes they work, sometimes they dont.
Firstly, you're doing a great job with your baby - they're lucky to have such an in-tune mummy!
Feeding to sleep often divides people, but the advice I liked the best was. Do WHATEVER works for the first 12 weeks and then re-assess if you want things changed.
In the early weeks it is vital your baby learns to trust you and grow an attachment, and one of the best ways to do that is to respond quickly and appropriately to their cries. If that means feeding 24/7 (and boy did I have days like that) then so be it. I know it seems like forever, but seriously those early days are like a blink in the scheme of things.
I strongly believe babies don't form habits until the 3 month mark, so just do your best to survive these early days, and get to know your baby...its all about falling in love at this stage, so enjoy it!!
Also, breastfeeding is only really established at the 3 week mark, so your baby might just be trying to sort out your supply if they're feeding so often (we still have nights like that here, and they usually are a pre-curser to a growth spurt).
Did I have problems feeding to sleep? Depends what you mean by a problem. I try not to do it now, but the fastest way to get my DD back to sleep in the night is...you guessed it..a nice warm boob in her mouth!!
Good luck. You're doing so well! Don't second-guess yourself...and remember, NO ONE knows your baby as well as you do (in other words, the books have nothing on you instinct and your heart!)
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Feeding to sleep
It is so confusting in the beginning and everyone has different advice.
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