I just want to throw in the towel..

***LittleMissSummer*** · October 26th, 2012, 05:20 PM

I can't do it anymore. He is impossible and i just don't have the energy or patience to deal anymore.

EVERY SINGLE feed time is the same. He screams he is hungry so i prepare a bottle. He won't drink, just plays with the teat with his tongue. So i take the bottle out thinking "ok maybe you aren't hungry" and he screams bloody murder at me. He arches his back, makes it impossible to get him to lay down to feed. If i can manage to get him to drink when it comes to burping he carries on so much that he ends up with bad wind pain and becomes hysterical. A feed which should take no more than 20 minutes is an hour event.

I have been patient, patting his back/bum and telling him its ok. But i am just at my wits end. I get SO frustrated that ive yelled at him a few times to stop it or have just put him in his cot and closed the door and walked away. 9 times out of 10 he cries for a few minutes and he goes to sleep other times he gets even more wound up.

Its just a viscious cycle and i don't know what to do. I don't see any reason why he's acting this way, his behaviour is some what normal before he gets hungry just when it comes to actual feed time he acts like this.

**Butterfly Dawn** · October 26th, 2012, 05:28 PM

Hugs
That sounds very hard to deal with.
Breath. He's not being a silly sausage on purpose. He's a bit young to do that yet

how often is he feeding? Maybe try interesting him in a bottle 5mins earlier?
my ds2 goes from fine to over hungry and his behaviour turns to custard within a few mins and he's always been that way. Then he'll have a tiny amount and gets back to it.

Is the teat the right size? my dd through a bottle the other night cause the teat was wrong size- couldn't get enough milk (little monkey)

**Catastrophic** · October 26th, 2012, 05:40 PM

Hugs hugs.

Could you try a different bottle/teat.
Feeding him on a schedule might help, fed him before he gets overly hungry.

Could you try the feed/play/ sleep routine - I can't say I actually agree with it but it seems to help some people.

**k4t** · October 26th, 2012, 05:44 PM

Hugs. Sorry I don't have much bottle feeding experience but I agree with trying to feed earlier. Letting a breastfeed baby get hungry enough they scream always makes it much harder so bottle fed must be similar. Try a different brand of bottle/teat?

***LittleMissSummer*** · October 26th, 2012, 06:42 PM

He only likes Avent bottles and i have the correct teat so i don't know whats wrong.

I used to have a feed routine so i would catch him before he was hungry but he is so irregular now that i will offer a feed at the usual time and he won't be interested and then an hour later start howling. He sleeps through the night so i atleast get some sleep which i think is all thats keeping me sane for the moment.

I play with him LOTS so he could be getting over stimulated by playing.

**Cassius2** · October 26th, 2012, 06:56 PM

I would bring it up with your MACH nurse and see if they can check for a tongue tie? even a posterior one...sometimes that kind of fussing and wind etc can be linked back to that.

not an easy road getting to know the quirks of these kidlets xx

**briggsy's girl** · October 26th, 2012, 07:07 PM

Arching the back may also be a sign of reflux. Definitely talk to your child nurse about it.

**Razzberry** · October 26th, 2012, 07:33 PM

I have felt like you have with my DD, except it was with BF, it was traumatising and stressful trying to feed her. I ended up crying everytime it came close to feed time because I knew what was going to happen. She had severe reflux what you are describing sounds like reflux to me- ask your doctor about it, he may need medication. Babies who are in pain can pain association with either the breast or bottle and it's very hard to relearn that it won't cause pain.

***LittleMissSummer*** · October 26th, 2012, 07:41 PM

Arching the back may also be a sign of reflux. Definitely talk to your child nurse about it.

I went to the doctors and the doctor i saw said that because he isn't chucking up huge amounts (he chucks up a little bit but mostly swallows it) and is gaining weight then its of no concern and that he will grow out of it.

I might get a second opinion as if hes in pain i'd like something for it.

**Taurean** · October 26th, 2012, 08:50 PM

I second the reflux idea. DD1 had silent reflux, I could count on two hands the amount of times she actually chucked as a baby but that arching and screaming was hell. She was finally diagnosed by her fabulous Paed (our GP was useless TBH) at about 10 weeks and put on Losec. We noticed a massive difference within days.

DD2 was also on Losec for reflux but she was a big chucker but there was lots of issues like you're describing especially when she was over hungry.

Good luck, I hope you can find a GP to help you.

**Catastrophic** · October 26th, 2012, 09:20 PM

I second the no chucking reflux. Dd2 at silent reflux with arching back and screaming non stop she wasn't a clucky baby. Sorry I didn't out two and two together

**AndiE** · October 26th, 2012, 09:45 PM

Just another idea in case it's not reflux ... if you can, try a chiropracter. Someone trained to manipulate (in the chiropractic sense) infants can make the world of difference. From memory, your DS had a really fast birth - as did DS3. It might stand to reason that he's got a pain in the neck (or similar). DS3's speedy delivery appears to have had an impact on his cranials and pelvis. After a few weeks of chiropractic care, he's gone from a shocking feeder on my right breast to being pretty good most of the time. The chiro also helped DS3's horrid wind pain (colic) and his mega chucking after a feed.

Good luck - feeding a new-ish baby can be very, very stressful so try not to be too hard on yourself or your bub. xx

**briggsy's girl** · October 27th, 2012, 06:43 AM

Reflux definitely doesn't have to have chucking as a side effect. (Not does chucking mean reflux. Happy chucker a come to mind) Many babies have silent reflux, and a sign like arching back shouldn't be ignored, as it often means bub is in pain. Definitely get a second opinion. Perhaps see if you can get DP to record what he is doing during a feed so you can show the gp rather than trying to explain it too. DD had some problems as a bub, and they were brushed off the first time I mentioned them, cos they weren't happening right at that time. So I recorded something to show and was taken seriously after that.

***LittleMissSummer*** · October 27th, 2012, 06:45 AM

Thanks ladies. I will have to go back and get a second opinion as he does get very wound up and cries as though he is in pain

I'm still yet to hear back about his specialist appointment regarding his hips. So i might chase that up too.

**surprised** · October 27th, 2012, 07:10 AM

Can you try feeding him a bit more upright if he doesn't want to lie down?

**LysnDan** · October 27th, 2012, 11:59 AM

I second the silent reflux. DD had this and still suffers from it now, just not as bad as she used to! We used the gaviscon infant sachets as well as a formula for reflux. We also were on losec until 4.5months old and I added infants friend to every bottle. It seems a lot but it helped massively. They don't have to be losing weight to be suffering!

If he does feed, I suggest you kept him upright for about 30minutes after so gravity can help.

Hugs hun. It's not easy. Your a good mummy and doing all u can. Keep it up xx

**LysnDan** · October 29th, 2012, 03:17 AM

How are you doing, littlemisssummer?

***LittleMissSummer*** · October 29th, 2012, 07:15 AM

A little better though he was absolutely hysterical last night for no reason he wouldnt take the bottle at all, even DP gave up trying to calm him and hes my 'go to' person when i can't do it but after some nappy free time and big plays he went to sleep.

He's now having a bottle with no fuss. Ill watch him today and perhaps see someone tomorrow.