Hi hun,
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles with your DD being a velcro bub, it must be pretty hard I'm also very sorry to hear about your mum, I hope she gets better soon. No wonder you feel like you're losing the plot with whats been happening! I'm not sure of what to suggest except finding a different way to carry her close to you during the day so that you have your hands free to do things. My DS didn't like any slings/carriers except mummie's arms too. My SIL ended up carrying her DS in the baby bjorn carrier most of the day as he wouldn't settle any other way. Perhaps you can try a different sling/carrier? What 'sort of' worked for my DS (I'm a bit ashamed to admit ) was a vibrating bouncer I got from Kmart for $30 and I used to plop him in front of the TV for 1/2 hour or so so I could do things.....sometimes he'd fall asleep (rarely unfortunately) often he'd just be happy watching TV. He loved the vibrations. When he was 5 months old, I used to feed him his purees and first solid foods as he was still not sitting up by himself. I hope something works soon for you.
B xox