My son (15 months) has been a handful since birth. I do very full on attachment parenting which is the only way anyone could parent a child like this and stay sane, I'm sure.
I can't get anything done. As a baby, you figure that's normal, but by toddlerdom, it's becoming a bit ridiculous. It takes two of us to make dinner, one to hold Ci. I can't do laundry because I can't carry him and the basket downstairs so I have to wait until he is asleep. My husband is picking up the slack, but he is going back to work full time soon.
I have two slings, a ring sling for short term hip carries, and an ergo for longer things like the markets and when I need both hands and he goes on my back. He loves the sling, hasn't known a day without one in his life but he doesn't like it when I stop moving. I feel like a friggin' horse, he kicks me to move if I stop too long to look at something. And heaven forbid I try to cook dinner or do dishes cos that means I am standing in one spot.
I have tried forging on while he is complaining in the sling (which can be from just whines to full on screaming/crying) and I have tried not holding him to see if he gives up (he throws himself at my feet, follows me around the kitchen with his arms up, crying, sometimes screaming - I can't do it, esp as I am such an AP I don't like to leave him solo cry. I don't mind so much if he is crying in arms, just not without me). I dance, I play music, none of it gives much peace for very long. He just wants to be held in my arms in the front.
AUGH! I'm frustrated. He cries a lot, always has if he is not in-arms and sometimes even when he is and I've learned to adapt. He needs to be close all the time, I've mostly enjoyed that. He is happy as the proverbial pig if I hold him, but I can't do that and make dinner or get anything else done. My shoulder can't take the ring sling for very long, so that's no solution. The ergo on my back seems to frustrate him maybe because he gets sleepy (sometimes falls asleep in it at the wrong times) and can't see anything much.
I'm getting tired of a junk yard house, and take out for dinner and fishing through dirty laundry for something for my daughter to wear. I spend my time holding him and being available to his constant whining/complaining/screaming. It's odd because he can fall head first into concrete and not bat an eyelid but he'll start screaming another time just out of the blue for no seeming reason at all. I hope it's teething, in which case, he's been teething since birth.
My younger brother doesn't leave my stepmum alone either. She just ignores him, which ishard for her to do as she is still struggling with PND, and eventually he gets bored of it and goes and watches a dvd.
In your case, I think you would have to try things a bit differently. Try sitting him in his high chair where he can see you but isn't in your way? And give him some snacks or toys to keep him occupied. The issue is that he has to learn that he can't be held ALL the time.
It will take time, but just extend the amount of time it takes you to respond to his tantrums buy 30 seconds or so each time, and praise him if he spends even a minute not screaming.
I hope it helps a bit, it's just what we tried with my little brother and it has mostly worked (he has a few relapses every now and then, but my stepmum can now get dinner cooked.)
Can he 'help' you cook dinner? Sit him in a highchair or a spot on the floor with plastic containers and a wooden spoon. Keep talking to him about what a good helper he is. Plastic or felt fruit and vegies that he can put in the pot whilst you are doing the same.
High needs hell
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