DS is wunderkind, I know. But even so, he has some rather worrying behaviour.
Yesterday at Nursery he rugby-tackled a little girl to the floor and started to give her loads of kisses. Cute? Can you imagine if this was a couple of teenagers? Not cute. Luckily the girl in question, a few months DS's junior, found it hilarious, as did the nursery workers.
I don't. Well, it is cute at the moment, I suppose, but it is not behaviour I wish to encourage. If the children were 19 and 15 years rather than 19 and 15 months it would be classed as harrassment.
How can you gently discourage this? At home we're very kissy and we do play a bit of rough-and-tumble, but how to teach it's OK at home with consent but not to just random girls who take your fancy?
I don't think I'd worry too much. He'll get to 5 or 6 & suddenly all girls will have cooties til he's about 10.
By then he should be too shy, but old enough to understand how to treat a lady if you start teaching him then.
hmmmmm i wouldn't be comparing behaviour of a toddler to behaviour of an adult, it just doesn't make sense... of course he will know by the time he is 19 that it isn't socially acceptable to crash tackle a girl and smother her in kisses (unless of course they are dating ) until then you just have to gently steer them in the right direction but i wouldn't worry, at this age they can get away with ALOT.... people will understand they are just learning afterall....
for me i'd only be worrying if it was truely negative behaviour, like biting, punching, kicking etc, then i think its a whole different kettle of fish!!
It's behaviour that another child may not like. Yes, it's not "negative" like biting, but if another child doesn't WANT to be tackled and kissed then that shouldn't happen.
I know I've already had to apologise to little girls on DS's behalf before due to him wanting hugs when the girls don't (yeah, I guess they do change when they grow up!) and prise DS off, but this is one step too far for me.
Emma, I normally do positive modelling and gentle explainations.
DS isn't perfect but he's not too bad. His main failing is running onto the road. Which means we usually use reins or I block him (or play crossing roads with him for hours if it's safe to do so) - if he is getting REALLY insistant and it's dangerous then it's the pushchair. But he's polite and kind and loving, if he does something we don't like then we first distract him, then if he continues we explain we don't do that because... and that seems to work wonders.
But how to let him know it's OK in one situation but not another? I've not really had to do that before, because pushing or biting is never OK so he doesn't do that (much!) to anyone - in fact, I'm the usual victim of that (because DS is tired or hungry so he comes to me then).
I'd love him to do this to me, but I do know that other children don't like him being so loving, especially if they don't know him too well.
My DS is also very kissy kissy and went through a phase at about 18-22 months of age where he would inflict affection on poor unsuspecting children. There was a couple of times when the other child didn't like it and I would explain that it was very nice of him to want to kiss and hug but that little boy/girl just doesn't want a kiss right now and lead him away.
The parents of the "victim" were always fine about it, but once he startled another little boy so much the kid just fell over flat on his back and hit his head. The boy's dad thought it was hilarious thank goodness, and poor DS tried to comfort the other boy by giving him another hug, oh what a mess.
It's stopped now...and I don't think it was anything I did to discourage him, it was just a passing phase.
I don't think you can at that age. They are either outgoing and exuberant or introverted and withdrawn. He will "get" that it's innapropriate the first time a girl DOESN'T giggle. It's a natural consequence and extremely unlikely he'll get to 19 years old before he takes a shine to someone who isn't interested. HOnestly i wouldn't worry about it too much hun, it's developmentally appropriate - remember he sees these kids a lot. They're class-siblings to him, and extension of family. And as in every family he'll do it one day and get popped on the nose by some disgruntled toddler and learn that not EVERYONE likes to be jumped on and kissed. Meantime if i were you i'd lie down somewhere accessible and enjoy the kissies!
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